Should I stay or should I go?
Categories: Toddlers, Development
Riley's current nap schedule has him going to sleep around 12:30-1 PM, and staying down for a good two hours. This is when I typically contemplate the various chores I need to do, before eating half a bag of Cheetos and passing out in a pile of cheez-scented drool.For that visual, you are welcome.
He's pretty consistent with the amount of time he sleeps -- it's almost always two hours exactly -- but every now and then I'll look at the clock (from my prone, saliva-laden position on the couch) and think, hmmmm. If it's been two and a half hours, I start thinking about whether or not I need to go in there. If it's creeping up on three hours, I get the ultimate Mother's Conundrum: wake the peacefully slumbering toddler, or enjoy every last second of blissful silence?
I suppose there are two schools of thought about a kid who takes a longer nap than normal (all other things being equal, meaning no illnesses at hand or extra-vigorous physical activity): 1) for whatever reason, his internal wakeup alarm failed and letting him sleep is going to screw up his bedtime, or 2) he's more tired than usual and needs the rest.
I tend to get paranoid about messing up his bedtime, so on those rare occasions when he stays crashed out much past that two hour mark, I go in and wake him. But man, I always feel kind of like a jackass doing it. You know that saying, let sleeping dogs lie? Yeah.
What do you do in those situations? Let your kid sleep as long as they like, or go in and wake them up?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
SKL 1-31-2008 @ 10:40AM
My rule of thumb is (a) don't let them sleep more than an hour extra, and (b) don't let them wake up after it's dark outside. Other than that, if their body says it needs a longer nap, I'm all for it.
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Aaron 1-31-2008 @ 10:52AM
I usually let them sleep an extra 30-45 minutes if they aren't sick or siped out from extra physical activity earlier in the day. I also never let them sleep so much that they wake up when it is dark. The few times that I have let them sleep excessively until they wake on their own have ended in blown sleep schedules, cranky kids and even crankier parents. However, every child is different. YOu just have to experiment to see what your child liks best (and re-evaluate avery 6 months or so, they change too, those rascally kids).
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mj12 1-31-2008 @ 10:56AM
I give mine an extra 1/2 hour, then I open her bedroom door to let the sounds of the house slowly bring her to life. If she is truley wiped out opening the door makes no difference and she sleeps away. In those cases I let her go for another 1/2 hour to 45 minutes then I start working on waking her up as slowly as possible. Otherwise I'm in for a very irritated toddler for the rest of the day. But most of the time opening the door does the trick and she usually shuffles out of her room within 15 minutes.
When I open the door I am sure not to vacuum or do any other very loud activity, that would be just mean.
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SKL 1-31-2008 @ 11:02AM
My rule of thumb is (a) don't let them sleep more than an hour extra, and (b) don't let them wake up after it's dark outside. Other than that, if their body says it needs a longer nap, I'm all for it.
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SleepyNita 1-31-2008 @ 11:06AM
The Dictator can be counted on to take at least a 2 hour if not 3 hour nap daily. I never let him sleep past 5pm (which would be 3.5 hours) regardless of when he went down because it gets dark here that early.
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Erin - ExpectingExecutive 1-31-2008 @ 11:24AM
I let my son sleep. He doesn't sleep like that often but when he does, I figure he probably needs the rest. My old grandma used to say "children grow when they sleep". It may or may not be true, but I can always hear her say that when I am deciding if I should wake him up.
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Bunny 1-31-2008 @ 11:35AM
I let mine sleep as long as they want up until about 4 or 4:30. Then I wake them up. We eat dinner around 5 and then it's bath and bed by 7-8, so that way I don't mess with bedtime too much.
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isisaquaria 1-31-2008 @ 3:09PM
if they sleep until 4:30, sitting down @ five behaving as children should @ dinner, that must be one heck of of tub party to have them in bed by 7-8. (lol)
Ethel 1-31-2008 @ 11:47AM
I let them sleep, either they're growing or they're getting sick, and regardless they need the sleep. I have found with my older and younger that when they take longer naps getting them to bed on time at night is no problem, they'll need that sleep too. The only time I might interfere is when I need to put one or the other in the room for their nap. Someday, probably soon, they'll once again nap at that same time and then I will have some glorious time alone again to drink coffee and eat chocolate without having to share.... (After picking up and starting a load of laundry of course).
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Jill 1-31-2008 @ 12:54PM
I'll let him sleep an extra half hour, but I've found that if I wake my son after an hour and a half, he wakes up cheerful, and if I wake him after two hours, he is so horrible I wish I hadn't woken him at all. Our doctor says I've let him get into a deeper level of sleep (as he does at night) and that shorter naps are better (at least for him). I never let him sleep past 4:30 (7:30 bedtime).
So, I'd evaluate Riley's mood on days when he sleeps longer. Does that extra free time come back to bite you? Does he seem more refreshed with the extra sleep? Does he fall asleep at bedtime alright? If it isn't hurting in any way (crabbiness, wakefulness) then I'd assume it is helping him in some way and that he must need it.
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isis 1-31-2008 @ 3:58PM
Just curious, what time does your child get up? I am noticing an mass exdous for a 7:30 or approx bedtime. We would have no cultural exposure(ballet etc) with a bedtime that early.
aimee 1-31-2008 @ 1:07PM
Oh I definitely let him sleep! I do open the door at about 2.5 hours and then he'll almost always wake up within about a half hour. Sometimes I've opened the door to find him just laying there quietly with his eyes open then I am able to just hang out in his room a bit (putting clothes away, etc.) as he fully wakes up.
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isisaquaria 1-31-2008 @ 2:21PM
My girls phased out naps by 18-24mo. The counter to that was a 30 min increase in night time sleep. But when they did nap-past 12mo never more than an hr and I put them down @10a-up @ 11 for lunch--we have never encountered a sleepless night.
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Eva 1-31-2008 @ 2:56PM
I usually won't let it go past two hours, and it also depends on the time of day. If it's a late nap, I certainly don't need her sleeping so late she won't want to go to bed at bedtime.
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Jennifer 1-31-2008 @ 3:54PM
I let my stepson sleep. He usually doesn't go past 2.5 to 3 hours, but if he does then I usually open the door (like mentioned above) and let the house sounds wake him up. I've put him down for a late nap before (3 or 4 pm) and he's slept through til the next morning before. And he wasn't sick. I did check on him frequently..but he was just plain ol' tired. :)
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Kim 1-31-2008 @ 3:54PM
Ironically, I'm here surfing the web for that exact reason -- my 21mo. old and 3mo. old are (can you believe it?!) both napping and the elder has been asleep entirely too long.
Aside from employing the passive-agressive techinques already mentioned here (opening the door. . . turning on the hall lights. . . making a real racket banging things around in the bathroom), I find I can't really enjoy that extra time since I'm agonizing over "the right thing to do."
I've found the easiest solution to be sneaking an extra nap myself. That always seems to wake everyone up within 5 minutes.
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isisaquaria 1-31-2008 @ 4:03PM
Anytime mom needs anything, you can count on an internal alarm that all kids have
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isis 1-31-2008 @ 4:08PM
sorry- wrong term meant to say "mass gathering toward"
--that's what I get for typing here and editing newletters @ the same time
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Jill 2-01-2008 @ 7:53AM
My son is almost four years old. He naps 1 1/2 hrs, goes to bed at 7:30 and wakes up at about 6:45. We have to be up weekdays, but he wakes then on weekends too. He knows he can play if he closes the door so we can keep sleeping-- and he's finally gotten the hang of it. He doesn't always fall asleep quickly at bedtime, but he isn't allowed to get up so I'm not actually sure how long he lays there.
His brother (age 6) is a sleeper and has the same bedtime, no nap, and can sleep later especially on weekends. My younger son was not a natural sleeper. I worked incredibly hard his first years to get this pattern. I feel like I earned it and it was not easy.
Amanda 1-31-2008 @ 4:10PM
KIM! that is soooooooo funny, but true. I think all the pillows in our house have alarms that only my babies can hear during nap time. because as soon as I try to take a nap too?! here they come!!
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