Middle school valentines

Filed under: Teens, Day Care & Education

Recently, my son came home and told me that the school is selling carnations that will be delivered to students on Valentine's Day, that they are $2 each, and he wanted to buy 10.

Ten carnations? Why in the world would he want to buy 10 carnations? He told me that he has several friends who are girls and he wanted to give them a carnation for Valentine's Day. I thought giving 10 carnations was a bit excessive, and told him so. I tried to figure out if he's just giving out drive-by valentines in the hope that one of them will stick or if there might be one or two girls that he really likes and narrow it down.

I was also a bit annoyed that a middle school would do this on Valentine's Day, already starting the vicious cycle of making girls feel bad on Valentine's Day if they don't have someone give them a gift.

His answer showed me that he's either really good at working his mom or he has a sweet, considerate heart and is on his way to being a selfless, giving adult. He told me that he eats lunch with a group of friends, both boys and girls, and most of his female friends do not have boyfriends. When the sales were being conducted during the lunch hour, he felt bad for them that so many girls were bragging about getting carnations from various people. "I just want to make them smile, Mom, and have a Happy Valentine's Day because they're my friends." What female heart wouldn't melt at that reason? Either way, I'm now $20 poorer and 10 girls will be getting a carnation for Valentine's Day.

What are other middle schools doing for Valentine's Day? Am I overreacting by thinking that middle schools should not be encouraging kids to "pair up" or enabling behavior that will leave some girls feeling left out? Is this considered peer pressure or just an innocent way to enjoy the day?

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AdviceMama Says:
Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.