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Sally Kern's gay son
Categories: Just For Moms, Behaving Badly, In The News
A while back, the Ali Forney Center ran an ad campaign in New York aimed at encouraging parents not to stop loving their children just because they might be gay. Well, it seems to me that those posters might have been more in need in Oklahoma where Representative Sally Kern was recently caught ranting about gays, including making the claim that homosexuals are more of a threat to the United States than are terrorists and Islam.The thing is, speculation is running wild about a recent change made to Mrs. Kern's official web page -- the mention of her two adult sons was removed. The theory that seems to fit the facts is that Jesse, one of her two sons, is in fact gay. Further, the rumour is that Mrs. Kern has actually disowned her son because of it.
I regularly tell Jared and Sara that no matter what, I will always love them. I may not always like the things they do, especially when they do naughty things, but I will always love them. I guess, if the rumour is true, Representative Kern doesn't feel the same way.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 4)
Kellie 3-14-2008 @ 9:57AM
Roger I really like your writing. I do. But come on man. All you write about is people who hate gay people and people who are religious.
Branch out a bit....
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pbhj 3-15-2008 @ 9:21PM
To play devils advocate for a moment. Do you think you'll love them still if they become rapists, murderers, paedophiles? Even if they chose that life and are totally unrepentant. How about if one murders the other?
For many christians to choose buggery is as bad a sin as to choose to rape.
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george 3-17-2008 @ 6:26AM
I'd always love my child
pbhj 3-17-2008 @ 10:48PM
Which, the dead one or the one that murdered them?
the goddess anna 3-14-2008 @ 1:29PM
My grandparents disowned my mother when she told them she was a lesbian. My mother proceeded to have me to get back into their good graces. If they had never disowned her, she never would have had a child - so I'm thankful that they did that.
Parents have every right to disown their children for being homosexual, having a baby outside of marriage, being a felon, not going into the family business, whatever. Unless you are directly involved (as in, a member of that particular family), it's not your place to have a say. While I agree that this woman should not have made such a public condemnation of homosexuality as a public official, if her son is gay (and she wants nothing to do with him), that is her right.
My grandmother was a b-tch, and I did not acknowledge her as my kin until she died (and I tell people that she was a spiteful, hateful woman now). This was because she was very religious, and told me I was going to hell because my mother was gay. Would you tell me to accept this woman, who's behavior was contrary to my own? Then why presume to do that to Ms. Kern?
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Tricia 3-15-2008 @ 9:54AM
Whoa. I hope to God you NEVER have any children. You and Ms. Kern have evil hearts and are examples of what's bringing society down with your hate-filled rants, the whole time claiming to be Christians. Gay people are BORN gay and are still human beings just like everyone else. Please don't pro-create........
the goddess anna 3-15-2008 @ 10:11AM
For one thing, I'm not Christian. I'm a nontheist. Another thing, I have three wonderful children who love their Babbi (my mother) very much.
Your reading comprehension skills leave much to be desired.
george 3-15-2008 @ 7:34PM
Hello Anna,
I wanted to ask you a question if I may.
Parents do have a right to disown their children, your right. What are your feelings about throwing them out at a young age? Here’s my story
I came out to my parents when I was 14, I wrote them a letter and explained what I was feeling and told them that I loved them. I also made it clear that I know it would be hard for them and that I would give them as much space as they needed. Things were going great, we did not talk about it, and I was cool with that. I didn’t have a boyfriend at that time and did not look at porn on the computer. 3 months until my 15th B-day my dad said that the two of them could not get around me being gay, that was fine, I didn’t have a problem with that. He then said I needed to leave. I cried my eyes out, I was so scared. I called my best friend and his mother and father allowed me to stay there for a while.
2 weeks went by and I had not heard from my parents. Now I was getting upset. So I went to the police and reported my folks for throwing a 14 year old out into the street. DCF was called and investigated them and they were charged with child neglect. Both were placed on probation and DCF monitors then with my younger brother. DCF paid my friends parents for allowing me to stay there.
I am now 19 and in collage and work at a shelter for runaway kids. Kids (gay or straight) that are removed from their home, regardless of the reason, have the authorities called to investigate. Some parents have been arrested for removing their kids for as the court put it worthless reasons.
I saw my mom at the store a few years back, she looked at me and said “how are you doing”; I replied Do I know you?
Anna I mean you NO disrespect
George
the goddess anna 3-15-2008 @ 7:50PM
George - what your mom did was atrocious, imo. I would never condone throwing a child that young out onto the streets. I'm sorry for what happened, and I'm glad that you're working to help out other kids in that situation.
Straight G 3-15-2008 @ 9:49PM
Hi, Anna.
Thanks for your comments.
You are right: Mrs. Kern has a right to associate - or not - with anyone, including her own son. And we have a right to our own standards of what it means to be a loving parent and a tolerant and decent human being.
By any standard, Mrs. Kern is neither loving nor decent to her own son. And what is worse, she blames some paranoid delusion about a gay conspiracy (with the government!)for her son's direction in life - not herself. Shame.
Then she wraps her hate speech in facile and false support with an ignorant remark such as "studies have shown." Let's see those studies. Have we simply not noticed some civilizations that have passed from existence because of homosexuality? Is the research into the "indoctrination of 2 year olds just beyond our reach? Or is Mrs. Kern just a common bigot and an uneducated lout?
george 3-17-2008 @ 5:48PM
Thank you Anna
Victor 3-18-2008 @ 1:41PM
My grandmother was a b-tch, and I did not acknowledge her as my kin until she died (and I tell people that she was a spiteful, hateful woman now). This was because she was very religious, and told me I was going to hell because my mother was gay. Would you tell me to accept this woman, who's behavior was contrary to my own? Then why presume to do that to Ms. Kern?
Funny because I would suggest accepting this woman. I accept Ms Kern and her comments as I accept racists and their ignorant beliefs. All of these people act in fear and it is a tragedy that they sacrifice their family for their own beliefs. I have had homophobic and racist family members that I would never hate because of their hate. It seems everyone is so caught up in acting out an eye for an eye. In Exodus it teaches us to compensate for others hate with love. Perhaps instead of calling your deceased grandmother spiteful and hateful you should come to peace with her and finally let all of that hatred end. I only hope that the world can stop reacting and just start living in peace.
Kogs 3-15-2008 @ 12:22AM
@ the goddess anna
While I sympathise with the pain and hurt you must feel from having had to suffer the bigotry that your grandmother carried against gay people, I sincerely do not believe that their hatred is justified as a right.
By saying that we should not highlight that the way they think is wrong, that it hurts people who don't deserve it, it's passively supporting whatever they do.
Would you say that it's the right of any person to make a child feel hurt and unloved, discarded because they're gay (or children of gay parents) -- surely the way you must have felt when your grandmother said mean things to you?
We will never be able to root out homophobia. Rather like racism, a lot of it stems from personal "beliefs" and a deluded sense of entitlement to whatever treatment some people feel certain minorities ought to be subjected to. But if we make it clear that such behaviour will not be condoned, that we won't say it's a mother's right to disown her son for being gay, maybe it'll make people like Sally Kern think twice before running their mouths off. Maybe less people have to be hurt in the future.
-Kogs.
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the goddess anna 3-15-2008 @ 8:54AM
I love my mother because she is my mother, but she is well-aware I do not approve of her lifestyle. Having grown up with my mother, living with her for 17 years (until I went to boot camp), I still call it a lifestyle. She might have been born that way, but she lives her life as an openly-gay (and kinda butch) woman.
I hated my grandmother because she was so 'morally righteous,' not because she hated my mother. She took her frustrations and anger at my mother out on me. I still hate her for this, and it's still my right. Just like it's your right to disagree with me.
Steve Rider 3-14-2008 @ 10:52PM
Of course you will always love your children, no matter what. Me too. Not your children, my children.
And don't believe people that say gays can't have kids, I fathered 3 of them.
And just for Sally:
http://SallyKern.com/
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SKL 3-15-2008 @ 1:57AM
I agree with the goddess. There are lots of parents who are estranged from their offspring, for a variety of reasons. It seems extremely strange to hear someone suggest that a parent has no right to be estranged from his/her adult child, or vice versa. It is equally unreasonable to say that some group of holier-than-thou people get to decide which reasons for disowning are allowed and which are not allowed. This is getting way too deep into an individual's personal decisions.
I don't know the facts here, but from my reading of Roger's post, it seems nobody is really sure this woman did disown her son for being homosexual, or even that he is homosexual. This means we really don't know if her public comments about homosexuals could be construed as against her son or not.
I agree that going on a public rant against homosexuals is inappropriate. However, we are all entitled to our own opinions and our own private actions (within the law) in relation to our family. Roger himself has noted that he has siblings from whom he is estranged and doesn't allow his kids around. Hmm. I don't know why and I don't care, but what if someone decided that he didn't have a right to his feelings and actions in this regard? I suspect he would disagree.
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Gail 3-15-2008 @ 8:00AM
I feel nothing but pity for the state of Oklahoma that they have such an ignorant Representative. I am a 48 year old lesbian and my mother loves me! When I first told her I was a lesbian she was shocked but she continued to love me and now we have a wonderful, loving and caring relationship. Gays/lesbians are NOT trying to convert two year olds or anyone else for that matter, because gayness is NOT a conversion....it's genetic. I was born a lesbian. I don't know why and I fought it for many years. I knew I was "different" when I was a young child. Who in their right mind would "choose" to be someone who is constantly the brunt of jokes and ostracized? Get real folks! And if you don't understand it then keep your mouth closed because you are only embarassing yourself.
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Jilly 3-15-2008 @ 1:41PM
Gail,
Your comment is totally "on-par" with my beliefs in this area.... I find Ms. Kern's comments appalling.. and think she's just too narrow-minded to consider life as it is... not just as she wishes...
I am so glad for you that you have a loving and understanding mother. I hope/believe I will be the same if one of my four children comes to me, some day, with news that he/she loves same-sex people. I love my children for who God made them to be... not for who God made them to love...
I wish you all the best,
Jilly
Big Daddy 3-15-2008 @ 8:12AM
The fact that she uses her position as an elected government official to preach hatred and intolerance is unforgiveable. If in fact her son IS gay, he ought to do his mother's constituents a favor and begin the process of having her removed from office.
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Frank 3-15-2008 @ 9:00AM
Hatred is alive and apparently well within the leadership of our country. That we are a nation proud of its democracy...its freedoms....it equality(although we aren't all the way there yet...) ..many are hypocrits and still embrace discrimination. I believe this stems from people really not knowing that gays/lesbians are just like everyone else...we have problems,and bills,and we have dreams and hopes and we grieve and cry also. The only difference being who we choose to love in our lives.
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