Text messages -- limited or limitless?

I think I'm out of the parental-loop on this, but I don't see any reason that a 13-year-old should have a cell phone, except for except for emergency reasons. I think that any talking that needs to be done between friends, at that age, can be done on the house phone or online, with instant messaging. I understand that, when the child is out and about with his/her friends, it is nice for the child to have a phone to call their parents, or vice versa. But for day-to-day use? Nope, I don't think they need them. At least not until they are financially able to pay for the phone usage on their own.

JMO

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Having witnessed my now-16 yo niece and her cell phone habits for the last few years, I vote a big old fat NO on unlimited texting. I vote NO on anything but a very very limited cell plan at all.

My niece got to be very good at texting when it didn't look like she was doing it. She would hold the phone at these weird angles and didn't even have to LOOK at the phone to type. She would be texting practically 24/7. She would send and receive messages at all hours of the night. She could also talk on the phone in such a quiet voice (to teens have superhuman hearing now or something) that we didn't realize she was on the phone when we all stayed in a hotel room together, although my daughter later told me she had been on the phone most of the night.

Now, I know not everyone is my niece, and some kids can handle it. However, I think it is WAY too easy to abuse, and lots of kids may not understand limits on time or whatever. Giving a kid unlimited access could easily be problematic. Not to mention that even if she has unlimited, her friends might not, and she might end up racking up their bills!

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I'd have answered "Nope. Kids need to learn to budget and this is just another thing to budget." Unless she has a job that requires lots of texting, it's just a diversion. If I were to say, "yes", it would be with the condition that she pay for the unlimited time from her own funds. (But I wouldn't likely say "yes".)

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I’m with Kerri on this. I see no logical reason that a 13 year old needs a cell phone. None at all. Unless you are out in the world, working or involved in sports or away from home and on your own often, what in the world does a 13 year old need one for? The home phone is sufficient.

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I think the more important question should be: who's paying for the unlimited texting?

I appear to be in the minority in that I think teens SHOULD have cell phones... it's cheap piece of mind for parents that they can reach their kids at any time, some even come with gps that allows them to make sure they are where they say they are, make sure their friends aren't speeding etc: all good abilities. Even if you don't intend to spy on your kid it's nice for your kid to know you can (I'm cynical).

But as for what you actually pay for in your teen's plan that should be unlimited in-family plan communications (don't know how this works from plan to plan) and everything else should be pre-pay... by the teen. If an unlimited plan works out cheaper... great, they can pay for that instead.

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Nope.

I think it is more expedient for young people to learn how to speak to each other, write proper prose, and read literature. If they want to do things that are not educational, they can find their own way to finance it. When I was 13 it was Pac-Man. In addition to being a very good student, blah, blah, blah, I was the queen of Pac-Man. But my parents never felt they should support this passion. I paid for it with my paper route and babysitting earnings. The good thing about this is that my income was limited; thus although I was kinda addicted, I was able to quit before I needed to go to rehab. Otherwise, while I still would have tried to do all my homework and stuff, I would have gotten a lot less sleep; and I already survived on about 2.5 hours many nights.

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I see both sides of this. If a 13 year old already has a cell phone, and the parents already have no trouble paying the bill and she's a good student and spends time with her family, and behaves like she should be, and doesn't run up the bill, andit would cost the same or less to change to an unlimited plan, I see no problem. However, I also don't feel that a 13 year old necessarily needs a phone. They don't drive by themselves or with friends at this age, and unless they're going somewhere unsupervised with no plan for when/where to meet for a ride home I don't know why they'd need to use one.

My only piece of true advice would be to ensure that the unlimited texting option could be taken away in some way on the off chance that it becomes an abused privilige. Plan and discuss groundrules and proposed punishments if things get out of hand, and stick to them. Cell phones and texting are privliges, not rights.

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When, exactly, is she doing all this unlimited texting? During classes at school? At the dinner table? There is absolutely no reason a 13 yr old should have an unlimited anything. Possibly a cell phone that connects to Mom, Dad, 911, and whomever else Mom and Dad program. Maybe I'm naive, since my kids are 3 and 5, but how often is she going to be without adult supervision? If she is tieing up the house phone, get a second line.

But, my answer would be unequivocally, NO.

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My question is what to do about friends who don't follow the text message rules you have set for your child? I can see by the numbers used every month that the outgoing ones are within reason, but the incoming ones are totally out of control.

I am a single parent and am on an extremely limited budget. I cannot afford anything but the basic plan we're on. But I have felt the need for my child (14 year-ld) to have that phone to have quicker and easier contact. She has repeatedly asked her friends to stop texting her, but it is only getting worse. On the last bill, just the cost for the text message overage was as much as the entire bill for both of our phones combined. I simply cannot afford this any more and feel forced to contact the other kids myself.

My question is whether I should contact the kids or their parents. What do others think would be most appropriate? Thanks.

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im am 14 and have unlimited texting. i think its a great thing to be able to communicate with my friends without having to worry about going over my limit. since im homeschooled i dont often get to see my friends except maybe once a week on weekends. usually unlimited text plans are not much more expensive then a 400 or so text plan, and much less expenxive then the individual cost of textz if your child were to go over. in my opinion many parents don't realize how important friends are to their teenagers. i have a cell phone with unlimeted texting and unlimited calls on nights and weekends, a laptop that has an AIM account, myspace, facebook. and i use these alot but i also make room for my school work, chores, reading, etc. my parents make sure i don't text during dinner or while im supposed to be doing homework (most of the time, lol) and i think im pretty responsible with it. my nine year old brother also has this plan, granted it was because he and i usually need to be fairly equal but he does use his texting occasionally. I think its very important for friends to be able to stay in touch and texting is a great way to do so.

mariah

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Having thirteen year old sisters myself, whom are beyond honor level (they are the top students in their school), and girls that text frequently... I think it's fine. I have unlimited text messages myself and remain an honor student in college.

It is not the amount of communication that the child is engaged in but the time period that they are engaging in it and whether or not they are doing it to an unhealthy level. Kids like to talk to one another, it's just a fact of nature. Sending idle jokes back and forth or chatting with their friends is a normal teenage behavior and it is far from a bad thing.

If the child is trusted by the parent, if the child is responsible and if they are not suffering grade-wise why should they be limited?

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Also, might I add, I want to know what thirteen year old kid can hold down a job, legally, in the US. I know my sisters can't and so is it their fault they cannot pay for it?

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Regarding texting and my step-sons. We had limited texting for our twin boys, age 12, will be 13 next month. They agreed that they would not go over their limit of 300 messages a month. - About 5 a day in and 5 a day out. We discussed the possibility of blocking texting if they went over their allotted minutes. Around the middle of the month I checked with them to see how they were doing with texting. They both assured me that they were keeping it under control and that they had discussed it with their friends. When I finally paid the bill, I found that one boy had not used texting at all while the other one had run up $200 in overage on texting. That meant that he had gone over his messages 700 times both ways - in and out. When I confronted him, he had nothing to say - no apology, nothing. He was more mad that I'd blocked texting and not sorry that he went over. The next month's bill showed another $75 worth of texting that had gone into the next month before it was blocked.

It was several days before he eventually apologized and then it was only because when his mother came to get him for a weekend that she made him apologize.

It is very convenient for us that they have the phone, though one really probably doesn't need it as he rarely uses it - but we really couldn't get one a phone and the other one not have a phone. But as far as I'm concerned, texting makes no sense, and for us it would be an extra $40 a month for unlimited texting. Money that could be put to good use for them elsewhere.

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I am 16 years old and i think that this unlimited texting is ridiculous. I use about 250 texts a month. I have friends that send btween 5,000 to 10,000 a month. I am extremely social and have a ton of friends. If i have something important to talk about with someone I will call them and it takes about half the time that texting a whole conversation does. Teens dont realize how much they are missing out on when they are constantly texting. It is crazy to me that teens will text while they are with other friends. Hopefully this is a dumb trend but i sort of think it is here to stay.

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Hi i have a cell phone altho i did not get my OWN cell phone tell i was 20 on a family plan never texted untell i got my OWN plan when i was 22. at that time i texted here and there. but once i have a girlfriend lol thats what went wrong it got so bad that i would text at work. one month resently i got my bill and i did combinded sent/received messages were 100,741. i will say thats is WAY TOO MUCH. altho i can hold two conversations at onces maybe three. i can look around and still text.

But getting to the point here if i was a parent i would not let my child get her OWN cell phone untell she was employed or had a job to pay for the bill. i understand when he/she is out with there friends and want to call to say im ready to come home and use the parents thats okay. also resently i heard from a mother at a concert that her daughter has a cell phone they she says for and her daughter only uses it for texted and dose not talk on it. i mean why have the phone when you don't even talk on it. least i talk on mine! my cousin who is 16 she has has a cell phone i think since she was like about 14 and she is really big with texting. she is on it all the time. i don't know how she dose it she even has a full keyboard on her phone. i have a hard time even with mine sometimes.

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