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Depression and parenting
Filed under: Just For Moms, Health & Safety: Babies, Development/Milestones: Babies, In The News
I'll admit it. The foreverness of this winter is getting to me. The lack of sun. The cold. Always having to put boots and jackets and hats and mittens on before going outdoors. In fact, I might be a tad depressed about it. SAD is no doubt saturating my pores. And if I were to be 100% honest, I've noticed that I've been less patient lately. More edgy. And so I am anxiously taking note of each indication of spring: the first buds on the trees; snow melt; mud.
But while my bout of winter depression is slated to end any day now--with the arrival of the first crocuses and the spring peepers in the swamps--parents with lasting depression are more likely to have increased hostility and a lack of warmth towards their children.
This new research is troubling because the shape of depression--or more accurately, it's lack of shape--makes it illusive and tricky to pin down and treat.
Many parents may be suffering from depression without really knowing it, while many others likely suffer but are unable to do anything about it. Low income parents in particular, who have inadequate health care at best, may be more likely to suffer from depression. And the result of this is that low income children, who many times struggle to reach the academic benchmarks of their more affluent peers (poor children have a 30 million word deficit by the age of 3), are also more likely to be struggling with the emotional distress of a parent who is hostile and less warm, which in turn affects the child's ability to get along with peers.
Regardless of income however, all parents can be susceptible to depression under the right circumstances. I can think of no other 'job' as challenging as caring for children, especially young ones, when sleep deprivation and tantrums are daily occurrences.
Have you suffered from depression as a parent? And how do you think depression affects the way parents interact with their kids?











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
3-24-2008 @ 11:00AM
the goddess anna said...My sons were born nearly 3 years ago, and I still see the lasting effects of the nearly two years worth of PPD I suffered (it took me over a year to seek help).
I feel guilt for not wanting to be in the NICU after my twins were born; both times I went, I vomited. I resented my children for destroying my metabolism, my body, my life, and even though the resentment is gone, it isn't really. I missed a lot of little things with my boys because I was too depressed to notice, and I find myself now overcompensating for my lack of earlier attention. I hate that every time I take a pill, my daughter thinks I'm 'taking a happy pill' and that I must be 'really sad' again. I walk a delicate line balanced on the edge of darkness and insanity, worrying that some little event will push me off the edge and further away my my kids.
The most guilt I feel is due to my reluctance to accept help. My husband literally dragged me into the hospital, and eventually it took a combo of medication, talk therapy, and group therapy to get me back on my feet (I now use meditation and yoga). I tell people that if they feel depressed, even if they're not sure it's real, to get screened. No mother or father should be found banging their head against a tile shower, trying to dull the pain of life. Our children need us too much.
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