Living with a toddler: the constant clean up

I put both my two yr olds in time out when she refused to help. Why not--they made the mess..I will help, but so will they.

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I have by no means "given up" on discipline but I do not know what my child will and will not respond to. And for Nicole, you are right, sometimes having them help you out only creates more chaos and problems and it is quicker and easier and LESS STRESSFUL after you have worked all day in an office full of adult toddlers to just pick it up yourself and be done with it. Save the helping games and bribes for when you have extra time. Which I am sure many of us do not.

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Sarah- Just leave everything Wito takes out during the day, and then see what your husband says when he gets home.

I was making myself crazy by trying to keep the house clean during the day with a toddler. So, we'll do a quick tidy before lunch and then right before bed. We also have a rule that one toy has to be put away before the other one comes out. This applies only to things with lots of pieces (legos, blocks, Mr. Potato Head), or mess making potential (crayons, play-doh, or paints). My 2 1/2 year old does understand that, and even will start to put something away (most of the time) before asking to play with something else.

I have yet to find a method for stopping her from pulling books off of her bookshelves. The books are currently in a box in my closet because I was so sick of picking them up. My husband laughed at this and said, 'Wow, a librarian taking books away from her child. I can taste the irony'.

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My girls, now age 12 and 5, began helping before they could walk.

First of all, we had boundaries. No toys outside bedrooms and then the playroom (we built one into our house--later it will be a study area).

Secondly, as soon as they can grasp and lift--they can help. We had blocks. (mega blocks-large bags) There are 5 colors. I would pile them up, sit down w/my girls, and we would sort by colors and count. They learn and they clean. Same for Little People toys.

You adjust levels based on need and growth. When the girls got old enough, we taught them to put things away when they moved on to something else.

If you have an issue with neatness (as i do) when they go to bed-fix it. But I found that storage bins make excellent boxes. We put a photo of blocks on one, stuffed toys on another, baby dolls, dress-up etc. I can shut the lid and the room is clean.

We judged punishment based on age and behavior. Once we knew they could do it-if they chose not to-trash can cleaning occurs.

Do things escape boundaries, occassionally. If it happens-redirect. If you see a toy, but no child--call the child to come get it.

Now, we all have our own rooms to clean. Everyone has a bathroom to themselves--You do not pick it up, it will sit or come up missing. There are occassions that I do pick up after the girls (homework run rampant, illness) but there is not usually much to do then.

I am not the maid, and if everyone does their part--we have more fun time together.

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I have two words for all of you!!!!
MARDIGRAS BEADS
tons and tons and tons of mardigras beads

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Isis:
My child is not a discipline problem, she is just simply stubborn. Sounded like a judgement to me with what you wrote but I could be wrong. We all have our mountains to climb and bridges to cross with our children at any age, 12 months, 2 years, 3 years, 5 years, etc. Every child learns and expresses themselves in different ways at different ages and stages. We cannot go by "books" or "rules" for every child, that is what makes them different and unique. It is great that your method works for you and your children but please do not pass judgement upon any of us parents who are having trouble with ours because of our parenting styles, skills or ages of our children.
Isn't this site supose to be used to help parents get advise and help from other parents? Not to chime in to tell them what is wrong with their parenting skills, their children or their husbands... I believe the original blogger asked simply if any other parents had the same issue and now it has turned into telling people how to treat their husbands and criticizing why they pick up after their husbands and children and why we let our children get away with things and why have we "given up" on parenting???? Is everyone else out there a perfect parent and spouse?
If I remember correctly, my grandmother spent her entire marriage caring for and picking up after her husband and took on 100% of the children responsibilities and they were married happily for 53 years until he passed, that is pretty good odds to me. Especially when we live in a day and age where if you make it to 10 years of marriage you feel like you have hit the golden anniversary. If someone wants to pick up after their husband to save time and hassle, GO FOR IT. If you would rather pick up after your kids instead of going thru 50 games, tricks and bribes just to get it done and get on with your life, GO FOR IT.
I work 45 hours a week, am a single mom so I have to take care of EVERYTHING, I take out the trash, I do the laundry, I pay the bills, I make all the money, I take and pick my daughter up from school and help out being a part time room mom to her class in daycare, I take care of her 100% by myself so forgive me if she is 3 1/2 and has not learned the fine art of cleaning the house. I would rather enjoy every minute I can with her playing, snuggling and talking with her rather than putting a dustpan and wash rag to her hands to have her clean the house.

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My girls are pretty young so I while I'm teaching them to put things back, it is not a matter for discipline yet.

What I do is plan ahead to limit the amount of havoc they can wreak.

They have a "superyard" that contains the majority of their toys, and they also have toys outside the superyard. The toys with small pieces stay in the superyard except when I feel up to dealing with them spread around. When I need to keep things under control, I strategically keep only the easy-to-pick-up stuff out of the superyard, e.g., the riding toys, a few dolls, their toy computers that stay on a low table, etc. Usually I don't allow toys to be dragged into the kitchen or living room. They are allowed to dig in a couple of cabinets in the kitchen and bins in their bedroom, but there is only limited mess they can make with that.

When they are in the superyard, it is very easy to keep the rest of the house neat. When they are out and about, I can straighten up the superyard, which I do once every day or two, just to avoid getting the girls used to total chaos.

So I would say I spend less than five or ten minutes a day cleaning up after my kids.

When my sister was a tot, she had a babysitter who was such a clean freak, she literally didn't let her take her toys out to play because "I just cleaned that area." Instead she would have her sit and watch the afternoon soaps with her. Personally I think a little clutter can't hurt and it's a lot better than restricting healthy play. A minute or two after the kids go to sleep is all it takes to bring us back to adult-land. (Not that the adults around here are all that tidy either.)

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It was a matter of seeing a possible problem--not judging--I offered what I did-

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all i want to say is wow to all of the above.

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I haven't read all the comments, but I was just going to say that if your husband doesn't believe you, just *don't do it* for one day. Whoa!

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Totally off topic, but where did you get those baskets? Love them!

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Thanks! One of my husband's clients gave them to us - unfortunately, I have no idea where they are from.

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check @ bed and bath type stores--i have similar ones in my laundry room for clothes and I got them @ Bed, Bath and Beyond

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you are totally right I clean up the same stuff every single day and everyone thinks you sit on the cough eating junk and watching soaps, but the truth is if you do not work from sunrise to sunset your house is a mess then when everyone gets home you have homework,baths, and dinner a mother job is never done, thanks cris mother of a 4year old, a 6year old, a 8 year old and the biggest baby of all my husband 35 years old

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I wish I had a dollar for everytime that a friend asks what I'm doing when they call on the phone and my reply is, "Picking up."

Sometimes I feel that I meet myself coming with armloads of stuff to put up; laundry as well as toys.

Jan from http://www.unique-baby-gear-ideas.com/

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