Supplementing the guilt
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The thing is, it's working. She's finally sleeping eight-hour stretches. Meaning I'm finally sleeping too! So why do I feel so awful?
I come from a family of allergies. My mother has asthma, my father eczema and my sister arthritis. As a result, breastfeeding exclusively was something I was psychotic about with my first born. But my two kids are SO different. My son needed to fall asleep at the breast forever. My daughter wants to be completely on her own to sleep. My son is still a meager eater. My daughter is as hungry as an ox.
When she nurses my boobs deflate from overwhelming D cups to saggy A/B cups in 15 minutes. I used to scoff at mothers who claimed they couldn't make enough milk. Now I'm beginning to understand. It could be that she's ready to try solids, but with our family history of allergies, I'd like to wait a bit longer.
I keep reminding myself that my motherhood mantra is "You do what works for your family." This new technique is working. My husband is bonding with our daughter, while I have the ability to give my son some one-on-one time. Plus everyone is waking up rested and smiling. Surely I shouldn't be in knots over four ounces of formula? Still I can't help feeling deflated like my breasts. But the alternative is feeling tapped out -- in more ways than one.
What have your breastfeeding experiences been like? Were/are you able to follow the recommendations of the WHO and the pediatric associations and breastfeed exclusively for six-months?
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