Games that make kids cry

If you have access to a parachute, they're always fun to put a ball on, bounce it around and see if the people around the edges can get the ball in the hole in the middle. It also is really fun to make the parachute get full of air and then run underneath it and make a big tent for everyone to sit in. There are lots of sizes available.

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You know, in some ways I tend to agree with you, because it is sad when birthday party games end in tears. And I think the beach ball idea sounds like fun - other ideas might be a statues game, where everybody freezes when the music stops, or charades or something.

But I think it's also extremely important to teach your kids that it is totally OK to lose, and the more often they lose (especially at such a random game like musical chairs), the more opportunities you get to drive that point home. We're going through that with our daughter right now - she's 5 - and I really want her to learn to enjoy the fun of the game or the race, and not worry so much about the outcome. To know that it's great to win, but that she can't win all the time.

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I'll second the parachute thing....you can get them at Oriental Trading, for one place.

Also, Duck-Duck-Goose...involves lots of screaming and running around and anticipation, and there is no "out," you just go back and take the place of the person you tagged. Even 8 year olds would probably enjoy it!

There are various things like Telephone (whispering a 'secret' from person to person, until you see how different it is at the end, from the original), and Round Robin (where you make up a story as a group -- one person starts, and stops at an interesting moment, and the next person picks up), which can lead to much hilarity, especially if you have creative kids.

I've seen "themed" parties for older kids too, that are even educational as well as being tons of fun -- the mad scientists lab, a dinosaur dig in the backyard, stuff like that. That kind of incorporates the games into the party itself.

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Love the parachute idea, and the others too.
I have to say though, that I'm surprised these kids were 8 years old and crying over this. Seems a tad old to me.
My experience with competitive games is that there is always that one child that can't handle it. Must have been quite a dramatic scene with all of them crying! I feel sorry for the parents throwing the party, I would have felt so bad!
We did a water balloon toss once. Everyones breaks eventually and everyone got a prize so no winners/losers. It seemed to be a hit.

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Treasure hunts are always a hit. If I'm in a creative mood I try and make the clues rhyme. I also make sure to let each kid have a chance to read a clue, even if another child finds it -- that way everyone feels included. Make sure there's a small treasure at the end. I'd just make the prize a box filled with the bags of party favors you were probably planning on handing out already. Or just fill a box with dollar-store trinkets.

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I really enjoyed the game of musical chairs in high school...only because the boys were the "chairs" (kneeling on one knee). ;)

One non-competitive game you could play is the "Elephant Game" which consists of people (any age can play!) standing in a circle. One person stands in the middle and points to someone. That someone has to put two fists in front of each other on their nose (elephant nose) and the people on either side of this person have to cup their hand next to the middle person's ears (elephant ears). Then the person in the center moves on to another person. The idea is to think quick. It gets hilarious when people mess up or space out, not realizing it's their turn being the "elephant ear." People can take turns being in the center of the circle.

I play this game with my college students and they love it. I do make the game more challenging by adding another "character" such as the middle person being a hula dancer and the people on either side wave their arms in the air as palm trees. The person in the center of the circle will hold up 1 finger for the elephant and 2 fingers for the hula dancer. It can be mind-boggling, seeing the number and trying to remember which character you are supposed to be!

Even more challenging, you can add a third character: a bee which consists of the middle person holding their pointer finger outwards on their nose and the people on either side using their hands on the middle person's shoulders and flap them for wings.

Hope your kids enjoy this game! =)

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I think it's a good idea to have non-competitive games at a 6-year-old's birthday party. But the one you described sounds potentially dangerous as kids could get so wound up trying to keep the ball in the air they might whack or trample each other. The parachute idea probably reduces the chances of this.

I agree with the other posters, however, who say that it's not a good idea to shield kids from disappointment. They should be learning how to be a good sport and deal with the fact that sometimes someone else gets to be #1. The fact that everyone cried at the 8-year-old's party you attended suggests that many parents are shielding their kids all too "well" from disappointment these days. The correct lesson to teach isn't that we all get the same things and the same happiness all the time, but that our turn for success will come if we practice and persevere and act like someone that other kids will want to play with. And that if we don't like games like musical chairs (some kids do, some don't), that's an OK personal preference, but the rules of the game aren't going to change to cater to our tastes.

But tears at a birthday party are best avoided if some simple planning can achieve that.

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I'm with those that find it strange that 8 year olds acted this way. It MUST be the conditioning of "everyone wins" that has been so popular. Seems like a very whiny group of kids. My son is 8 and usually one of the more emotional ones in a group, but if he cried at musical chairs I'd be shocked!

It is unfair NOT to teach children about competition, about being a gracious winner and a good loser. Don't be surprised if they turn the parachute game into something that has a winner and losers. Children tend to do this on their own. I've noticed they find ways to keep score, even when the parents discourage it.

Another thing I've noticed in regard to birthday parties is that all the children think THEY are the special ones. They don't seem to know how to celebrate the friend's day without wanting attention for themselves. While this is OK (and a teachable moment) at 2, 3 and 4, eventually, they need to learn how to care enough for others that they can be genuinely happy when little Billy gets a present and they don't.

That being said, birthdays should be fun. It shouldn't all be about competition and wishing the birthday child well.

When the kids were younger, I played games that accumulated small prizes. Instead of doing the goody bags, I found some type of container that related to the party and as children accumulated prizes they stored them to take home. For my son's party, they got dog bowls and as they played games I gave them "prizes" such as dog bone shaped water bottles, candy shaped like dog bones, etc. I wrote their names on the bowls and this is where they stored their prizes until cake was served. I then transfered the prizes to a plastic baggie and cake and ice cream was served in the bowl. We washed them and sent them home with the kids.

I've also had parties where the activity was something they child could take home. For instance, my daughter's last party was a Baking Party. Each child got an embroidered chef hat and apron, and they also took their cake creation home. I got cake boxes and they decorated them.

To me it is easier if you work things around a theme. That gives you ideas of things to do and ways to make all children feel included.

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When we had the b-day party for my youngest (5), there were 21 children ages 4-5, several age 12 (siblings for help with little ones) and two developmently delayed children age 7 and 9---we had games with winners and losers and had no tears from anyone--I am surprised that school age children reacted in such a manner--I think most posters are right---the parents of these children are skewing things to avoid disappointing them and that is not a good life lesson. I feel for these kids...

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When I was in high school, I learned the non-competitive form of Musical Chairs.

We all sat in a circle, and the leader of our little counseling group went "The wind blows for girls". So all the girls got up and changed seats, and the one left out was the next one to speak. "The wind blows for people with red shirts on". So all the people with red shirts would get up and scramble, and the one left out went, ah... "The wind blows for people with glasses", something like that. And if you want a mad dash, you go "The wind blows when there is a HURRICANE", and everybody gets up. It's actually a lot of fun, and I intend to teach it to my niece soon :)

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I wonder if the problem was not so much that someone lost but that they didn't get to play anymore - and the game had just begun.

I learned another version of co-operative chairs where the goal is to get everyone on the chairs. It starts with enough chairs for everyone, then one is removed and everyone still has to get on the chairs and so on until you are getting all the players on one (or two) chairs. It can really get people working together and encourages balance and creative thinking.

If that seems risky, you can use a big piece of paper and keep folding it - see how small it can get and still fit everyone.

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Wow, Goodbye sweet America, now we cant even play games where someone can be "out" without tears? If my kids cried over that, I would have to do a serious reality check on my parenting. Over coddled kids today are tomorrows nightmare. They can't handle ANY form of criticisism and feel ENTITLED to everything that everyone else has or it isn't "fair" I cannot believe you were serious that you are anti competitive games!

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