.jpg)
Scary Guy teaches kids about tolerance
Categories: Newborns, In The News, Education
So, yesterday I am eating my morning cereal and reading my local newspaper, when I flip over to the Lifestyle section and see this face. Of course, I am intrigued and feel compelled to read the accompanying article. I was expecting a story about tattoos, ex-cons or perhaps even professional wrestling. What I got was a story about a man who has devoted his life to spreading the word about love, acceptance and the rejection of prejudice.
His name is Scary Guy and my reaction to his appearance and the assumptions I made based on them are par for the course. "It's all good," says Guy. "I understand where they're coming from. ... They're going to judge me whether I want them to or not. It's learned behavior. We're all doing it. And we're passing it on."
Scary Guy would like for us to stop passing it on to our children. To that end, he travels the world speaking to school kids about intolerance and prejudice and the the bullying, violence and hatred it can breed.
"Could a guy in a suit and tie deliver this message?" he asks.
Born in Minnesota as Earl Kaufmann, Scary Guy is a sight to see. With 85 percent of his body covered in tattoos and multiple facial piercings, he's been described as "frightening" and was even banned from a school appearance after some parents got a look at him. Like me, those parents made assumptions based on how he looks and they were wrong. Scary Guy isn't a bad guy. He just looks different. And that is his whole point.
One thing he does with kids is to have them go an entire week without saying a negative thing about another person and not calling them anything but their name. "Every word you speak that has anything to do with negative energy in your heart creates another negative energy in this world," Guy says. I think a lot of adults could benefit from that exercise as well.
His name is Scary Guy and my reaction to his appearance and the assumptions I made based on them are par for the course. "It's all good," says Guy. "I understand where they're coming from. ... They're going to judge me whether I want them to or not. It's learned behavior. We're all doing it. And we're passing it on."
Scary Guy would like for us to stop passing it on to our children. To that end, he travels the world speaking to school kids about intolerance and prejudice and the the bullying, violence and hatred it can breed.
"Could a guy in a suit and tie deliver this message?" he asks.
Born in Minnesota as Earl Kaufmann, Scary Guy is a sight to see. With 85 percent of his body covered in tattoos and multiple facial piercings, he's been described as "frightening" and was even banned from a school appearance after some parents got a look at him. Like me, those parents made assumptions based on how he looks and they were wrong. Scary Guy isn't a bad guy. He just looks different. And that is his whole point.
One thing he does with kids is to have them go an entire week without saying a negative thing about another person and not calling them anything but their name. "Every word you speak that has anything to do with negative energy in your heart creates another negative energy in this world," Guy says. I think a lot of adults could benefit from that exercise as well.
Recent Posts
- Reviews: What's New This Week (11/06/2009)
- Jim Carrey's "A Christmas Carol" Creepy in a Good Way (11/06/2009)
- Twitter Follow Friday on ParentDish! (11/06/2009)
- Babies Pick Up Mothers' Accents In The Womb (11/06/2009)
- Recall: Adventure Playsets (11/06/2009)
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Mel 1-25-2008 @ 2:48PM
While it's a nice sentiment, this is exactly what's wrong with U.S. schools. Excessive focus on "feelings" and "tolerance" and "acceptance," minimal focus on schooling.
Also: This man is ultimately doing the students a disservice by teaching that acceptance is expected. The truth is, many people do not and will never accept an appearance like that of Scary Man. When kids grow up thinking that there are no standards of normalcy, they eventually become adults who lack basic life skills.
Reply
kate 1-25-2008 @ 2:57PM
So Mel, are we all supposed to be white, blond, and blue eyes? Is that "normal"? Would you feel better then?
The truth is, while he's "extreme", tolerance is VITAL to raising children who are compassionate. Whether it's toward a child/person with disabilities, a different skin color or two daddies, children (and clearly some adults) need to learn that "different" is ok. I personally do not want to live in a world where children grow up to be people afraid of being different.
In my world, acceptance IS expected, and I'm proud that my daughter is growing up to be a loving, tolerant, empathetic INDIVIDUAL.
Uly 1-25-2008 @ 9:34PM
"When kids grow up thinking that there are no standards of normalcy, they eventually become adults who lack basic life skills."
Really? Do you have any evidence for this? At all?
David 2-24-2008 @ 12:57AM
That is one of the most deeply flawed arguments I have ever heard.
First of all, a reference to one or more studies or some sort of evidence for that would be nice.
Secondly, he quite clearly does not think that acceptance is expected or that it is the way people generally behave, he explicitly says the opposite, and that the children should act in an accepting way which thus far has not occurred.
Thirdly, just because he is telling them that prejudice based on appearance should be gotten rid of, does not mean that he is advising there be no standards for normalcy, rather (this bit is my interpretation, however I believe that the implication is very strong) that standards for normalcy should be based on morals and behaviour towards others rather than elements of expression that are incapable of harming another.
Thirdly, basic life skills? Regardless of how you achieve them, basic life skills consist of getting food, shelter, etc. It is quite possible to achieve this without, say, employment or social interaction if desired. Besides, perhaps, a land issue (though going somewhere where nobody will ever find you is still not impossible), it is quite possible to grow all your own food, make your own clothes, and so forth.
If you mean basic skills for life in Western Capitalist society, i.e. making money (which in turn defines social status and often romantic success, regrettably) this is still achievable, indeed, this guy did it.
All in all that was not a very thought out thing to say.
kate 1-25-2008 @ 2:45PM
Wow, what an incredible idea! It's so true that no matter how "progressive" we may be, we all harbor prejudices. How beautiful that he's devoted his life to promoting tolerance...and shame on the parents who were so narrow-minded that they wouldn't allow their children to hear his message. Those are the kids who need it the most, along with their parents!
Reply
Meagan 1-25-2008 @ 2:54PM
Good for him. I agree that his message is more likely to be well received by this guy than a man in a suit, but not really for the same reasons. I remember listening to motivational speakers as a kid and just tuning them out... being lectured by just another adult... The fact that this guy is covered in tattoos, while it might lead parents to judge him, is likely to give him some cool points with kids. He'll sound more sincere since he's not "normal" looking. I certainly would have listened more closely to a guy who isn't afraid to look different.
Reply
Monica 1-25-2008 @ 3:02PM
He's not teaching them to expect tolerance from others, but to practice it themselves. A totally different lesson.
Reply
Mel 1-25-2008 @ 3:04PM
Kate, I'm neither white nor blue-eyed, though I am currently blonde. Please don't get hysterical and hyperbolic.
Acceptance is great when the accepted behavior/appearance is either naturally occurring or not so aberrant as to be freakish.
Reply
kate 1-25-2008 @ 3:44PM
Wait a minute...you said you not white but are "currently" blond. Is that "naturally occurring"? I certainly hope so.
Thank goodness we live in a society where we don't have to all look alike or be alike or even THINK alike. And I'll spend the rest of my life defending anyone's right to get tatoos, pierce whatever they want, LOVE whoever they want or even dye their hair blond. =)
Mel 1-25-2008 @ 3:52PM
I knew you would jump on that, which is why I specifically stated" "naturally occurring OR not so aberrant as to be freakish." It's one thing for me to dye my hair a color which occurs in nature's own hair colors; it would be quite another for me to dye it, say, lavendar.
Reply
Mel 1-25-2008 @ 4:01PM
Kate, I think this calls for further discussion, even if its peripheral to the original issue.
Women tend to wear makeup which enhances and deepens their own natural colors. Light browny-pink lipstick and nails are more appropriate for a job interview than, say, deep purple lips and auburn nails. Similarly, thin black/dark brown eyeliner is easier to swallow than sky-blue liner. Not that these colors are automatically off-limits; indeed, they have their time and place. But this demonstrates that there is a continuum for "mainstream" and "non-mainstream" appearances.
Reply
kate 1-25-2008 @ 4:04PM
Mel, I gotta tell you: if you're non-white but have blond hair, that is NOT "naturally occurring".
Meagan 1-25-2008 @ 5:01PM
Kate, you are wasting your time. Mel's been egging people on for the last two days.
Reply
Meagan 1-25-2008 @ 5:10PM
Although, as far as her point goes, I think she was trying to say that while her hair may not be a naturally occurring color it IS part of the mainstream popular color, and therefor acceptable.
I don't agree with her about what should be tolerated, but I think that's what she's saying. Mel, if that's not what you're saying, I apologize for putting words in your mouth... I'm also sorry for my snippy comment. I disagree with you... vehemently, but that doesn't actually give me the right to single you out.
Reply
kate 1-25-2008 @ 5:28PM
Meagan, you're right, I shouldn't have participated with Mel. I just wanted to try to understand why people like that are so afraid (because that's what it is, is fear) of others who are "different". Think of all the "normal" looking people who turn out to be serial killers!
I personally believe that people should be judged by their actions, NOT by their PERSONAL choices regarding piercing, tatoos or lavendar hair. And I'll raise my daughter to look beyond people's appearance.
(and by the way, I'm about as conventional looking as you can get; a fact I'm not necessarily proud of...)
SKL 1-25-2008 @ 10:34PM
Well, I gotta say that guy's job opportunities are severely limited. You can argue all day about whether that SHOULD be the case, but it is the truth, and I hope nobody is trying to tell kids otherwise, or that it doesn't matter. Employability is one of the highest priorities for our youth, and it bugs me when people talk like that's just a minor detail. Maybe those people will be proud someday when their child is practicing "equal opportunity" begging / stealing.
That said, I agree we need to ensure kids don't grow up so ignorant that they feel threatened by differences. If that were not happening, I believe we wouldn't be having this discussion.
Reply
ninainindia 1-25-2008 @ 11:33PM
I agree, it is good to talk to children about accepting people that are different but this man has altered his appearance to a point that he will not be able to get a job. That is not a good example for children.
G42 2-14-2008 @ 7:04AM
SKL,
Sadly today there is almost unlimited 'work' for The Scary Guy.
There is so much prejudice, anger, hate and violence on the planet.
You're right about the 'employment' bit though. There is ZERO money in teaching about Love and Acceptance.
All the money is in Hate and Violence or in trying to 'control' it.
Do you understand what it is that The Scary Guy teaches?
Are you basing all your thoughts and comments about him on the article?
Which part of the article talks about 'employability' and what makes you 'assume' he regards that as a 'minor issue'?
Do you think Parents are judging him based on his looks?
Are you judging him because of the way he looks?
As an Attorney, I would have thought you would gather all the facts before making a decision; or am I judging you?
SKL 2-14-2008 @ 8:16AM
G42, yes, you are judging me, based on your own assumptions. I never said this guy considers employment a minor issue. I said some people act like it is. I was referring to people who believe educational policy should be influenced more by "humanity" stuff than by the stuff that enables humanity to support itself by working rather than taking from / harming others. Like, perhaps, the people who hired "scary guy" and those who think all other schools should do the same. I never said or implied that the "scary guy" was one of those people. Though it's possible he is.
And no, I am not judging the "scary guy" at all. It is a simple fact that there are very few employers who would offer a job to someone who has CHOSEN to disfigure himself in that manner. I have not said whether that judgment is right or wrong, only that it matters, because employability matters.
There's a difference between judging people for the way God made them, and judging their own conscious choices. He knew when he decided to get tattoos and piercings all over his face that he was going to limit his job prospects (and lots of other kinds of prospects), and he was obviously OK with that at the time he made the decision. Fine, but my concern is with how this example will impact young people, who don't always make such decisions with a full understanding of the lifelong consequences. The decision of the school to present this guy must at least be counterbalanced with a reality check about how the decision to make oneself radically different will impact all aspects of one's adult life.
And by the way, "scary guy" showed that he also judges people when he implied a message of tolerance can't be delivered as well by someone in a suit.
Meagan 1-25-2008 @ 11:30PM
SKL, I agree that the guy isn't particularly employable... so it's fortunate that he's made a career for himself as a motivational speaker!
Of course that's obviously not going to work for everyone. I don't think his point is really to say, "hey you should go out of your way to be different, just like me," so much as it is to say, "its OK to be different." He's using his out there looks to shake kids up, and it sounds like he's doing a good job of it.
Though if kids are going home from the seminar and saying, "hey mom I wanna get my face tattooed, and the motivational speaker at school says it's ok," that might explain why some parents are protesting. I sort of doubt that's the issue though, I suspect some parents just don't give him a chance.
Reply