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Filed under: Places To Go, Medical Conditions
Janet Jackson has been happily unmarried to boyfriend Jermaine Dupri since 2002. And despite pressure from family and friends to tie the knot and make some babies, the pop star says she's not interested in walking down the aisle. "If it's [meant] to happen, it'll happen," she says. "I like where we are, and I'm happy where I am. I've done it twice before. I'm afraid I might be a jinx. I might be allergic to marriage."
And while the 41-year-old says she and Dupri both want kids some day, now is not the time. "I've got to get a little more kid out of me first before I move on and be childish with my child." But what about that biological clock? Let it tick, she says. "I get so much pressure .. even my mother mentioned something to me the other day," she says. "But now you can have your eggs frozen and there are all sorts of things you can do. I've still got time so I think I'm okay."
She's right, of course. There are all sorts of things 'older' women can do to help with conception later on in life. But if I were her and knew that I wanted children someday, I don't think I would feel comfortable waiting much longer. What about you? Did you or would you deliberately put off having children to the point where you knew that it was likely you would need some medical intervention in order to get pregnant?
And while the 41-year-old says she and Dupri both want kids some day, now is not the time. "I've got to get a little more kid out of me first before I move on and be childish with my child." But what about that biological clock? Let it tick, she says. "I get so much pressure .. even my mother mentioned something to me the other day," she says. "But now you can have your eggs frozen and there are all sorts of things you can do. I've still got time so I think I'm okay."
She's right, of course. There are all sorts of things 'older' women can do to help with conception later on in life. But if I were her and knew that I wanted children someday, I don't think I would feel comfortable waiting much longer. What about you? Did you or would you deliberately put off having children to the point where you knew that it was likely you would need some medical intervention in order to get pregnant?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 5)
2-13-2008 @ 10:33PM
bremarie03 said...Well, I'm 29, and had my third (and last) child 5 months ago. So I obviously wasn't comfortable waiting.
It kind of breaks my heart that some people don't know any better when it comes to fertility. They think, "If I can't get pregnant, I'll just get IVF!". They don't realize that IVF doesn't always equal baby in the end. Not even most of the time. I don't know exact numbers so I can't give any, but your odds get worse as you get older. Especially if you want to use your own eggs. The Hollywood actresses that have babies when they're 45? Dollars to donuts they're using donor eggs.
I think most of the population is undereducated and miseducated when it comes to fertility.
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2-17-2008 @ 1:17PM
bellatrue said...Not necessarily true... I had my first at 27, the next at 34, and the last two at 42 and 45 respectively. No problems, boring pgs, healthy, beautiful babies, yada yada. My ob said the reason MOST women don't conceive in their 40's is that they don't TRY, lol! In our society, it has been "2 and through at 32" - thamk GOD that isn't the case anymore. I come from a LONG line of good Irish Catholic stock, and we BREED, lolol! Mom had me at 43, me old Grandma had my dad at 47....! I realize this isn't rue for ALL, but a good portion CAN do this, and the kids are ok .
2-16-2008 @ 12:59PM
Jane said...Can I please remind everyone that there is nothing wrong with adoption? Millions of orphans and foster children in this country and around the world are in need of loving parents. It is so ignorant to just rush and have a child when you're not ready because you're afraid your eggs are too old. It makes no sense for women to be pressured to have kids they don't really want. It's not like you're buying something that you can return if you decide you no longer want it. Wait until you're ready, stop with this biological clock crap, and realize you CAN be a parent WHEN you want.
2-16-2008 @ 1:30PM
bremarie03 said...I don't know why you responded to me with this. I have nothing against adoption. I said nothing about having kids if you're not ready. I said nothing about having kids you don't want. I was addressing the misinformation about fertility that is so common. Yes, adoption is a valid choice if you want to be a parent. Having children with donor eggs and/or a surrogate is a valid choice if you want to be a parent. But having children that share your genes is also a valid choice, and if that is your choice, then you can't say "stop with this biological clock crap", because it just doesn't work that way. I repeat, if having biological children is your choice, time does matter. People, women especially, have limited time to reproduce. We may not like it, but that's the way it is.
2-14-2008 @ 9:01AM
moppityshoe said...I just think it's refreshing to see a celebrity not rushing into marriage only to get divorced two weeks later.
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2-17-2008 @ 7:22PM
heidi Jacobsen said...Exactly! Why rushed just to rush to get divorced again. if the man loves her it will last forever if tis meant to be.
2-16-2008 @ 7:00AM
Sharon said...I was 29 with the first, that was okay. I was 32 with the second. Still okay.
I was 39 with the third and that was not good. I've inherited many health problems from ancestors. They started to kick in right after this one was born. I was not able to be as good a parent with the last one.
Definitely can't recommend it for everyone.
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2-16-2008 @ 7:01AM
Sharon said...Another thing. The eggs get older too. This third child has a multitude of health problems.
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2-16-2008 @ 12:43PM
Jane said...The health problems of your child most likely have nothing to do with the age of the eggs, considering that it's what's in their DNA that matters, and their DNA is a combo of both you and the baby's father. Genetics is extremely complicated. Besides, 39 isn't even that old. And you have to remember there are 22 year old mothers that give birth to very sick children everyday.
2-16-2008 @ 7:47AM
dolores said...43 years old and celebrating my first baby shower today! People do not realize how difficult it is to get pregnant as you get older, even with IVF. It took me 4 years and 2 miscarriages. Now I'm in for the home stretch and extremely happy!
I would tell people in their early 30's to seriously consider NOT waiting! YOU CANNOT FREEZE YOUR EGGS ALONE, you can only freeze sperm and FERTILIZED (embryo) EGGS.
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2-16-2008 @ 12:27PM
Vicky :) said...MUST READ: Well, here is the truth about abortions, the pill, old age and pregnancy, since your friendly doctor most likely won't enlighten you, since he/she is in business to make money:
Being on the pill messes up a woman's eggs (it makes them very weak and fragile), besides numerous other really bad things that it does to a woman's body.
Having even one abortion can render a woman unable to bear a child (every woman that I know that had one is over 40 and CHILDLESS......not by choice, either).
Whether your doctor will admit it or not, after around 30, regardless of a woman'd health, a woman's chances of conceiving drop big-time.
Uh, IVF is reallllllllllllly effin' expensive (TENS of THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of dollars, and no guarantee it will even work anyway; puts your body through mental and physical hell, too), so all of that 'big money' that you were earning while you were putting off motherhood will really come in handy; hope you were saving it, because you are gonna need it if you give birth to 2 or 3 babies with common LIFELONG problems such as cerebral palsy, mild retardation, physical issues, Down's Syndrome and general 'failure to thrive'. Better hope your guy sticks around for all of the fun, too; stuff like this is not too easy on a marriage and we all know how marriages are these days anyway.
Now, think about it: do you REALLY want to chase a 2 year-old around at 44, and an out-of-control teenager when you are in your 60's or 70's? DO THE MATH. That's if you're lucky and they turn out healthy; how about changing diapers on your adult physically-challenged child?
The best thing a woman can do for her health and to have a healthy child is stay off the pill, not screw everything in sight and be super-particular about the guy she chooses. Truth. It works. I am 3-for-3 (no miscarriages and 3 healthy pregnancies with healthy babies), 42 years old and they are all in school, where they belong. :) Now I know people on here are going to bring up all of the exceptions......but I am talking about the rule. Do you want to increase your odds of having a child or not? Never bank on the exception!
Ask Connie Chung and Maury Povich how their IVF went.
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2-16-2008 @ 8:29AM
momofthree said...This post is full of misinformation about the pill and abortion, but the issues with waiting are all true. If children are a priority for you as a woman, you must plan that you will have them no later than your mid-thirties, so you will at least start trying to get pregnant when there is hope that it will work.
2-18-2008 @ 4:50PM
dawned8852 said...Vicky, while you are so perfect and "fertile"....I have to disagree with alot of your views that actually REALLY ticked me off!
You apparantly are very mis-informed! I have never been on the pill, DEFINITELY have never had an abortion (very pro-life), made my "to be" husband get tests before we were married (which of course he found hilarious at the time) and had both of my children before 30.
However, I had multiple miscarriages and I was married by 20 (so NO, I was not sleeping with everything in sight)
I also personally know 3 married couples who have gone through IVF which was their last hope. Two of the couples were successful and yes, they were older. Their children have absolutely NO lifelong disabilites. As a matter of fact, one couple has a daughter who is 18 months and can count to 100 in both English (my language) and Spanish! Pretty amazing, eh? AND THE PARENTS were over 35 when they gave birth.
There are ALOT of exceptions to YOUR rule, this coming from someone who has given up her "rights" to work in order to try to raise her children the correct way. Both of my children are also in school "where they belong" and have perfect attendance so far this year (can you say that for your 3???????)
You are apparently someone that God has blessed without struggles and should recognize and appreciate that (but obviously you don't because reading your last paragraph makes me ill)
Do NOT pass judgements because you are lucky. GOD is the only one to pass judgement!!!
2-16-2008 @ 11:23AM
Been there done that said...I dont know where you get your "facts" but you are way off! If you have a back alley abortion, yeah you probably risk infertility. However, I know many people who have had abortions and have gone on to have 2 or more healthy children. Naturally. You are entitled to have your opinions, but when you go spouting off what you think, in your narrow mind, to be facts, you only make yourself look ignorant.
Good luck to Janet!
2-16-2008 @ 8:17AM
Alf E Newbie said...What? Me worry?
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2-16-2008 @ 8:19AM
tom canavan said...Get real. If you are a man I urge you to get your sperm frozen and get a vasectomy so some woman that has no interest in you as a mate and only wants children for her own selfish reasons and to use you as a bank account can't do it. Take the power away from lying women and control your own life. Take the upper hand. If a woman wants children from you make her prove it by making her do whatever you want before you agree to pay for the kid forever and lose your testicles in the process. At least this way you can make a sober decision that will ruin your life because of one drunkien night of fun.
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2-16-2008 @ 12:48PM
Jane said...You have nothing to worry about, because no woman with a brain would want to have your child.
2-16-2008 @ 8:35AM
stacey said...Being that Janet is rich and with a rich man, I don't think it's much of an issue about her waiting to have children. I mean, she can afford the best doctors and health care, she can afford a nanny and nurses to take care of the child when it's born, she can afford the plastic surgeon to fix her body after the pregnancy, I mean, there isn't much she can't do. Even if her body gets too old, she could freeze her eggs now and get a surrogate for when she decides to be a mom. If all that fails, she can also adopt. She has a world of opportunities at her disposal that the average person can't, and get real, not many celebrities actually raise their own children, their hired help does. By the time I'm her age, I'll be looking forward to my kids getting married and having my grandchildren, which is the way I prefer it to be, but that doesn't mean it's right for everyone.
-mom of 2 by the age of 23 and am not planning on any more babies until my grandkids come along.
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2-16-2008 @ 8:59AM
Peachesfor2 said...I had my son when I was 40 years old. There's nothing wrong with waiting until you're ready!!!! My son is a healthy active child
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2-16-2008 @ 9:01AM
media wiz said...That is such crap Vicky. There are plenty of women who had abortions and have more than one grown healthy child. There are women who didn't marry until after 40 who have at least two healthy, beautiful children. There are women who never had abortions who contracted breast cancer. As for Janet Jackson...she's wealthy and in a position to do whatever she pleases without being beset by potential legal complications from a failed marriage.
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