Hot on HuffPost Parents:
Lauren Boggi: Bouncing Forward: The Post-Natal Recovery Experience Of…
Measles Surges In UK Years After Vaccine Scare
Sharing a room: Pros and cons
Filed under: Toddlers Preschoolers, Preschoolers, Siblings, Development/Milestones: Babies, Bedtime
To save money and energy this winter, we moved our younger daughter out of her drafty nursery into our older daughter's room. The girls were thrilled by this news, to say the least, and now they say they want to make the arrangement permanent, even when the warm weather returns. I've heard that sharing a room brings siblings closer together, and they really do seem to draw comfort from having the other there at bedtime. I have a few concerns, however.The first is that they both take longer to fall asleep...a lot longer. This means that either they're losing out on sleep or we're pushing their bedtime back earlier. I can fudge a little with my toddler, who can catch up at naptime, but my preschooler never naps. They also both get up at the same time now, whether they're ready to or not. They don't actually get each other out of bed -- we've taught them to let the other sleep -- but it still can't be helped.
My other concern is space. It's time to move my toddler out of her toddler bed and get her the real thing, but I don't think there will be enough room in their shared bedroom. I'd love to put their beds in their respective rooms and let them share a bed on non-school nights, yet I don't want to squash any sisterly love they're developing.
So tell me, Parent Dish readers, do your kids share? Does it make them closer? How do you get around the logistics of it all?









ReaderComments (Page 2 of 2)
3-04-2008 @ 7:34PM
Mel said...What is it with this trend of scoffing at "Western" concepts. We do live in the West, you know, though there is certainly room elsewhere if "Western" living is unbearable. It's one thing to mull different ideas; it's another to be indignant about something because it originated in a particular region. Not very multi-culti or diverse is it?
3-05-2008 @ 2:08AM
Karen said...Mel, it's not a "trend," it is fact. The "new and improved" Western way of doing things doesn't suit my family. Western culture has disposed of many traditions which I feel are important for my family such as extended nursing, babywearing, and bed sharing.
3-04-2008 @ 6:50PM
Jennifer said...I shared a room with my sister for most of the time growing up... It all depended on the house we lived in (military family.) Yes we fought but we also learned the art of compromise. One of my best memories I have is when we were home alone while in high school (we had a family emergency and my folks had to leave us alone for a week- we were 16 &17 years old so it wasn't an issue.) My sister heard something outside the house and got freaked out; I slept with earplugs so I heard nothing. She got up the courage to get outta bed and come to my room and I threw the covers back and told her to hop in cause I wasn't getting up, just like the good old days.
I say you give it a try. Lay out some basic ground rules, keep it as a flexible situation for a bit (don't go painting the other room and turning it into your dream library...lol...think of it as a playroom) and you just might be amazed. Good luck!
Reply
3-04-2008 @ 8:32PM
Jill said...I put my boys in a room together for a guest visit when they were 1 & 4, and they wanted to stay together. The older son is a deep sleeper, falls alseep fast and needs a lot of sleep. The younger fidgets and tosses around for ages at bedtime, sleeps poorly and lightly and wakes early. Amazingly it hasn't been a problem, so three years later they're still sharing. The other room got to become a playroom. I love that they're so close at night because they squabble like typical siblings all day. Any time one of them wants to move out it's ok with me, but I don't expect it soon.
Reply
3-05-2008 @ 9:55AM
Kirsten said...My girls are 11 months and 2 1/2 and we plan on moving them in together so we can have a playroom and they always want to be together anyway.
I was raised with my sister and I each with our own room and I think that it has made me sort of weird about space. I have a REALLY hard time sharing my space. I think I missed out on some great life experiences (i.e. college roomates) because of this space issue.
I worked for the Housing Authority here in Portland, Oregon and they only subsidize apartments at 1 room=2 people. Be that adult child and elderly parent, same sex teenagers, single parent and child. I like that we are getting away from the craziness that it is somehow innappropriate for family members in small houses to share a room. Not everyone can afford it.
I want to at least give it a try.
Reply
3-06-2008 @ 12:11PM
Tree said..."And why allow one to disturb the other even once?"
Oh I don't know, maybe to teach your children the value of service and belonging to a family that helps each other out when they need it. Maybe to teach them that it's not "disturbing" to be needed by a loved one. I could go on.
Even though your children are too far apart to share a room, your reasoning for it is just off. I mean, don't "disturb"each other? Are you a family or not? Good luck to your children when they have to share a small apartment with 6 college roommates.
Reply
3-06-2008 @ 7:18PM
isisaquaria said...The disturbances of was refering to was in sleep, not the entire duration on this planet.
As for apartment sharing, if the want to great if not--I will be more than happy to provide a single bedroom apartment for both girls while in college as they won't need to be disturbed then either, and I do not expect them to work until the schooling is complete...and plan to provide a condusive surrounding for that--if they choose otherwise, once 18, so be it.
I just think that everyone deserves a place to call one's own. A bedroom for a child, an office, etc. While I do share a room with my husband, we have our own places in the home as well.
3-06-2008 @ 5:25PM
Amanda said...I shared a room with my sister growing up and we fought like she-devils from hell! (we are three years apart) however, I think it really made us close, we did have a lot of good times and now that we are adults we are closer than ever and we talk almost every day on the phone. I have two girls and I gave them each their own room because I didn't want them to fight like me and my sister did. but, just recently and for pretty much the same reason as Bethany I moved the oldest into the baby's smaller room and made the older one's room a play room. they absolutely LOVE IT. they are 3 & 16months old. It didn't take me long to figure out the way to get them to actually sleep was to put the baby down first and then put the toddler down once baby was asleep. they wake each other up in the morning so sweetly, the baby stands in her crib and big sister bounces on the end of her bed and they yell at each other and play. They have a good old time and then they have a great big play room full of all their toys and they can go in there and wreak havoc. when they get older if they want separate rooms then I will oblige them.
Reply
3-06-2008 @ 8:18PM
Tree said...isisaquaria -Hope your kids are getting full-ride scholarships. Otherwise, you must be freakin' rich! Or have no idea what college and apartments cost.
Reply
3-09-2008 @ 8:28PM
Kelly said...When my husband and I seperated and eventually divorced,my two boys(3&6 at the time) clung to me and would sleep with me everynight.Eventually as I was trying to make since of what was going on I thought they would be a great comfort to each other by letting them sleep together,well that didnt work we've sinced moved from our 4 bedroom house and now they are forced to share a room and bed, leaving my oldest Kaleb to complain because he says his baby brother Korei is not his friend and he doesnt like him anymore cause he wont let him sleep. So I definately think its a bad idea unless they (the kids) actually want it.
Reply
3-10-2008 @ 12:42AM
rebecca Biernesser said...My brothers shared a room when we were all younger. Appartly, there was a lot of "talking" at night about new words and body parts....To the point that my middle brother's teacher called my mom and asked if he had any older siblings b/c he was telling some girls that he had a big hmmm and that even his brother said so...After that, there were new bedtimes and no talking allowed.
I shared a room with my cousin for awhile, it wasn't bad, but we were 5 years apart and when I was playing with baby dolls, she was in high school doing high school things. We were close, but not really close.
I think it can be a good thing, but it can have you putting in some clauses...such as the youngest go to bed, followed by the next one 30 mins later, and then the next 30 mins after that, etc.
whatever works for you ;-)
Reply