The side effects of spanking

hm! that's interesting! I was spanked as a child and I have some issues with sex. however, I was also molested as a child, so maybe a combination of the two are the cause of my issues?
I very very rarely spank my kids, I hate the way I feel because I know that I can get through to them by talking

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I think these studies are always flawed because they include abuse in the term "spanking." I know people who were abused (as anyone normal would define it) as a child and of course that INCLUDED plenty of spanking, and they tended to have various problems. And in the spanking studies, guess what - all the abused people end up in the "were spanked" part of the study. Don't you think that skews things a bit unfairly?

A properly-administered spanking is no more traumatic than a lot of non-corporal punishments I've seen, and really can be a more effective discipline tool for some kids, though not all. Maybe if people were taught proper spanking philosophies instead of shamed into pretending that they never spank at all, the technique would actually be a lot more effective, on average, than it is. And maybe there would actually be less true abuse.

In school, I would prefer that they not hit my child, but I would want my child to believe it could happen if they do something to deserve it. In my state, it is permitted but very rarely used, especially in a classroom setting. I think that's the way it should be. Where I went to school, it was permitted AND used, and I received my share of swats from several teachers. Some teachers overused spanking - the one who hit me most (usually for being late to school or not handing my homework in) never physically hurt me, but that actually made me scornful of the whole process. The worst thing about being swatted in school is that it's embarrassing - especially because a witness is required. But, if the behavior justifies a punishment in school, the child frankly should be embarrassed. To avoid overuse of spanking by teachers, most schools in my state require teachers to send kids to the central office for infractions they feel merit corporal punishment.

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I personally believe spanking can be an appropriate form of punishment. For obvious reasons, the punishment should fit the crime, no reason getting spanked over something trivial. Also, not administered while you (the parent) are clearing angry or just reacting. It's hard to make good decisions at times like those.

I know many non-spanking parents who don't seem to think that the increased verbal lashings are as bad as physical contact, that I do not agree with. It's easier to say things you don't mean in anger and frustration when you feel you have no other way to discipline or get through to them. Spanking only hurts for a moment, your words can last their entire lifetime.

I personally was only spanked a few times growing up, and I definitely earned them, I can vaguely remember it. But there are hurtful words that still ring in my head more than 20 years later.

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I always find myself having to comment on articles from this site. First, I grew up in the time when teachers could spank and I never felt unsafe at school. Now teachers have very few forms of discipline available to them and students feel very unsafe. Secondly, it is impossible to prove any causation between spanking and sexual behavior. Most of these studies find a hint of correlation and run with it. People need to wise up about what they read. There is a big difference between finding a correlation and proving causation. I would really like to see more intelligent writing coming from this site. I roll my eyes a lot!

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http://www.myparentinglove.com

I totally agreed that always have a better way dealing with kids behaviour.

Parents don’t aware that spanking actually effect on a child’s behavior in the long run. Basically it stop bad behaviour happening in front of parents. Soon your child will become experts not to be caught. There develop to following rules only avoid punishment not learning the value of it to be right and wrong. choose good from bad. Spanking also exposed the child to violent. When they see it is permissivable to hit other. When the parents use authority, bigger and stronger inflit pain and fear in the child. Definately no positive conseqeuences results from spanking. Spanking always is a short cut way used by parents.

I have written a short post on this subject also.

http://myparentinglove.com/blog/values/should-i-spank-my-child

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I have never spanked my girls--the small issues that present for punishment do not warrant such a reaction. I have, however, not ruled it out if such behaviors become severe enough. At 12, the older one--probably not gonna happen. The younger one-we will have to see.

I have a nephew (now 21) who was spanked quite abit. He is fine, his younger sister cries if you tell her no, she is 7. The point every child is unique and what works for one may not work for the other. As long as it doesn't become abusive --it can work.

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I believe spanking should come back into schools not abusive hitting like most people seem to think it is. I spank my kids and there is nothing wrong with them and I was also spanked as a child and in school once (learned my lesson after it)
I belive it needs to come back because kids these days get away with way to much, they can come up with any story they want in a case and get believed
but this is only my oppion

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I think punishments need to fit the crime. Period. Spanking is not always an appropriate punishment, just as time outs are not appropriate punishments.
My personal belief is that spanking is used as an "urgent" punishment - child must understand RIGHT NOW that this is bad -- usually in response to child doing something dangerous. I have spanked my two-year-old daughter once, one quick smack on her butt, when she would not quit trying to run out in the street, and once I smacked her hand when she was repeatedly trying to reach for the hot oven door when I was trying to get something out of the oven. When I was a kid, taking away my books would have been a far more effective punishment than a spanking!
I do not think that spanking automatically equates to child abuse, but I also think that many parents overuse it, or what they call spanking really isn't. A couple whacks on the behind is a spanking, using a belt, a switch, or a paddle is not. And hitting a child in the head, pinching them, or dragging them around by the hair aren't spanking either!
I would also never allow someone else to use any kind of corporal punishment on my child. Time outs, standing the corner, detention, writing lines....whatever. But don't ridicule, and do not touch my child.

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HOGWASH! Really, that is preposterous. How is this even a "study"?

I was spanked occassionally as a child and I have no sexual issues at all.

I was also spanked at school one time. It terrified me for days ahead of time and, I'll tell you what, I didn't get into trouble again at school until I was a junior in high school. I got spanked as a kindergartner.

My child has also been spanked at one time or another. Never out of anger. Only when other punishments do not work (she is headstrong and laughs at time-out) or when she has put herself or someone else in danger. A discussion always precedes said spanking. And I am a-ok with this.

In general, though, I don't think I want anyone else employing that kind of punishment on my child, that is my job. And there really isn't any need for spanking at school. If spanking is done correctly, it is not done in the heat of the moment anyway, so why the need to do it on school premises is beyond me.

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I've thought a lot about this, too. I was spanked twice as a child (my mother followed Dr. Dobson's "Dare to Discipline" philosophy), and I learned very quickly not to let mom know about bad things I had done or bad things other people had done. I was a very well-behaved child, and I remember consciously thinking "That's against the rules. Don't do it. The pow-pow paddle is in the top drawer." Sexual problems? Only in connection to hiding things from my parents... I became sexual very early, and that caused a lot of issues. In no way would I consider my parents abusive, though.

With my own children, the thought of spanking them turns my stomach. It repulses me, just like slapping their faces would. I see it done all the time with my brothers and sisters and their kids, and it's almost always done in anger and frustration. The spank gets them to stop and pay attention. Then they discuss what proper behavior is. And if discussion is supposed to precede the spank, then spanking just seems to be a physical cue for the child to remember the discussion. Effective, yes. But once again, it leaves me with an uneasy feeling I can't really pinpoint.

I don't discuss my views on the subject with other parents, especially those who spank. Most of them are loving parents with willful children who don't respond to timeouts and stern words. But I have a few former friends who used spanking as a control tool, just like they used screaming and humiliation. Notice I said "former" friends. I just couldn't be around it anymore, just like I couldn't be around a married couple who don't treat each other with respect.

There's a lot of grey area here, and that's why I don't think spanking should be permissible. If done by clear thinking teachers or principals who don't get flustered and angered by ill-behaved children, and simply administer a quick spank to a tantrum-thrashing kid to get them to snap out of it, I'm okay with it. But there's so much grey area. When is an appropriate time? Where? Pants down? For what behaviors? It's a bad idea because it could be abused by power-mad control freaks and misinterpreted by careful, lawsuit-loving parents.

Cheryl
http://redpens-diapers.blogspot.com

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For those who think spanking is going to create a sneaky, violent child, (I have heard this ad nauseum), I have an idea.

Everyone who was spanked as a child and did NOT develop these tendencies, raise your hand. (Mine is up.)

Some people will say "that's what I did because my parents spanked me." But maybe they were just that way, spanked or not. Lots of kids who are not spanked are sneaky and violent too. Lots of people who are spanked are not. I'd like to clear up this nonsensical issue once and for all. (Yeah, right.)

Oh and by the way, I do not have sexual issues and I was spanked (... I mean by my parents). Y'all raise your hand if you were spanked and don't have sexual issues.

Thanks.

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I should have also added: do kids whose parents do NOT spank run to them and inform them of all the bad things they did today? The expectation of non-corporal punishment doesn't make them feel a little scared of exhibiting/admitting bad behavior? Then what is the point of discipline in the first place?

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What bothers me about this study is that it lumps acceptable sexual behavior in with 'sexual problems' while it blames all of this on spanking. Not to go too much into TMI territory, but my husband was never spanked, but enjoys some of the things deemed bad by this study.

I'm sorry, but if my husband and I think it's appropriate to spank our children (not abuse) then we should be able to. And we're not f-d up devients with sexual problems if we do it to each other for fun either.

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I am the oldest of five and we were all spanked and we have turned out really well. I also have no sexual issues and did not sleep around with multiple people. I do know a lot of people who sleep around and the majority were sexually abused or raped.
When I was spanked I was also told why I was spanked not to do those things again and also told that I was loved. I don't believe in spanking while angry and I don't believe other people should spank your children.
Spanking did not teach me not to be caught, it taught me to respect my mother and father and to do what is right. If you teach your child the moral reason why (right and wrong) it won't be about just getting caught or not. It will be about knowing what is right and wrong and making the correct decision.
If done correctly it won't teach violence. Violence is on tv, video games, news, etc. they couldn't even do a study on that because we are so exposed to violence in our every day lives whether we are spanked or not.

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I was spanked twice in my entire life. My mom could calmly speak to me and say something to make me feel like complete scum over something I did. She never had to spank me... yet I kinda wish she would have! Hearing that she's very disappointed in me and is not sure she can trust me again was worse than a spanking would have been! My dad spanked me twice and my mom about killed him over it. I was born in 1980 btw.

Now Grandpa taking me and my cousin to the garage and smacking our bare butts with a 2x4.. well sorry everyone, that IS abuse. Our crime? We didn't want to play with my brother... yeah.

I said I'd never spank (before kids of course!!!) and I have done it. At first I felt horrible but now I don't. My punishments fit the crimes. I can't remember when I did it the last time.. possibly a year or so ago even... but I WILL do it if necessary!

That's what is wrong with kids today.. they are allowed to walk all over adults and I'm sick of it!

BTW.. no sexual problems here unless you count shyness as a problem.

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lol ok whatever. Not everyone who was spanked takes part in risky sex. Think of all the genrations before us and how many of them were very prudish about sex , the complete oposite of this study.

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I was spanked as a child as were my brothers...no problem here. I spank my child, when I feel the problem needs that kind of attention.

My ped believes in spanking for life threaten events and not following the directions of an adult, esp a teacher, can be a life threatening event.

I use it as a tool, same as I would timeouts, cancel playdates, etc. Some children you can talk to and that's all you need to do, some need more. It depends on the situation and child.

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