Abstinence education in public schools

Any time you use the phrase: "It's a proven fact" you're just inviting furious arguments. I guarantee you're about to get a stream of commenters insisting that THEIR child is part of the other 42 percent.

Personally, I agree that abstinence only education is a bad idea, and I think you're right that talking about the ineffectiveness of contraceptives just encourages kids to say, "why bother?" In fact I think the more honest you are with your kids about sex, which includes discussing all options, the more likely they are to be abstinent. And if they're NOT going to be abstinent, they need to know how to protect themselves from both diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

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I think that "abstinence only" education is ridiculous. Truth is, our kids are bombarded with sexual images....from cartoons to commercials to movies and more. As a parent, I do my best to limit these images and not allow my 11 year to watch shows/movies that are overtly sexual but I'm blown away by what his friends are allowed to see....and HAVE been for years. These messages are programmed into our childrens minds and they go to school and are taught that sex is bad before marriage and that condomns do not equal "Safe Sex." To me, it is pure stupidity.

I think you are so right Meagan, kids hear that there is no such thing as "Safe Sex" and think "Why bother?" Thats the LAST thing I want my son to be thinking! I will BUY my son condoms and leave them in his room when he's a teenager. I will teach him, and my unborn son, that I would prefer they dont have sex until they're older. I'll teach them that the future is too important and one act of being careless can lead to a lifetime of having to take care of a child.

Ultimately, it is our job as parents to teach our children morals and give them information about sex. Schools should give out information, but factual information. I would prefer that our school system was not run by our conservative government but it is and because of that it is our job as parents to give our children the other side of the coin. If we dont, it is my opinion that we are doing our children an injustice!

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See, now I'd think a program called "Worth the Wait" would be something I could get behind (from the name alone)...but it's not what I'd hoped!
I was one of those teenagers having sex, and I desperately hope my daughter (and any other children I might have) is NOT. Not because I find it morally reprehensible or anything...but because I discovered I was sad, when I finally met the man I married, that I couldn't share that first time with him, that there was nothing (physically, I mean) that we could do together that we hadn't done with others.
Of course, just because I hope that I can make that point to my daughter and that she does wait, at least until she's beyond the teenage years if not until marriage, does not mean she won't be educated on contraception and disease prevention!

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It's a fact: want kids to do something, tell them not to do it!

Hahaha!

(This statement is doubly true if you are raised Catholic.)

OK, mostly kidding. But really, the teens I knew in school made up their own minds about sexuality and no amount of preaching could've changed their minds. In fact, I think it's a biological imperative to have sex as a teen! Perhaps the strongest deterrent from having sex was a good self esteem, which was built at home. And even then, hormones are stronger than intellect.

I'm convinced that teaching about childbirth (not the silly baby care courses they do) in all its painful, liquid glory would be the most effective birth control ever.

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I think abstinence only education is hilarious. What doesn't get learned in school or in the home will get learned "out behind the woodshed". My mother's approach, in my humble opinion, was absolutely brilliant. When I was about 12 (might have to start younger these days), she brought home a series of medical drawings showing the male bits, the female bits and how they fit together. Ewww!!! Then she "let" me watch some PBS show from the 70s that featured a woman giving birth. OMG!!! Then, when I was 16, she took me to the gynecologist for my first appointment and a frank discussion about various birth control methods. Now mind you, my mother's hope was that all of this would reinforce the message of waiting until marriage to have sex. Didn't work out that way, but it did give me a powerful incentive to take my sexual choices seriously (and not rely on anyone else for birth control).

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what about the parents doing their job and stop having the government liberal or conservative do it...they cant do it as well as we can so why do we even let them try...if parents dont want to do the job then let the parents pay for someone to come into their home and explain it their children with the parents beliefs in mind...simple solution... problem solved...then the government is one more step out of our lives which is how it should be...i dont want them intruding in my families life...

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I love this argument. "The kids are doing it anyway, so obviously we can't teach them any different!" Kids are doing drugs, but that doesn't mean we as parents should teach them "safe" ways to do those drugs. I think it's sad how many people continue to attack abstinence education as an ineffective method of teaching. I think current sex education methods are just as ineffective, unless by sex education you mean "teaching children how to have sex at earlier ages with more partners" - in which case the media and public schools have been exponentially successful over the last 50 years.

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I read an article once that said something very interesting:

When your condom doesn't prevent a pregnancy, we chalk it up to user error. The *actual* success rate of condoms, therefore, is somewhat lower than the lab success rate.

Same thing with The Pill - the actual success rate, in the real world, isn't going to be as high as the potential success rate if everybody were perfect.

But when you decide to use abstinence as your birth control (or STD prevention) method, and then have sex and get pregnant anyway, they claim you weren't abstaining at all. Although it's clear that the *actual* rate of pregnancies from those who try to use abstinence is a lot higher than the lab rate (the rate if everybody actually abstained), people still claim it has a 100% perfect rate of preventing pregnancy and the spread of disease, every time.

Talk about selecting the facts!

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I would have to research more to determine whether I agree with your concerns about "worth the wait."

From the quotes you cited, it did not sound like they are withholding the information that condoms reduce risks, nor saying that condoms should not be used if a teen chooses to have sex. I think it sounds like they are teaching the exact opposite.

However, I absolutely agree with the argument that condoms do not make sex "safe." The truth is that there is no such thing as "safe sex" other than sex within marriage between historically monogamous people when pregnancy is desired.

It seems to me that the vast majority of people think teens should be taught that sex is "safe" if a condom is used. If you really want your child to have all the information he needs to make a decision, you should not be wanting anyone to lie to him about "safe sex."

It seems to me that if your teen knows a pregnancy and STDs can still happen when a condom is used, (a) they may be more likely to avoid going "all the way" longer; (b) they may be more selective about who they mess with; and (c) they will be more likely to use multiple forms of birth control in order to reduce their risks. I don't see how anyone could argue that any of these results is problematic.

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