Valentine's Day sexism

I was irate the day I graduated from high school, and not just because the principal stuttered on my name in disbelief. They gave all of the girls a long stemmed yellow rose, but the guys got nothing.

I agree - do one thing for both genders.

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Its not all in the raising. Our son will be four next week. He has never been discouraged from anything "feminine". He's been all about Dora since day one and has his whole room done in Dora (mostly pinks and purples) until Cars won his affections last year. However, school can change everything. He received a Disney princess Valentine's Day card from a friend this week and promptly brought it over to me -- "Mommy, this isn't for boys...", as if there had been some mistake. I attempted to get some explanation on why exactly it wasn't for boys, but the best he could do was to tell me, "Its a girls card". He didn't learn it at home. But, to be honest, Disney princess is even too girly for me, so I can hardly blame him!

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Roger, while I often agree, I think sometimes it is okay and even nice to celebrate your individuality.
I love to be extra feminine sometimes and get all dolled up in a dress with some bright pink shoes and all pink accessories, even though earlier today I just changed the oil in my car and rotated my own tires! (yes I do that) and, I love it when my grungy roughneck husband wears a pink shirt or a pink hat or something, I think it shows we are confident in our uniqueness(sp?). so, get over valentines day dude!! It will be okay and your kids are going to grow up to be well rounded individuals who are comfortable with who and how they are in spite of the valentines they gave out and/or received when they were 5!
:D

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Maybe this is another reason I'm not fond of the school environment.

Today at the store, for VDay, I let my sons pick out a few small things for themselves. My 22 mo picked a pink bear. Both picked balloons - one got Dora, and the other Strawberry Shortcake.

People think nothing of girls playing with cars, but boys will dolls are another thing completely. I refuse to go along with that - my sons can love their bears, cook in their kitchen, play with cars and trains, and have their toenails painted with green sparkles. I can't encourage them to participate in a group that would discourage any of that.

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I don't see the problem honestly. Do you think that if your child doesn't receive any pink valentines, he will be unable to be whoever he wants to be when he grows up?

Really, we way overdo our concerns about superficial things. While some people are overly concerned about making superficial distinctions, others are overly horrified when such a distinction is made. I always believed, and will teach my kids, that superficial things do not have any substantive import. If you like pink, blue, or snot green, that is fine, the national security does not ride on that. But if everyone else in school is going to taunt my child for giving a pink valentine to a boy, it is not my wee child's responsibility to take on that fight. We will give girl valentines to girls etc., or more likely, buy or make unisex valentines so it doesn't become an issue.

I'm more likely to get pissed off if, for example, my daughter is excluded from an activity because someone thought it was a "boy" activity (like I was excluded from taking karate when it was offered to boys in school, instead having to learn to dance to the song "We are Family").

On a related point, why are some people so afraid of the fact that girls and boys are DIFFERENT? Not in the way they dress or the things they can physically do, but in the way their brains are wired. On average, there are some things that boys naturally gravitate to more than girls and vice versa, and there is nothing wrong with acknowledging that. It concerns me that some parents are poised to stage a protest if, shock of shocks, their child spontaneously gravitates toward the stereotype for their gender. Just let them be who they will be, and don't be suspicious of their inclinations.

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If the boys freak, then let 'em freak. That's their problem.

My girls gave out princess valentines to everyone this year.

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I remember buying Valentines that matched MY likes, and giving them
to both girls and boys. My older kids did the same. No one seemed to
mind that Boys might get a My Little Pony Valentine from a girl, or a
girl might get one with Spiderman on it. No boys "freaked out" over
it, and no girls cried over it either. It would have seemed silly to
buy two boxes of Valentines when one had plenty for the whole class.

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I hoarded all my Star Wars Valentine cards.

I don't think it really matters either way. As a kid, I only kept/paid attention to Valentine Day cards that captured my interests or had chocolate taped to them. The rest ended up in the trash.

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We don't celebrate Valentine's Day, but I agree there is some sexism in the giving of valentines. I think that's more due to the way we celebrate it in school. You're not giving a specific person a valentine, just the generic boys and generic girls in your class, so you don't get accused of liking your secret crush.

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