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Baby's first birthday do's and don'ts?
Filed under: Babies, Activities: Babies, Holidays, In The News
So Mr. Pickles is fast approaching his one year mile marker. At the end of January I will have two months to put together something, if anything, to celebrate the day he joined us and made my life the happy place it is today. As he nears toddlerdom, I consider all I've read about having parties for children.
Most of it is bad publicity. The parents go too far--overboard is a word I read frequently--and they spend too much. The parties end up being more about the parents and how much money they have than about the kids, that kind of thing. So much of what I read is so negative that it makes me wonder why I want to have a party at all.
When I was a kid my mom threw parties for me. We weren't ridiculously rich and my mother was responsible with our money, so my parties featured items like homemade cakes (tasty!) of muppet characters and skating at the local roller rink. They were fun and surrounded by friends and pizza and that was pretty much it.
In the modern world that would probably be seen as totally lame. Still, I don't want to do just let the day go by. Sure, we could celebrate Mr. Pickles' #1 with just me and daddy (and the dogs and kitty) in what will hopefully be our new apartment. We could go out to a nice dinner somewhere or take him to a museum or the park if it's warm enough. We could buy him clothes and toys when we should really be putting more money into his college fund.
But I want to share. I want to share my son with the world--well, with our friends, anyway, who've been so loving and fun and supportive throughout my pregnancy and Mr. Pickles' life. I want to share the joy that Mr. P. has brought our family, and extend that family to include all our pals.
Maybe I even want to throw a little booze into the mix and make my famous chili or my hot curried fruit, which has folks asking me to have an event just so I'll make some. I guess when it comes right down to it the party for Mr. Pickles is also one for me and my husband. We're proud parents and don't mind sharing our love for our son with everyone we know. And even some people we don't know!
So I guess the do's and don'ts of having a party for your kid have changed, but do they always apply? And what are they, anyway? Don't spend too much money? Don't make an ass of yourself by hiring an entire circus to take over you backyard or something? Don't make the party about you and your status?
That's a lot of Don'ts, and I can't think of any Do's. I am reminded, however, of the scene from Parenthood (one of my all-time favorite movies) where Steve Martin has to improvise for his son's birthday when the planned entertainment doesn't show up. He gets into some kooky make shift costume and struts his stuff for all the kids. They all make fun of him and he makes fun of himself and everyone laughs and has a good time and only Steve Martin could get away with it. Because he's Steve Martin, right?
Well, maybe not so much. I think the point is that he cared enough about his son to do whatever it was going to take to make things work. And, you know, his form of entertainment didn't cost a lot of dough, either.
So I have my work cut out for me. My son will be a year old and more likely entertained by the boxes his presents from us arrive in or the cake we may let him investigate for the first time. The grandparents will not be here en masse to help us celebrate because they all live out of state. Mr. Pickles will be too young to have any friends, although he does have a few pals around his age that are the children of our friends, and they'll all be along for whatever we undertake.
I'm sure whatever I do will be enough or too much or just right. We'll all have a good time and spend more time cleaning up than anything else. We'll take tons of pictures and look back at them, as we do those when he was first born, and wonder at the miracle of it all. And then maybe we'll all get a good birthday nap.
Pic of adorable penguin birthday cake by litlnemo.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
2-04-2008 @ 10:46PM
isisaquaria said...booze at a child's b-day? That is a definite no-no @ any age!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
1-22-2008 @ 8:56PM
Jen Henry said...I'm totally with you on the celebration, but not on the stuff...
We typically have low-key affairs here. Homemade everything with just family. I imagine when my kids are older they'll start making their own requests and that's fine. For now, though they don't really have any 'friends' of their own so we fill the house with family and they play with their cousins.
Like you said, I think it's important to celebrate your child, to celebrate you as parents. But I don't think it's necessary to overindulge either. Your kid will be happy with attention and likely to be less happy with too much.
Just my $.02. :)
http://furoreandfrenzy.blogspot.com
Reply
1-21-2008 @ 4:14PM
Jill said...Do make sure your child enjoys himself. If he gets stressed out in large noisy groups of adults, don't put him in the center of one. Do make sure to get him regular sleep; don't hold a party at naptime or make bedtime late. Do be sure you will be able to be with him to help him understand the events (my son looked wild-eyed at a candle placed in front of him and cried when 8 adults started to sing); don't be so busy being a hostess you can't attend to him. Do make the party fun, short and simple. Take a cue from your own comment: he will "more likely (be) entertained by the boxes his presents from us arrive in or the cake". Don't overwhelm him. A lot of babies hate their first birthday party and are removed from the scene, crying.
Reply
1-21-2008 @ 4:48PM
Crystal said...I'm guilty of WAY over doing it. :) My kids' birthdays to me are BIGGER than Christmas. We arent very religious, so I would much rather go crazy to celebrate the day I became a Mommy. And then again for the second time when my daughter was born. Luckily for me both my kids and myself were born in August, so we have one HUGE birthday celebration. (My poor husband's birthday is in Feb, he is lucky if he even gets a cake.) lol
For my sons 1st birthday we had a private party were we attend Mommy and me classes. Its wasnt overly expensive and the place catered to adults with coffee, seating and a quiet area to sit and gab and then the kids went crazy in the gym area. It was worth it for me, I didnt have to worry about cramming everyone in our apartment, I didnt have to cook or entertain, and I didnt have to worry about the mess afterwards.
We did a skating party for his 2nd birthday. Yes, he loves to skate. Even at 2. And it wasnt at all Lame! :)
You know your style and you know how you want to celebrate his (and your) special day. Dont let anyone tell you different...
Reply
1-21-2008 @ 6:05PM
Crystal said...Oh, and where did you get the Linux Tux Cake pic? Was that done free hand? Or with some sorta of a pattern??
Reply
1-21-2008 @ 6:19PM
Uly said..."In the modern world that would probably be seen as totally lame."
I'd find it a refreshing change, and a nice chance to relax instead of worrying about how I'll one-up you later.
Reply
1-21-2008 @ 11:19PM
Carolyn said...We invited everyone we know to our daughter's first birthday. There was food, booze, presents, kids, laughter, chaos. The house was packed and she - not a fan of crowds at the best of times - was not all that impressed. But looking back I don't think I would change it. Our friends and family are hugely important to us, and while that was a really big day for my husband and I, she won't even remember it.
Her second birthday is coming up, and we're planning a trip to the zoo with just the three of us and then cake with the grandparents. The first birthday was for us, I guess. From here on out they'll be for her.
I hope your celebration is fun and memorable!
Carolyn
http://www.momsontheedge.typepad.com
Reply
1-22-2008 @ 5:10AM
Anji said...For Orion's first birthday I invited my family, my two best friends and my next door neighbours, into my house. We ate pizza and Orion opened his presents and then we had cake and he sat enraptured as we sang "Happy Birthday" to him. It was wonderful. :D
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1-22-2008 @ 10:03AM
queentree said...If the party is at your house, make sure your start time is right after his nap, put and end time on the invitation if you know that you are inviting "the people that never leave" to the party. Some people are inconsiderate and don't know that it's a long day for your family. Do not get a cake with buttercream frosting...very, very greasy and hard to cleam up the mess!
Reply
1-22-2008 @ 8:57PM
J Jordan said...Hi, Jen Henry--thanks for your comment! I like the idea of simple, easy and homemade. That sounds like a great combo for a pleasant experience. :)
Reply
1-23-2008 @ 12:06AM
rebecca Biernesser said...i think it's okay to celebrate the 1st birthday however you want. I made a 3-D tiered ducky cake for my son's 1st birthday. We had the family over and just hung out. My son dug into the 3-D ducky and we had the bottom layer to ourselves. He opened presents, blah, blah, blah....
It was relaxing and nice just to be with family and let my little prince get all nice and gooey with chocolate cake.
If you want to see a picture of the cake that I made, email me and I'll send you a picture of it ;-)
ALSO, since you call him Mr. Pickles...make him a cake in the shape of a pickle or one with "pickles" on it
Reply
1-23-2008 @ 12:44AM
SKL said...I combined the 1st birthday party with the welcome home party, so it was some people's first time seeing my girls. It was supposed to be from 4-6 but ended up being more like 4-9 with the cake at around 6:30 or so (bad, I know). I invited all the women who had been invited to my shower, and their male counterparts, and a few people I didn't invite to the shower because I didn't want to ask them to buy me stuff (subordinates at work, etc.). I requested no gifts - and while some people didn't comply, I didn't have "gift opening." Just food, socializing, and cake/birthday song. Our only decorations were balloons and birthday cards. The girls were pretty good until their bedtime (then older baby had a hissy because someone kept manhandling her). All in all, it was a really nice time, because the focus was on the babies and the guests.
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