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Should I stay or should I go?
Filed under: Toddlers Preschoolers, Development/Milestones: Babies, Bedtime
Riley's current nap schedule has him going to sleep around 12:30-1 PM, and staying down for a good two hours. This is when I typically contemplate the various chores I need to do, before eating half a bag of Cheetos and passing out in a pile of cheez-scented drool.For that visual, you are welcome.
He's pretty consistent with the amount of time he sleeps -- it's almost always two hours exactly -- but every now and then I'll look at the clock (from my prone, saliva-laden position on the couch) and think, hmmmm. If it's been two and a half hours, I start thinking about whether or not I need to go in there. If it's creeping up on three hours, I get the ultimate Mother's Conundrum: wake the peacefully slumbering toddler, or enjoy every last second of blissful silence?
I suppose there are two schools of thought about a kid who takes a longer nap than normal (all other things being equal, meaning no illnesses at hand or extra-vigorous physical activity): 1) for whatever reason, his internal wakeup alarm failed and letting him sleep is going to screw up his bedtime, or 2) he's more tired than usual and needs the rest.
I tend to get paranoid about messing up his bedtime, so on those rare occasions when he stays crashed out much past that two hour mark, I go in and wake him. But man, I always feel kind of like a jackass doing it. You know that saying, let sleeping dogs lie? Yeah.
What do you do in those situations? Let your kid sleep as long as they like, or go in and wake them up?











ReaderComments (Page 2 of 2)
1-31-2008 @ 4:55PM
TwoMoreMonths said...Isis,
My 21 month old is in bed by 7:30pm and is usually up by 7 or 7:30 am. She's up by that time no matter what time she goes to bed! If she gets to bed later than her usual time, she's just a cranky mess until her naptime.
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1-31-2008 @ 6:04PM
isisaquaria said...Wow, I am shocked. Nothing against your choices-just flabbergasted at that early bedtime- and such late awakening. I guess we are not sleepers around here. Even when sick, we really don't sleep. At 21 mo, my oldest was in bed at 9 but up by 5, the younger one did close to that but 6hrs a night was ave. I didn't wake them in the morning--(they used the eyelash method--pull on mommy's eyelashes til she jumps up and chases me down to tickle me until her eyes quit watering from pain) I limited the nap and got rid of it so early because of the sleep times they have were getting restless at night. If nap day, they slept okay...without nap, you could build a addition on to the house and they wouldn't move. My older one is still like that--until the boyfriend calls...not just a ring, but her boyfriends voice as the ringtone. Absolutely amazing...
1-31-2008 @ 5:25PM
Carrie said...My 28 month old always does a three hour stint at home (only 2 when shes at daycare). I let her sleep until she wakes up and I often wonder if it screws with her bedtime. But generally she has no issues and is in bed by 8. I'd probably wake her up...but
a. I like the quiet.
b. If I am napping I sleep until I get woken...so I'm not awake to wake her up!
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2-01-2008 @ 10:51AM
isisaquaria said...When did daycare start letting them sleep that long..most people who use daycare around here complain over more than an hr for 2-3 yr olds---The school (the older child's) has that age in classes -nap is after lunch--30 min for clean-up.
2-01-2008 @ 9:22AM
isisaquaria said...Wow, we would have no life....soccer @ 6:30 (1hr) and drive time--we are not home before 8. Dance for the 5yr old--two yrs @7:00 p (1hr class lessons-2 days a week/private lesson from 6-8 1 day a week) Girl Scouts 5-6, same night as soccer(12 yr old playing in 7th yr)---and what about movies, musicals, plays, ballets, talent shows, boyfriends baseball games, pro baseball games, science fairs, etc and then there is family time (dinners or Sunday Brunches) There is no way we could pull any of it off on the schedules I see here--I do not know how you do it...but to each there own.
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2-01-2008 @ 12:24PM
Carrie said...Isis,
You sound a bit bitter. Trust me we still have a life. You have to remember that our kids are a lot younger then yours. Fortunately I'm home with my 2 kids so we can do the activities that we need to do in the morning. Really what activities do the 3 and under crowd need to do? We eat supper around 5:30-6 ish. And still have time to spend together with Daddy until bath and bed.
To me the most important thing is quality time. We make dinner a priority. No matter what we are all at the table together. I'd rather have that then have my kids in activites 3-4 nights a week. But as you said to each their own. We do a lot of stuff together on weekends.
I live in Canada and the daycare my daughter is in has a 2 hour nap period 12:30-2:30. She is in the toddler room...12 months-2 1/2 yrs. I'm not sure what the nap will be once she hits 2 1/2 and goes to the preschool room. But we've taken her out of daycare as of this week. There is no way I'm yanking her nap out from under her yet. The 2 times she didn't want to nap she was a miserable beast for the rest of the day and conked out at 6pm!
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2-01-2008 @ 1:08PM
isisaquaria said...Not bitter at all---utterly blown away @ the times people put the kids down. Even when they were younger, we did things--kids museums, zoos, aquariums, plays--things they could do even before they could walk. I can not imagine not doing those things. Nothing can replace the memories of my 12 yr old @18mo getting to hold a sea urchin, or getting kissed by a dolphin.
2-01-2008 @ 2:15PM
SKL said...Isis, your emphasis seems to be on things that YOU will remember but your kids will not. I agree that enrichment activities are great for kids of all ages, but I don't foresee taking my kids to the ballet before they are out of diapers. I think a lot of stay-at-home moms are able to work activities into other parts of the day, while kids who atted day care get a lot of enrichment activities there. For many of us, it's more important that the evening routine be stable and calm. Some time for quiet contemplation is at least as important as sensory stimulation.
My kids normally sleep 12 hours at night (8:30 to 8:30) and have a 3 hour nap. We do go out at least a couple times a week, and sometimes we get home later than 8:30, but they are pretty flexible, as long as we don't make a habit of it.
My daughter slept 6 hours straight when she was a couple of weeks old. That may be unusual, but I think it's fairly typical that tots are able to sleep 10-12 hours plus a nap.
2-01-2008 @ 3:12PM
isisaquaria said...I remember more than they do @ that age yes, but they do recall things for short periods of time, and we do things multiple times--I can not tell you how proud they were in the moment and how much enjoyment they had during those times--exposure at young ages is vital to opening the mind later. I heard about the "dopins" for months and so did everyone we visited, everytime a dolphin was on tv-she stopped, she listened, she learned more, and she shared. Now, she has an understanding most kids her age do not have. The same goes for the little one.
We have dinner together everynight. The crock pot is amazing for this or an electric roaster. We do attend dinner parties or dinner theater when attached to a musical etc. We often eat either before classes or after practices--everything my kids do, they ask to do...yes even dance @two (sister did it).
I am so suprised because I personally know no one who puts the kids down that early. The kids in all these activities hang together so I guess that is why.
To SKL, maybe not the ballet--but plays, Disney on Ice was a common one at 12 mo. For girls--highly suggest--Princesses on Ice, but dress warm.
They go up fast though--my next outing is 5 pre-teens and Avril Lavigne. Luckily, I actually like her music.
I guess I'll sleep when I'm dead...I have too much to see and do
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2-01-2008 @ 7:51PM
Carrie said...Agreed SKL. 10-12 hours a night. Plus nap. That is pretty much normal per guidelines. I don't know many people here who would keep a toddler up past 8. And I'm sure most working families don't enjoy running around after 8 after they've been working all day. I'm sure they'd much rather get down on the floor and hold their children. And enjoy them as opposed to shuttling all over the place chatting thru the back of their heads.
I unfortunately do not have the money for ballet and things like that. But we have done things with my daughter that she talks about forever. They don't cost alot of money and they don't keep her up past 8.
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