Pregnant husband

by Angie Felton (Subscribe to Angie Felton's posts) Mar 21st 2008 5:30PM

Lots of husbands jokingly tell their pregnant wives they'd gladly carry the baby if they could, but one Oregon man is actually bearing the child his wife wasn't able to.

The husband is transgender, meaning while legally considered a male and lawfully married to a woman, he was born with female reproductive organs. And those organs have come in handy, as they are now being used a carry the couple's child (conceived with donor sperm at home after fertility clinics refused to assist the couple) because endometriosis cost his wife her uterus.

Thomas Beatie, the husband in this unusual situation writes in The Advocate: Our situation sparks legal, political, and social unknowns. We have only begun experiencing opposition from people who are upset by our situation. Doctors have discriminated against us, turning us away due to their religious beliefs. Health care professionals have refused to call me by a male pronoun or recognize Nancy as my wife. Receptionists have laughed at us. Friends and family have been unsupportive; most of Nancy's family doesn't even know I'm transgender.

Beatie's first pregnancy attempt was triplets, but had to be terminated because it was ectopic. When his brother heard the news he said "It's a good thing that happened. Who knows what kind of monster it would have been."

I'm trying to imagine the courage it took for this man to share in such a public and noticeable way that he's not the typical male everyone thought he was. That is one very much wanted child.

Thanks, Meg!

Source

Comments (21)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

Meagan 3-21-2008 @ 6:50PM

Wow... that might be the weirdest and coolest thing I've ever heard. I'm sort of giggling as I type this but I'm serious as well: what a blessing for his wife that her husband was able to carry their child!

amber 3-21-2008 @ 7:54PM

It is a wonderful thing- a child being born. It is also such a terrible thing that so many people are so close minded and riddled with hate. I know first hand how much of a blessing a child is. Though, I am woman and have stayed that way, i almost lost my son 3 times. He truely is a miracle baby. Best of luck to the new soon to be parents.

Eva 3-21-2008 @ 8:23PM

Thank you for posting this story. I was frustrated to read about people's religious beliefs leading them to treat others unfairly, but otherwise this was a very uplifting tale.

meredith 3-21-2008 @ 8:50PM

I find this absolutely fascinating. Thank you so much for posting about this. What a dialog that will come from the story being told!

kris 3-21-2008 @ 9:44PM

What a courageous thing for him to do for their family. I'm so touched that he would expose himself this way for the love of a child. There is nothing wrong with this, he was born this way.

Captain Obvious 3-22-2008 @ 10:49AM

I'm just wondering what kind of effect this will have on the child...

Uly 3-22-2008 @ 11:33AM

Probably none.

eugene 3-22-2008 @ 11:36AM

There are worse things in life than having two people who are committed to each other in a loving relationship sharing that love and committment with a child, imo.

This person, who saw himself, not as he was by birth but by identity, chose to risk all of that to bring a child into this world. How many of us could say the same?

Derek 3-22-2008 @ 12:53PM

Don't tell me I'm the only who immediatly had the image of the GOVERNATOR pop into my head? I can't even remember the name of that movie, but it had Danny devito in it.

Derek 3-22-2008 @ 12:55PM

Junior!

Jamie 3-22-2008 @ 5:05PM

I am so jealous.

Mary 3-22-2008 @ 5:47PM

It's nice that he was willing to do that for his wife and to start his family, but it's not like there's amazing science going on there since, physically, he is female.

Sherry 3-22-2008 @ 11:14PM

I really don't see what the big deal is about this. Regardless of how this person lives life or what medical procedures and therapies he has used, reproductively he is still female. It is not like someone who is reproductively male is pregnant and giving birth.

I can totally understand doctors and health care workers being reluctant to help them with this and insisting that they have psychological counseling/evaluations. This person has presumably spent his whole life attempting to become the male that he feels he was meant to be; yet, decides being female isn't so bad and can at least temporarily switch back if it can give him/them what they want.

I wish these people nothing but the best with this baby and don't care how they live their lives, but I don't see him as being particularly brave about anything. So his little secret has been revealed and some people don't agree with it. That's life for every one of us to one degree or another. His secret just happens to be a bit further out there than most.

Zen 3-23-2008 @ 8:47AM

Okay my first question is how??? When I first read it I just assumed IVF and that delivery would be by c-section. But the article said they did it at home. If the carrying partner is a female-male-transgender, how did the the swimmers to the egg?

Kitty 3-23-2008 @ 5:55PM

I guess I am just curious so the article mentions female insides but does he have a vagina or a penis?

I have heard of people and animals born with penis but inside they have ovaries.

Good luck and heres hoping for a painful delivery so that you can truly tell all the men in the world that it hurts like hell.
but I hope for a very healthy child for you and your wife.

jessica 4-04-2008 @ 2:28PM

this is truly amazing- and definetaly a blessing for this young family that has been unfortunate to have gone threw misfortunes. i say the best of luck to all that want a baby so bad that will do everything in there power to make that happen- god once said that having a baby means that world was meant to go on. so god bless and my prayers are with this family hoping for a healthy happy baby- and a healthy happy father as well. im sure you two will be extremely close.

Delilah 3-26-2008 @ 6:24PM

This is disgusting. So much for morals and appropriate family values. That poor poor defenseless child that these selfish people are bringing into this world. There should be laws against this stupidity.

Jean 3-27-2008 @ 1:34AM

Living in the United States is a dream come true but people forget that we have to respect the country too. There is so much freedom here but it doens't mean we have to abuse it. I understand the lesbians or gay who would want to get married. But for Thomas Beatie, who will bring a defenseless child into this world is too selfish. She can't even make up her mind what gender she prefers to be and having a child looking like a man that's despicable. There's should be a law that this type of behavior is committed a federal offense.

Lapis 3-28-2008 @ 3:10AM

morals? appropriate family values?

this is a married couple who've tried several times before. what's more moral than that? this child will grow up in a warm, loving, accepting environment and *that* is more important than almost anything.

the legal gender of the person carrying the child shouldn't matter. he was born female and retains female reproductive organs and thus has the ability to conceive and give birth.

the fact that he's risking his identity to do so makes this even more beautiful. best of luck to you, thomas and nancy!

Katie 3-27-2008 @ 2:29PM

There are so many children being born to irresponsible parents and fathers who do want want or know they even exsist. These two people have obviously thought long and hard about this decision, one that many people do not even think abou at all!!
This child will be loved and cared for, it will become it's parents world, for baby to be so loved, who are we to judge the circumstances of it's birth???

| 1 | 2 |

How To Submit Photos:
If you'd like your children (any age will do!) featured on ParentDish, upload photos into the ParentDish Flickr Pool. Be sure to read our main Flickr page for more information.