Sharing a room: Pros and cons

My daughters share a room. They like it. They get along well, but sometimes they do fight. And when they have made a mess one blames it on the other and vise sersa, and don't want to clean it up. Other than that it seems to work out fine.
For the bed situation, I have the girls beds basically connected. The foot of my older daughters twin bed is right up against the top right side of my younger daughters twin bed. Kinda fitted together like a puzzle.

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Currently my daughters are in their own rooms, but come Spring and nicer weather a set of bunks beds that is currently residing at Papa's house will move into our older daughters room. When that happens I am seriously considering have them both sleep in the bunk beds, older on top and younger in the bottom.

You see my toddler NEVER spends the entire night in her own bed. She wakes up, due to a dream or whatever and sneaks into bed with me. I only know she's there when I wake up in the morning and hear her light snoring beside me. She's has perfected crawling in without stiring me at all, although it wouldn't be hard I am a heavy sleeper.

I am hoping that having them sleep in the same room will give my toddler some confidence to stay in a room that doesn't have me in it.

I'm looking forward to hearing everyone's insight on this one.

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My kids (age 1 and 3) share a room. Daughter (3) was having trouble sleeping at night and requested her brother share a room with her. I was a little hesitant at first since he was a great sleeper (in bed at 7pm up at 7am). But I moved his crib in her room and it went great. They were both in bed at 7pm, that was the rule when we moved them. Daughter will "read" a story to him, but he generally falls asleep rather quickly. Once he stops answering her, she will roll over and go to sleep too.
I think his snoring comforts her in some way, and her talking helps him too. They are both up at the same time in the morning, but this was true when they had separate rooms also...she can be loud.
Hope this helps....it is working for us, but at some point it will not since they are brother and sister. I am sure daughter will want her privacy before son is ready to leave!
Val
http://www.stinkyjohnjones.typepad.com

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ABSOLUTELY NOT!! Each child needs space. Ours do not even share tent rooms when we camp out. Now they are 12 and 5, but even if they weren't, they would never share a room. I have numerous siblings, and we did not share rooms, that was our space. I understand the drafty issue, why it was done, and during a storm or two--everyone has ended up in my room (I mean everyone-dogs and all) but I believe it is vital to give each child a place to call their own.

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The whole idea of sleeping alone is a pretty new and Western idea.

My girls share, I always shared, and it does a lot of good. Bonding, security, understanding one another, learning consideration, saving space (isn't a toddler bed the same size as a crib?), etc. The "own space" idea is overplayed in my opinion. A child can always seek her "own space" when she needs it. I used to do this a lot - under an end table, behind a chair, a clean space in the attic, makeshift fort, etc. It need not be permanent. A bit of creativity is all that is required.

As for waking each other up etc., this is really a temporary thing. Kids learn how to get what they need, including sleep. The benefits of being close outweigh the bit of sleep one or the other misses.

I would avoid putting them in the same bed if one of them is a squirmer. My sister was, and we had a tough time with that.

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When I was growing up, even though my sister and I had our own rooms, we preferred to sleep in the same room, usually in the same bed.

And we did. Once we acclimated when we were very young, we went to bed pretty quickly every night.

As for the "own space" concept, that's overrated, especially if the children are *asking* to share a room. Bedrooms are for sleeping in. Play rooms are for play. Hideaways under the table are for getting away from other people.

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Heck, my 2.5yo twins still share a crib (although after we PCS, they're upgrading to a twin-sized (heehee) bed)! We've actually considered putting all three kids in the same room to sleep (eldest is 5), and using the other bedroom for a playroom. As an only child, I had a room for sleep and a separate room for play, and I like the idea. There's nothing wrong with siblings sharing a room, or a bed for that matter.

This coming from a woman, however, that would like a separate bed from her husband - at least until we can buy a bigger one (we have a double).

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Mine share a room, and they will continue to do so even though we have a guest room that I won't let my husband use an office (if you knew him and his habit of spreading you'd understand). Since we have a relatively small house, and we do plan on trying for a few more in a couple years I believe its in our best interest to have the guest room as a place holder for now, later it will be someone's bedroom, either a new baby's or one of our present children will have it.

For the most part it works except when the toddler's need for a nap overlaps with the preschooler's need. If I try to put them in at the same time they goof off and everyone ends up miserable, including me since I know what is in store if they don't sleep. So on those occasions the oldest used to nap on our bed, until he was going through my dresser, now he naps in the guest bed. Someday the youngest will have a schedule, and at that time we're instituting everyone in your own bed for nap. Of course, with my luck the oldest will be done with naps when that happens.

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I shared a small bedroom with my sister and two brothers until I was about 6 or 7, when my sister and I moved into a room separate from the boys. Sis and I slept at opposite ends of a single bed. No problem. It only got difficult when we got older and had to try sleeping side by side. She always woke up at the opposite corner of the bed from where she went to sleep, I often ended up on the floor, and our blankets ended up somewhere else entirely. We got into a few fights due to my intolerance of this situation. (Once I woke up and kicked my mom thinking it was my sis - yikes!) But later, I slept fine with my wee sister because she didn't move around so much, and I pretty much slept like a log. I guess whatever works.

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My younger sister and I shared a room from the time she was born (3 1/2 years after me) to the time my mom and dad split (I was a senior in high school). We ALWAYS fought. To be quite honest, I really do think we hated eachother.
The room we shared was in a single wide mobile home and the room was roughly the size of a large walk in closet. We had bunk beds, 2 small dressers and a big garbage can for a toy box and maybe about 2 feet to walk. So I'm not sure if it was because of the size of the room or because we just didn't get along.....but there it is. However, after she moved out with mom, and I stayed with dad, we became closer than ever before. Our relationship still has its rocky points, but what relationship doesn't.
I really think that not having our own space really had a lot to do with us not getting along, and we are, in some ways, still paying the price.
So, I guess my point is that if you absolutely feel the need to have them share a room, make sure they have a way to have a little bit of space for themselves too.

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I never had to share because I had no siblings growing up, so I do not know exactly what it is like. My kids each have their own room because we have the space, and because they're a boy and a girl. I realize at this young age it doesn't matter if they share a room, but at some point in the future it will, and I'd rather they were already used to the situation. If we had 2 of the same gender I probably would have still seperated them at the time the younger one was born because my older one has AWFUL sleep habits. She screams when it's bedtime, she wakes up and screams at night once or twice, and she wakes up when DH's alarm goes off and screams for a while before going back to sleep again. I don't see anything inherently wrong wiith sharing a bedroom, as long as older kids are getting the privacy they require. I just don't think it'd work out well for our family in particular.

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My boys share and they love it. When they used to be in separate rooms before their baby sister arrived, the little guy used to crawl right in with his brother anyhow and they both were fine with it. Now they have bunk beds. We don't have room for them to have their own rooms, so sharing will continue.

I agree with SKL - this is a relatively new and a Western idea that families sleep separately and in different rooms. Most of the world still shares sleep among the family.

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