The Love List

Filed under: Alcohol & Drugs, That's Entertainment, Sex

It's not often that I'm able to catch Oprah. (Shocking I know! A SAHM doesn't watch Oprah and eat bonbons every day at 4 pm?) But sometimes nap schedules align and I get a moment to find out what's happening at Harpo Studios.

Wednesday's show was about how changing your thinking could change your life. Martha Beck was on the show discussing Alice Gorman's article in O Magazine called "The Love List".

I have to tell you that I believe in the Love List concept, because it worked for me. About 12 years ago, I sat in a cafe with a girlfriend and wrote down a list of what I wanted in a longterm partner on the back of a business card. I kept that card in my wallet for years, forgetting about it, but taking it out every now and again to remind myself of what I wanted. Eventually, tired of dating what I called "One-Date Wonders," I made a resolution to stop dating and focus on myself. Then, two years later, I sat next to my friend Jan Anthony Silverthorne on a college bus trip and my resolution was axed. I had met my soulmate. In fact, he was right in front of me all that time.

The thing that got me through the years of dating losers (and the years of dating no one!) was a shirt I had with the slogan: If you want to find a needle in a haystack, go out, have fun, and it will find you. I believe that you need to spend each day living your life the best you can. Eventually that attitude will draw out the things that your heart truly desires.

If you're interested, I recommend reading Martha Beck's article on the subject. The key to the success of these lists, in Beck's words, "depends on the level of awareness from which you write it."

So what about you? Have your lists magically come true? Do you use lists to establish life goals? Or is it all just hokey garbage?

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Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.