Deli Rye Triscuits with havarti cheese. Chocolate peanut butter ice cream. Curly fries. Homemade banana smoothies. Cheetos. Annie's enchiladas. Krispy Kreme donuts. Venti vanilla lattes with whole milk. Blackberry scones. Chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven. Cheeseburgers from Fatburger. Waffles with real butter and syrup. Red curry with coconut milk. Heath bars. Cashews. Beecher's cheese. Prime rib. Kozy Shack tapioca pudding. Delicata squash with butter and brown sugar. Junior Mints. Salt and vinegar chips. Caramels.

What? Oh, sorry. I was just . . . uh, lustfully fantasizing about the various things I would like to cram in my food-hole now that I'm on this Lose the Baby Weight diet. Which involves such decadent treats as RICE CAKES. Mmm! Styrofoamy.

Well, I ate whatever the hell I wanted (see also: all of the above food items and more, OOPS) during my pregnancy, so I guess it's time to pay my dues. I don't expect to be flaunting a size 6 anytime soon, but good lord, just get me back in some pre-maternity jeans. It's been nearly 6 weeks of going back and forth between the same two pairs of stretchy yoga pants every single day and while I do appreciate the comfort that quality Lycra provides, I miss having some options, wardrobe-wise.

I'll tell you, I don't miss much about being pregnant, except the guilt-free snacking and license to wear elastic waistbands.