TV as the babysitter: part 2
Categories: Money & work, Health & safety, Development, That's entertainment
I really hate it when parents get up on a high horse and make judgments about other people's parenting decisions, and I am mortified when I here one parent lambaste another for bottle feeding instead of breast feeding, or deciding to vaccinate, or not. So I have to say I was rather embarrassed that my post about TV as a babysitter came across just exactly that way. Oy.
I absolutely understand that many people need to have their children safely engaged while they do things like take shower or put a casserole in the oven. And I completely get that I'm blessed with a husband who a) works from home, b) does his fair share or more of the housework/food preparation, and c) is a hands-on and involved parent. In other words, I know I have it easy--compared at least to parents whose partners work extremely long hours or choose to think that it's their partner's job do everything child relate--though I do work ten hour days with kids, and come home regularly feeling like a piece of shredded meat. But that's another story.
Really, I wasn't trying to claim that I have it all figured out--though it may have come across that way. I can see where single moms--and I bow down to them, again and again and again for all the astounding and inconceivable work that they do day after day--might have no choice to rely on TV for a few minutes of downtime. And when it comes down to it, to each her own, is really the only way to go. I mean, who am I really to claim any which way is the way to go?
I guess the bottom line is that I wish more parents don't try to limit TV time in general. I see the negative affects of screen time regularly in the classroom. Kids these days are watching more television, playing more video games, and watching more movies than any generation of kids previous to them, and as a result they've forgotten how to play hopscotch and jump rope on the playground. No joke. Several of my first graders haven't the slightest idea what a jump rope rhyme might even be. None knew the rules for hopscotch when I asked.
So aside from the fact that I was surprised that more parents weren't selfishly grabbing some one-on-one time with their partners during time that their kids were tuned in to the screen, as a teacher I would be thrilled if every parent would limit the amount of time that their kid spends in front of the TV--especially when they're folding laundry or making dinner and their child could be meaningfully involved.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Eva 2-28-2008 @ 8:24PM
I found both posts well-stated.
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SKL 2-28-2008 @ 9:01PM
I think a big reason for both the increase in the use of indoor electronics (not TV per se - lots of us sat in front of it for hours each day 40 years ago) and the lack of outdoor-type culture is that people are afraid / unmotivated to let their kids go outside and play in the neighborhood. Now, to me, that's ten times more sad than seeing kids staring at the boob toob. Yet parents who allow outdoor free play are looked down on much more nowadays than those who allow daily TV. This is partly about safety, but safety doesn't really explain all of it. It's just another example of parents judging other parents for making different choices.
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SKL 2-28-2008 @ 9:01PM
I think a big reason for both the increase in the use of indoor electronics (not TV per se - lots of us sat in front of it for hours each day 40 years ago) and the lack of outdoor-type culture is that people are afraid / unmotivated to let their kids go outside and play in the neighborhood. Now, to me, that's ten times more sad than seeing kids staring at the boob toob. Yet parents who allow outdoor free play are looked down on much more nowadays than those who allow daily TV. This is partly about safety, but safety doesn't really explain all of it. It's just another example of parents judging other parents for making different choices.
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SKL 2-28-2008 @ 9:07PM
I think a big reason for both the increase in the use of indoor electronics (not TV per se - lots of us sat in front of it for hours each day 40 years ago) and the lack of outdoor-type culture is that people are afraid / unmotivated to let their kids go outside and play in the neighborhood. Now, to me, that's ten times more sad than seeing kids staring at the boob toob. Yet parents who allow outdoor free play are looked down on much more nowadays than those who allow daily TV. This is partly about safety, but safety doesn't really explain all of it. It's just another example of parents judging other parents for making different choices.
Not that hopscotch and jump rope are the be all and end all, but it's sad that kids don't seem to play anything of that nature today, to my knowledge. At least since I have two daughters close in age I can teach them to play these games, even if nobody else in the neighborhood knows them.
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Mark 2-28-2008 @ 9:12PM
I agree with part 1, and part 2.
My wife and I have twin boys, one year old. They don't watch TV now, and we intend on strictly limiting their exposure when they get older.
Rather than rely on the TV as a babysitter for a few minutes of downtime, we have a completely enclosed playpen with a large selection of toys. This allows them to play in a big enough area where we we know they are safe and can't come to harms way.
We originated from the UK (BBC = no adverts), and the TV here was so mind-jarringly painful we found it physically hard to watch and took us a few weeks to get acclimatized.
I can only imagine the ADD it is causing to children.
At the end of the day, to each their own. We can only do what we think is right for our own children.
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Sherry 2-28-2008 @ 10:12PM
As someone who was very offended by your first post I greatly appreciate you writing this and explaining what you meant more clearly and in a less judgemental way, even if I still don't entirely agree with you.
As for kids not knowing how to play hopscotch or jump rope, these are games that have to be taught. Even kids who never watch tv aren't going to magically know how to do these things if they are never shown these games. I am not sure that tv watching has anything to do with that particular example.
Also, to Mark, are you basically saying that you pen your kids up in a big cage because you prefer that to letting them view American tv? Truly, to each their own.
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Mark 2-29-2008 @ 10:10AM
Maybe I just fail to see the difference between a safe 10" X 10" area, and a less safe 10" x 10" room that has a TV, sofa, electrical appliances and all sorts of other hazards in it. I mean you're 100% confident that there is nothing they can get into while you're distracted cooking dinner or showering, right?
Surely if you're going to be leaving your child unattended for 10 mins while you shower, you'd want them to be as safe as possible.
I guess if you stick them in front of the TV though there's a fair chance they will still be sitting there with a morose look on their faces, hypnotised by the flashing & flickering screen, probably with drool running down their chin.
To each their own.
Shannon 2-28-2008 @ 11:04PM
Unfortunately, you chose to write your article in a way that came off very judgmental and even a bit hostile. I even found this follow up some what apologizing but at the same time making jabs at parents who do things differently than you. I think you could have made the same points with a much better delivery. I agree that there is too much tv time in most households. This is probably due in part to more children's programming being available 24/7. But I think the social dynamics of most homes have changed as well. But I also think that there could be much worse things going on in a household, if said tv viewing is appropriate. I have very fond memories of spending evenings watching tv with my parents. I don't think it has handicapped or dumbed me down in anyway.
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Messed Up Mama 2-29-2008 @ 12:48AM
My 5 year old son knows about playing Hopscotch BECAUSE he watched a TV program where children were playing it. He has also heard jump rope rhymes on TV.
All the neighbors on our block seem to have boys, most of them are much older than my son, most of them are also mostly Spanish speaking. He has learned some Spanish from them but he has also learned some from TV programs. (That sounds like he watches TV a lot, which he doesn't, it just happens that his favorite shows are bi-lingual)
I don't have to limit his TV watching because he will watch a few minutes, sometimes even a whole show (TV doesn't hold his attention like other things do), but then he wants to go play, or draw, or listen to his new CD and dance. His favorite games involve numbers and/or letters, pretending to be Daddy while I'm the baby, or he will be my sweet little kitten, and he loves his trains, having pretend conversations with them.
TV hasn't hurt him, in fact I think it's helped him. I don't, however, use the TV as a babysitter, he isn't interested enough in the programs for me to be able to do anything longer than 5 minutes before he would come and look for me.
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ame s 2-29-2008 @ 9:59AM
My girls are 8 and 10. They watched more t.v. when they were younger, Blues Clues and Sesame Street type shows, than they watch now. Rarely would they sit and watch the entire show. It must not have hurt them too much, because their I.Q.s are in the high 130's.
I did notice that they were watching a bit more than usual lately after we got a bigger set in the living room, so I keep it turned off. If they go upstairs to watch, they usually find something more interesting to do instead.
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Jessica 2-29-2008 @ 2:33PM
I appreciate your attempts to rectify the situation.
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Mamacita 2-29-2008 @ 3:14PM
Bear in mind also that parents of infants and very young children are often oversensitive and quick to see rebuke where none is intended. I was, most of you are, and parents will be world without end, amen.
We're insecure enough about the choices we make, and when that choice is debated and many sides are shown - most of them good - we tend to question ourselves and the choices we've made, and because those choices are about our children's welfare, we are sometimes far too quick to take offense when someone disagrees or simply has a different point of view, instead of reading/listening calmly and adding other points of view to our list of "think-abouts."
When our children are older, we usually look back at ourselves and laugh, and wonder how we could ever have taken such a trivial thing so seriously.
By the way, my children watched Mr. Rogers, Sesame Street, and Electric Company, and then it was 8:00 a.m. and the tv was turned off until the next morning's asscrack of dawn.
Me? I watched MASH at 3 a.m. And now I watch MASH and Scrubs on dvd. Both of my kids have been grown and on their own for years now, and while my daughter used to host a Buffy party every Tuesday night, since that show's been gone neither of my kids watches TV at all, except to rent a movie.
I showered and did laundry in our dank black hole of a cellar at night, when they were in bed.
I also used a large playpen if I had to run outside for any reason during the day. A large cage for a trapped child? Darn right. I valued their safety far more than I valued anybody else's opinion.
Do I care if YOU watch tv, or can't function with background noise coming from your tv, or let your kids watch hour after hour of tv? Nope. Although, if your child told me in the classroom that he/she was staying up till midnight every night watching Jerry Springer with Mommy, I'd probably call CPS on you.
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Heather 3-04-2008 @ 9:29AM
I don't think it is a matter of forgetting. Many schools have banned skipping ropes as they are a choking hazzard. My dd's school also banned tag because the children might fall and hurt themselves. There are no hopscotch boards and the kids couldn't use chalk to draw them because it might stain the pavement.
So my dd who is now 16 was not doing the activities that your kids would have picked up from see them in the playground. that is ow we all learned those rhymes and games, not from our parents but from the older kids at school.
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