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Rethinking date night
Filed under: Just For Moms, Just For Dads, Sex
The daily grind of caring for two children is starting to wear on my husband and me, and we've decided it's time for a date night. We're lucky that the first one will come this weekend, with my parents in charge of the kids. I think we've decided on a movie and dinner, though I'm a little afraid we might snore in the theater. Oh well, eight bucks is a small price to pay for a dark quiet room at this point.We've talked about making date night a part of our regular routine. So much of our time is spent working and caring for the kids that we sometimes end up having only those conversations necessary to keep the family machine running. Time alone, even a few hours every week, would go a long way to keeping us connected as a couple.
However, I've started thinking that we need to expand our idea of what that time should include. Dinner and a movie is about as standard as you can get. There are plenty of other ways we used to hang out together that don't fit neatly into the idea of a "date," or even into the timeframe of "night." Playing tennis. Canoeing. Hiking. All things that are a pleasure to do just the two of us but either impossible or miserable to try to do with two young children in tow.
Now I'm thinking that hiring a babysitter for some weekend mornings, instead of just evenings, might give us the opportunity to really have some fun together. We'd be fresh, and we'd likely return from our time alone ready to give more completely to our children.
What's your routine for connecting with your spouse or partner? How do you make it happen?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
3-09-2008 @ 3:04PM
Jill said...I call it "season tickets". Once you get the tickets (for example, as a Christmas or birthday gift) then you have the date nights preplanned and have a commitment to going out.
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3-09-2008 @ 4:09PM
jane said...We live in a *very* rural community so our choices are limited. We go to the gun club and target practice or sometimes we go bowling. I know most of you are thinking, WOO HOO!!!! But hey, you do what you can. Most of our “nights out” end up being at someone’s home for cards or something like that. I’m an hour one way, to go to a movie or a “real” restaurant so we just don’t do that much with time and gas money being a factor. But, we do make it our priority to get out just for some grown up time. Granted, most of the time we are at someone else’s home, their kids are there so ours could be too and sometimes is but that’s another story!! Plus the grandma’s want “the boy” anyway and beg for him to spend the night.
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3-09-2008 @ 4:18PM
Jen Henry said...We don't. We really, really, really, really need to.
Did I mention we need to?
We too live in a relatively rural area and I just don't know who to call for childcare. We have a 3 year old and a 2 year old. Their grandparents are willing, but not close by.
I think we took a night out in December, when we had a sitter for a Christmas party and at the last minute we bolted for the border and decided to skip the party and go to the movies instead. It seemed a shame to us to waste a perfectly good night out together at a boring Christmas party.
Good for you! I say schedule nights if you can. I know I really should!
Jen
http://furoreandfrenzy.com
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3-09-2008 @ 6:29PM
Crystal said...My husband and I go to the gym 3 times a week. My SIL comes over with her baby and watches our two kids for an hour or so. It works out great. My hub and I get the time alone we need.
And we *try* to get out at least one night a month for dinner. Or at least put the kids to bed early and pop a cork.
We need that time together to reconnect. It makes us better spouses and better parents.
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3-09-2008 @ 8:55PM
DBN said...We do really well at giving each other time out of the house, but we are not as good with time together out of the house. Usually we are going to some social event or another, and it is not true time out. I want to do things like go bowling, movies, etc. I actually LOVE the ideas that Jane had. For some reason we have become somewhat removed from doing those things, and I think it is a shame.
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3-10-2008 @ 8:06AM
RobMonroe said...Since our daughter is only 8 months old and still really cranky when she's going to sleep, we have decided to go out to lunch instead of dinner for our anniversary at the end of the month. The last time that my brother and his wife watched Abby she tired herself out to the point of just screaming. Not good. She gets worked up/excited to have "new" people to play with.
We figure that if it's a Sunday at noon time she will have had sleep and be ready for fun time, so it should work out for everyone involved.
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3-12-2008 @ 2:44PM
Shannon said...If you're looking for new things to do with your husband (or friends, or kids), I would recommend checking out www.planjam.com. It's a social planning tool that has a ton of ideas and localized activity listings for pretty much any interest, which is really great when you run low on stuff to do. I use it whenever I feel stuck in the same old dinner/movie/drinks routine.
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