Transgenderism and school

>>> "then why do most of the gay men I know (women too) say they knew they were gay--even if they didn't know the word for it"

I'm pretty sure you're taking this as read and that this is rhetorical, however ...

They aren't an unbiased observer.

A. When they were young they were themself
B. They still are themself
C. They are homosexual and that is part of themself

Therefore, they perceive that they were always homosexual because they perceive their self to remain constant.

My belief is that we should define a persons sexuality by their sexual activity. Anything else seems to be prejudice. We don't (except for Jesus!) consider thinking about murdering someone as making us a murderer. Lust is not adultery, covetousness is not theft, etc..

People say it's not a choice, but ultimately we choose whether to act on a particular desire.

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This is a very complicated subject and one that can't be easily commented on here (at least for me). It is just way too complicated.

But I think if it were my child, I would probably think that 7/8 was too young to deal with it. I would likely remove my child from a traditional school environment and try to provide a place that was totally safe and secure while things worked themselves out...whatever direction that might be. I'd likely homeschool and seek out other people with similar situations. There are going to be so many difficulties for this child. I just think that I'd like to protect my child from many of those difficulties at this young age.

Of course, it is really only a guess at what I'd do.

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Yes, it's very complicated. But if people can know they are straight or gay at that age, then I can't see why they can't know if they are transgendered.

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Quote: " . . . there is a growing number of elementary school children who are transgender." WHY? And how do they know this? I think some people have too much time on their hands, and they are projecting their own adult emotions on kids. I believe making superficial changes on this basis for school kids is unhealthy.

When I was a kid, I wished I was a boy and could wear pants all the time, so I could climb on the monkey bars and such and walk down the hall without boys flipping up my skirt. Since the boys had all the adventurous toys, books, etc., and I was required to wear dresses to school every day, I was dissatisfied with what I then saw as my "gender." At age 7/8, I didn't have enough understanding of "gender" to consider whether I fell into one category or the other to have a gender identity in the way we think of it as adults. I have a hard time believing any boy under age 10 or 11 is even beginning to make this distinction.

Personally, regardless of how mature my kid's "sexual identity" was, I would make my son wear his pants to school and just get over it. Clothes don't make a person, and neither does the particular word with which he is addressed. That's the message his parents and teachers should be giving him - not that he is somehow going to find happiness by standing out among his peers as a result of superficial differences.

Whoever is pushing this issue for this kid is doing significant damage in my opinion.

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OK, actually the "quote" I quoted above, from the blogger's column, is a misquote from the article. The article actually says the quoted person is working with more parents regarding transgender kids. It doesn't mean there are more transgender kids, just more parents seeking help, which could mean it is less taboo or that more parents are thinking too much on this issue.

Personally I want to go back to the days when kids didn't approach their parents about this stuff. I still don't and my gender identity turned out just fine.

And I will never understand why this type of thing has any place in the schools. I really want my kids to learn some academics before they are 18, but my hopes fade more every day.

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I remember quite clearly Donna who was in all effects to the rest of her classmates in grade school, and effective boy. She chewed snuff (in AK it was a common occurrence for children to chew), she wore a baseball cap at all times, preferred very masculine male clothes (as opposed to gender neutral), played exclusively with boys, and in general was just male in all aspects - so much so she got in trouble for using the boys bathroom. Maybe I should call her a he and rename her Don.

Anyway, that was almost 30 years ago, and while it wasn't named it is and was very clear to me that was who she/he was. We didn't care, plus she was scary because he was rather tough besides - so he was who he was. I don't think anyone labeled him or discussed it, or frankly cared - that was who he was and he decided who he was not us. It seems to me that if us kids didn't care, maybe its only the adults who have issues with children being transgendered.

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It sounds like this family and school are doing everything they can to support this boy and bring him up in a warm and welcoming evironment which is VERY admirable. It can not be easy for them and I applaude their efforts. Kids can be so very cruel.

I grew up with, and was friends with, 2 gay girls. They both knew very young that they were attracted to girls and not the boys. 1 of them grew up in a wonderful family who supported her and now she is a healthy, happy productive member of the community. The other girl grew up in a family who shunned her when she finally tried to talk to them and unfortuanetly she is now in prison. I'm not saying the mere fact that her family turned her out made her choose a life of crime but I often wonder if she would have made different decisions growing up if her family would have supported her.

I am glad that it is now not the norm to turn our backs on children that express these sorts of feelings, telling them to "get over it". I think society as a whole will be much better off for it.

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Thoughts about this sort of thing always linger in the back of my mind. I always wonder about my own son, and if our future holds something like this story.
My son is genetically male, but was born without most of a penis, and his testicles are undersized and apparently non-functional (they also never descended on their own.) He also had a shallow "vaginal-like" opening. A blood test was necessary to determine gender.

The doctors told us that it is far more possible that he has a "female brain" than would be in the normal population. Without the proper balance of hormones during development, the brain defaults to female. We were given the choice of what to do about his genitals, and chose to reconstruct the penis. Fixing that as a baby allows one to grow naturally, something that can`t be done as an adult.
I figure if he doesn`t feel he`s a boy later on down the road, it`s much easier to remove something already there than to make something that isn`t. And if he does feel he`s male, then he`ll be grateful we had it done when we did.

I personally just want him to be himself - whatever that self may be. He`s definitely too early to show any signs of anything at 3, but it isn`t too early to think about the possibility. If he does feel different at a later age I want him to be able to tell me about it and to know he`ll have our support.

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pbhj: Accurately stated. I'm not sure why some people get so indignant at the notion that we don't have to act on every impulse.

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