I hate the invites that are vague, so I am very specific on ours for our girls. We usually allow siblings at both girls parties, because they are the same age group as our other children. If you do not chose to do that, be clear on the invite that it is invite only.
As for the all day sitting, call the parents after 30 min or so, or make sure they know you have plans that require them to be there on time and get a number to call them. We have sign- in sheets. And, that way, if a child is dropped off by Mom, and Dad is coming later--I have it in writing and we send several numbers with the parent ICE--we had a mom go into labor last yr so she was suddenly occupied.
With our family the adult ratio is usually not a problem, but we have other parents we know will stay or we can call on.
We do not have the problem of not knowing the kids usually because I am at the school all the time and we are such a small town--IDK what I would do, just try to call and say "I am being absent-minded..and can not place your face..."or something similar.

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I had the whole family show up thing once for a birthday party for my daughter. I invited a co-worker's granddaughter (same age). The day of the event the co-worker arrived with the granddaughter, her neice, her adult daugther and adult son. I was nonplussed. What do you do though once they are there?

I would never leave my child at a lakeside event with so few adults and I always lurk at the Chuck E Cheese parties. I have yet to drop and go, but my daughter is only 6. I'm not ready to leave her with people I don't know well.

I always make sure to spell out to the parents on the invitation the time of the party 1 to 3 pm and then remind them again on the day of the party. It is amazing how thoughtless people can be of other's time.

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You can put it all in the invitation:
"We will be celebrating at the skating rink from 2-4pm. We are happy to have you to drop your child off if you are able to pick him up promptly at 4pm. Unfortunately, unless you are able to stay to help supervise, we are not able to accommodate any siblings."

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People really do that stuff?

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My son was invited to a party on a Wednesday afternoon at an indoor bounce house place. When I RSVP'd, I mentioned to the mother that my son would love to come but I'd also have to bring my daughter as I had nobody to watch her on a weekday. I offered to pay for her entrance and asked if it would be a problem. She said that it was fine and there was room for her without having to pay anything additional. I stayed at the party and supervised both of my children. I think that being upfront and honest is the most important thing.

Also, I just sent out invitations for my kids' birthday party - we're doing a joint one since they are only 3 & 5 and I've only received 5 or 6 rsvps out of over 20 and it's past the rsvp deadline. People are just rude these days.

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Nice people do NOT do that. Ever. Only genuinely rude, clueless, boorish people do that.

I once overheard the mother of a gaggle of wild little boys tell them to ". . . go on over there and get yourselves some cake; they'll never know the difference" at a party my son was invited to at a bowling alley.

News flash, "Ma," when six or seven extra kids try to score cake and food, the hosts will know the difference.

I simply can not even IMAGINE assuming that an invitation would include anyone other than the individual to whom it is addressed. Holy scheisse.

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It's rude to just assume that siblings are invited too.
Also as a child it is no fun to always have to do everything with your siblings. I think it's important for children to have their own friends and acitivities without their siblings and without their parrent(s) hovering.

I say drop them off and if needed pick them up. Normally children are taken home at the end of the party by the party givers.

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I always ask if I need to stay or not and give them my number in case anything should happen. I had one party where the host wrote on the invite that parents needed to stay.

I don't take my other kids to parties and so far have not had to do something like that.

I have a question for everyone: Would you hold a party early? We are moving at the end of the school year and can't decide if we want to hold him a birthdya party then with his friends (it would be in June, B-day is July) or come back in town at his birthday and do one...

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When I invited people to my DD's 3rd birthday this year, I made sure to invite all the siblings too and prepare for them, knowing that one friend had family in town which she was bringing with her, and another friend's husband was deployed. It was actually a lot of fun with the different age groups of kids and people I'd never met before. The thing is, my friends were all really honest about needing to bring along extra guests, and I was ready for them. I feel that it's rude to surprise your host/hostess by bringing along uninvited people unannounced. A lot of people plan their parties down to the smallest detail depending on how many guests are supposed to be there. I suppose an invitation could say "NAME is invited to a party at PLACE, because party attendees' admission is paid for in advance, any familiy members wishing to stay will have to pay at the door." or " Due to confusion in the past, siblings are asked to remain with parents at all times." Something of that sort? As for the ending time, be specific, remind parents as they drop kids off, and get contact numbers for everyone as well and do not be afraid to call them up.

I have yet to ever leave my child(ren) at a party alone, but they're 3 years old and 21 months old, so I am guessing I have a good 3 more years before it becomes an issue. Actually, it may never become an issue as they both have multiple food allergies, and I will probably be calling up the host/hostess to ask if they wouldn't mind me helping and hanging around.

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Inviting 20 kids to a party? Wow - that's extreme. I grew up with 2 b-day party rules:
1) we had three kids in the family so birthday parties rotated - you got a "friend" party (as opposed to a family-only party) every third year. The only exception was the 16th b-day - you got a party no matter what year it was.
2) the number of invitations had to be your age or less. So at 7 I could invite 7 people.
And I don't recall having any "friend" parties before the age of 7.

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I thought this post was fabulous! I have 6 kids and I have thrown lots of birthday parties. My kids always just had 5 or 6 friends that they knew from church or school come to their parties, and most of the time, I knew the parents. If my child got invited to a party from some unknown kid, with no address on the invite, its going in the trash. Sometimes, you just have to come out and tell people kids only. I have taken my child to a party once and it was like an adult party and they were drinking! I was like what in the world is this. My daughter was having a good time with her friends but I sure as heck wasn't leaving her there! People sometimes just have no manners. Someone should seriously write some Birthday Party Manners to live by...

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"I had nobody to watch her on a weekday..... I stayed at the party and supervised both of my children. "

How is it that you had nobody to watch your child on a weekday while the other was a party, yet you were able to supervise both kids at the party? Couldn't you have supervised her at home just as well?

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I'm thinking you either get the parent to stay OR you get to avoid the siblings at a birthday party. If you get both, consider yourself fortunate.

Until my kids are much older - as in at least 8 or so - I don't think I'd leave them at a party without me, and I am sure not going to get a sitter for one child while I go to a party for the other one. Of course, that mean my extra kid and I may each eat a piece of cake and cut into the birthday budget, but I think that if you are going to have a birthday party at all, you need to assume that some miscellaneous family members are going to come. The only exception would be if the invitation clearly stated that whatever the party kids were doing was not open to extra kids.

That said, I would expect that the RSVP would include info on who all is coming.

The more I know about today's birthday parties, the more I don't want my kids to have them. Too much material focus. I think I would rather separate the two aspects of birthday parties and do them separately: (a) folks coming together to celebrate and (b) gift(s) for the child.

When I'm opening my house for a celebration, I feel I have to be prepared to accommodate anyone and everyone who accompanies my invitees. There may be all kinds of reasons why uninvited kids will end up at the party, and who am I to make anyone feel unwelcome? Actually I think it's kind of sad that so many people today are cynical about hosting guests. It used to be (and still is in some cultures) that guests are treated as gifts from God or even as God gracing our homes. What happened?

But as far as giving my own kid a particular experience he desires with his friends, a separate outing with a clearly controlled participant list may be the best route. For example, I buy x tickets or provide x seats in my car for my kid and her closest friends. But I wouldn't advertise that as a birthday party.

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ikate- I am amazed.
Since both children started school-there are no less than 20 classmates at ea party-my 12 yo had 57 classmates plus friends from other towns, relatives and some younger siblings (5yo friends allowed to attend and given their own activity w/ friend or family supervision)
Then, we add in the adults and family-we had almost 100 people there-and there would have been more-but some students were out of town.

I do not remember having a party so small as those here and there were 6 of us, and we had one every yr--that was part of the gifts.

Plus, we have small gatherings almost weekly, so a party should be big for the birthdays. I love the kids (mine and others)-

I see alot of parents who do not want to put in the effort or time it takes to organize a decent party, and the kids see it, too. I know some of the kids that come to our parties never have b-day parties of their own-that is why I do alot of it.

I must say that I always put on invites that gifts are not required or needed, if they want to bring a gift-there is a different time alotted for that..no gift opening at the actual parties. And , the older one has started requested donations in her name to local charities in place of gifts.
Her Mardi Gras celebration requested a non-perishable food donation for the food bank or a $ donation for it from ea attendee. And, all it took was two cans of veggies (maybe a $1.00). It is a great way to avoid someone feeling obligated to spend more than someone else. We ended up with enough food for 10 families--
The kids got the party and helped others at the same time.

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who drops their kids off at a birthday party and leaves? I mean, unless they are teens at a roller rink, even then, only maybe!! I hate the goodie bag hand outs even though I am guilty of doing the same. and I always invite siblings to parties too. I never invite children whose parents I do not know.

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