Adjusting to a new sibling
Categories: Newborns, Babies, Toddlers, Siblings
I worried a lot about how my toddler would adjust when we brought his baby brother home, and we've had a few ups and downs in that department. There have been some piteous cries of NO FEEDING DIWWAN WIGHT NOW and some tantrumy outbursts, but over time Riley's become pretty accepting of our new family dynamic.Lately he's started involving Dylan in most of the weird, elaborate stories he likes to tell us about how he's gonna get in a FIRE TRUCK and drive it alllll the way to the BEACH to see the WATER and MOMMY and DADDY and DYLAN are going to come TOO. He also likes ask whether or not Dylan has a "tiny" version of whatever we're all talking about, as in "Dylan need a tiny SANDWICH, Mommy?" while I'm making Riley lunch, or "Dylan has a tiny TOOTHBRUSH?" as he's getting ready for bed.
I've seen photos of toddlers adoringly cradling their baby brothers or sisters and I've wondered whether I gave birth to a different kind of older kid -- specifically one who shows no particular interest in holding a baby, nor frankly should be trusted not to absentmindedly drop him to the floor or curiously poke him in the eyesocket -- but even though I don't have the loving family portrait to prove the existence of young brotherly affection, the other day Riley looked at Dylan, looked at me, and announced apropos of nothing, "I YIKE Dylan, Mommy!"
Good enough for me.
Recent Posts
- Teen shot over toilet paper prank (10/15/2008)
- Spanish baby engineered to save brother (10/15/2008)
- Obama wins Scholastic Kids Election poll (10/15/2008)
- Girl with Down syndrome voted Homecoming Queen (10/15/2008)
- Trista and Ryan Sutter expecting baby number two (10/15/2008)
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
susie 3-21-2008 @ 9:31AM
That is AWESOME. I YIKE Riley.
Reply
Jessica 3-21-2008 @ 9:55AM
Eh, he's a boy and, by your own accounts, a rough and tumble boy. Probably isn't very natural for him to be all lovey-dovey with Dylan. But I bet they will be best buds when Dylan gets a little older and Riley gets a chance to be an adored older brother.
Reply
Jill 3-21-2008 @ 9:57AM
The good and bad stages of siblings keep changing. My boys (3&6) are best friends, sometimes. #1 did great when #2 was born... until that baby learned to crawl and set his mind to destroying Lego creations, block towers, whatever else he could find. Always enjoy the good times!
Reply
Heidi 3-21-2008 @ 11:29AM
Hi there,
I'm also a mom of two boys. To make you feel better, my oldest also went through some jealousy issues when his little brother first came into this world (Ryan was 4.5 and didn't quite understand why Jacob was here). But now Ryan's nearly 8 and now understands and loves his brother.
The only time Ryan has a complete melt-down about Jacob is when Jacob dares to step foot into Ryan's room- LOL.
So don't worry too much... it'll get better as they both get older.
Reply
Katie 3-21-2008 @ 12:07PM
My two boys are both rough and tumble, but when my youngest came home after birth, the oldest was very unsure. He wasn't totally enamored of his little bro, yet he wasn't in full dislike of him either. Just "eh", until little bro started walking! Now, they are 32 months and 14 months old, and they play very well together and unless they start fighting over one toy, they're very good boys! Big bro helps little bro climb onto the couch and end tables, little bro helps big bro climb into the crib to be with little bro, etc. I have the distinct feeling that I will be sprouting grey hair repeatedly in the future due to their "team-work"! Just as long as big bro doesn't use little bro's face as a "speed bump" while riding bikes, as my hubby did to his little brother, we'll be just fine!
Reply
Brooke 3-21-2008 @ 1:24PM
My daughter keeps telling me that she loves "Baby Junior" (what our kids call the fetus because we won't share his real name). I think it's sweet that she says that, because she was a bit upset when she learned I was pregnant. I guess she's over it now. I hope she still loves him when he's squalling for boob at 3 AM.
Reply
GIA 3-21-2008 @ 2:33PM
He will come to like Dylan in his own time. Each kid has their own adjustment time table. I bet when Dylan can do more things Riley will be more interested in playing and holding Dylan.
Reply
Sabrina 3-21-2008 @ 4:19PM
My daughter was very curious about her brother when he was born. They're only a year and a half apart, so I'm not even sure if she rememebers her life before he was born, but now that he's almost 2 they're doing very well together. When he was smaller she liked to help Mommy by getting diapers and wipes and holding bottles, and she still enjoys that, but now she's delighting in her brother's ability to master new skills. I suspect that even if your little guy isn't lovey dovey with his baby brother, he'll be impressed the first time "baby" does something decidedly "big", like taking his first steps or saying a clearly understandable word.
Reply
ikate 3-21-2008 @ 7:47PM
My sister's kids - a girl and a boy, 3 years apart - are my only "experience" in this department as I only have one. My niece HATED her baby brother until he was about 18 months old and he could play with her. Honestly, I think the younger was about 3 before things really smoothed out (as much as they can between siblings). She would never touch him unless she had to and would shoot him the look of death every time he cried. It was quite funny to watch from afar!
Reply
misguided mommy 3-22-2008 @ 10:59AM
So far my first son seems to like my second son a lot. He tells me all the time how much he wikes codyee (codi) it might be because i told him my cabbage patch was his brother when he was little and told him he had to be nice to it. That either really helped, or, it helped so my son will love dollys later. hmmm.
Reply
Uly 3-22-2008 @ 11:33AM
Oh, all those lovey-dovey hugs. They look great, right up until you have to sneeze. Open those eyes again and suddenly, SUDDENLY, the baby is in a choke hold and SOMEBODY is doing the shaking.
"STOP KILLING THE BABY!!!!!"
"I'm not killing the baby. We're just *hugging*!"
Reply