Helpful instructions for baby care
Categories: Newborns, Babies, Relatives
My husband's parents are scheduled to visit us this weekend and my mother-in-law emailed me to say they would watch both kids if JB and I wanted to escape the house for a bit (little do they know we've been plotting this for days and have movie times scheduled, the menu order in mind for our favorite sushi restaurant, and the precise howl of joy we'll make as we peel out from the driveway with an EMPTY BACKSEAT). She did write that she was a bit intimidated by taking care of a six-week-old, so I would need to have some exact instructions on hand to help them out.I thought about what sorts of instructions I would leave, and here's what I came up with:
IN CASE OF BABY CRYING
1. Baby may be hungry, attempt to feed
2. If feeding does not help, change diaper
3. Try soothing baby by holding, rocking, swinging, reading aloud from American Psycho, etc
4. If all fails, start over at #1
5. Do not under any circumstances dip baby in flour mix and batter-fry until golden brown then devour with a side of tartar sauce
I should work on that some more, I guess. But really, I would greatly prefer to give DYLAN exact instructions. "Don't stress your grandparents out," I would tell him. "These are the people who will be on your side later in life when you drive your parents up the wall." And as long as I'm fantasizing that I can tell him what to do, the next thing would be HOW ABOUT SLEEPING MORE THAN 3 HOURS AT A TIME AT NIGHT, KIDDO.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
dc 3-20-2008 @ 8:21PM
Dont forget:
6. Shove Binky in mouth, even when he doesnt want it!!
LMAO
Reply
Eva 3-20-2008 @ 10:24PM
For my pet sitters, I would leave several pages' worth of single-spaced typed instructions on all sorts of contingencies. The first time I left the baby with a sitter, my only real instruction was not to waste breastmilk (which she did anyhow) and that the baby liked her swing. I don't know what this says about me.
Reply
Amy 3-20-2008 @ 10:30PM
I always check diapers first, but that's just me.
And by the way, I can still count on one hand the number of times that my 2 and a half year old has slept through the night, so, um... Yeah.
My one year old doesn't either.
Did I forget to mention that when I was telling you how great it is to have two kids?
Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com
Reply
queenoqueens 3-20-2008 @ 11:31PM
"reading aloud from American Psycho"....hehe. You so crazy...
To add to the "do not do" list.....do NOT try feeding the baby coca-cola in his bottle. A babysitter did this to my husband when he was an infant, honest to God.
Along with your list, perhaps you can draw some diagrams as well. At least that might make your MIL laugh.
Reply
Charles Pafford 3-26-2008 @ 3:16PM
Sure you can feed the baby coke-a-cola in a bottle but frist you must shake the fizz out or the nipple will blow off...lol
http://www.allforbabyz.com
swgirlscoutmom 3-21-2008 @ 8:26AM
Write down your cell numbers for them. Let them know what times are good/bad to call. A list of activities for Riley would probably be appreciated too.
More ideas for Dylan - become a happy, rich, successful businessman and provide your loving parents with a beautiful house, etc.
Reply
Crystal 3-21-2008 @ 11:36AM
I would think your MIL would be nervous about the toddler, not the 6 week old. At 6 weeks, you feed them and hold them. Not a whole lot to it.
The toddler needs to be entertained. And with my kids, if Nana and Pa dont do it 'the right way' LOOK OUT. The toddlers are much more high maintenance.
Any why do grandparents get so nervous watching their grandkids, anyway? My mother freaks out, and calls me with every little whimper and poopy diaper.
She had kids. WTF? If I'm out and you have my kids, leave me the hell alone. Dont call unless there is blood. And there better be alot of blood. lol
Reply
Karen 3-22-2008 @ 4:56PM
Okay, the dipping and frying just about killed me...