The mesmerizing effects of the butt-pat

by Linda Lee (Subscribe to Linda Lee's posts) Mar 25th 2008 9:00AM

Categories: Newborns, Babies, Development

When Riley was a baby he hated tummy time with the hateful fire of a thousand hating suns, and since I sort of disliked the entire concept of making my baby cry on purpose I wasn't entirely good about that whole 30 minutes a day thing. Sure enough, his head morphed into a shape you might technically call "flat", although that sounds pretty extreme. Let's just say "not entirely round".

Eventually he turned out just fine headshape-wise, but I've been trying to be better about Dylan's enforced tummy time. Because lord knows I do love taking a perfectly content infant and making them unhappy as all hell.

While Dylan doesn't seem to like being placed on his belly any more than his brother did (the exception to this is lying facedown on one of his parents' chests, which he loves), I've noticed that I can minimize his grouchiness if I sit next to him and pat his butt the whole time. Sometimes he likes slow, steady pats (pat. pat. pat. pat), sometimes he likes a vigorous series of pats (patpatpatpatpatpat); either way he usually stops fussing and can sometimes be lulled to sleep. At which point I can stop feeling bad for making my child uncomfortable and start feeling bad about the potential danger of him napping on his belly, argh.

I seem to remember Riley liking the butt pat, too. What's UP with that, I wonder? Did your baby like being patted on their diapered little tush?

Comments (19)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

JJ 3-25-2008 @ 9:26AM

The lovely Butt Pat, Oh how I miss it. When he'd be sleeping iwth me after daddy left for work, it was my snooze alarm. One feeding and right back to sleep with pats, and then next waking was the start of the day! Now we're 3 years old and how I wish I could pat that butt and make him sleep again....maybe just during nap time. But yes, I loved the butt pat!

BabyLove77 3-25-2008 @ 9:49AM

The Butt Pat and my thumb stroking her forehead, either side to side or straight down her nose.

Amy 3-25-2008 @ 10:12AM

When my oldest was little, I confessed to a friend of a friend that we didn't do tummy time, because it made her scream like we were killing her. The FOAF said, "OMG, if you don't do tummy time she'll NEVER learn to hold her head up!!" At that point I had had it with stupid advice (isn't that one of the best parts of having a second? Greatly reduced stupid advice!) and said, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! How many kindergarteners do you know who can't hold up their heads??"

She and I don't talk much, anymore.

Anyway, I don't believe in tummy time, haven't done it with either of my kids, and they are both fully normal and at 2.5 and 1 can both hold up their heads. I attribute their beautifully round heads to the fact that they both spent the vast majority of their first years either being held or in slings. I also don't let them sleep in the same position over and over - because I nurse them (all freaking night), they have to turn their heads to switch sides.

It's the babies who sleep in the same position all day and all night who get plagiocephaly. The ones who find a favorite position, and don't sleep in any other - not the ones who don't do tummy time. 30 minutes of tummy time a day isn't going to prevent plagiocephaly in a kid who constantly sleeps in one position, and it isn't going to correct plagiocephaly in a kid who needs a corrective device (like a helmet).

(Insert lots of comments about how I've abused my kids by not doing tummy time, and how they're never going to amount to anything as a result, below).

Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

Jessica 3-25-2008 @ 10:24AM

I didn't force tummy time. I tried. But, like you LInda, I hated to purposely make an infant cry. I did try multiple tummy-time mats that had all kinds of fun things to look at and little shelves to hold them up. Still didn't work.

The butt-pat always worked for the daycare provider, but I never could get it right. I know, who can'd do a butt-pat, right? Me, apparently. Guess I have absolutely no rhythm. If I try the butt-pat now, at 2.5, she looks at me and politely asks me to rub her back :)

Ethel 3-25-2008 @ 10:55AM

Tummy time is difficult - I gave it up in favor of holding and toting babies all freaking day long.

But the butt pats we call "Going to Spankytown" and even now they like it. Course, now it has evolved into rough housing though, but it's still enjoyed. I guess when you don't employ physical punishment it comes out in other ways...

Andrea 3-25-2008 @ 11:07AM

Sometimes the butt pat is the only thing that will get my baby girl to go to sleep. Short of getting in the gas guzzling SUV and driving around needlessly for a few hours. Which for obvious reasons I try not to do.

ARJ 3-25-2008 @ 11:24AM

We hated tummy time, too, and hardly ever did it. I reasoned that lying on our chests counted.

In answer to your question, though, our pediatrician actually suggested the butt pat to help us through tummy time. He said that babies can't focus on more than one thing at once and if you pat their butts, they get distracted by that and forget they should be complaining about being on their tummies.

Eric's Mommy 3-25-2008 @ 11:27AM

YES! My son loved the butt pat! He also hated tummy time too, he would scream the whole time.

Allstarme79 3-25-2008 @ 11:48AM

My son, now 7 months, still loves this. If he's having a hard time falling asleep even though he's ridiculously tired, this will definitely do the trick.

kim 3-25-2008 @ 11:55AM

My son loved the butt pat and for a while it was the only way he could get to sleep. Hell, I still love to have MY butt patted, it is just comforting & rhythmical and it's hard to pat your OWN butt, so it is kinda like having that spot on your back scratched that you can't reach.
Tummy time was tough for a lot of us it seems like, my son hated it too, so we didn't do TOO much of it. BUT, he is 18 mos old and can TOTALLY hold up his head, among other things. He even does the "'Sup?" head nod at me.

GIA 3-25-2008 @ 12:04PM

Well if you think about it the last few weeks or months the baby is head down. which means butt up in the womb and the heart revirbirates(excuse my spelling) in the womb. So for the last few weeks or months they are getting steadily patted by your hearts vibrations on their tush.

My kids almost always slept on their side or tummy as babies. A majority of the time they wouldnt sleep unless I put them on their tummy. I also slept with them on my chest alot. Sometimes it was the only way either of us could get to sleep. I know that people say that that is bad for the baby, understandable, I dont think everyone can do it. I'm a tosser and turner when I sleep but when I slept with one of my babies I never budged for some reasen. I suppose unconsciencely I knew in my sleep not to turn. I don't know, It's not for everyone. But don't feel guilty for a nap on the tummy, it all depends on what your baby likes and feels comfortable with.

Eva 3-25-2008 @ 1:55PM

Yes, butt patting is very nice. I still do it to my toddler. Pat pat. Also, my understanding is that "tummy time" includes if they are supported sitting in your lap, that kind of thing--any time they are not flat on their backs.

C 3-25-2008 @ 2:54PM

My son didn't mind tummy time too much, but the butt pats were invaluable for getting him to sleep.

The one trick I can offer to make tummy time better is this: most babies LOOOOVE being naked. So, if you combine tummy time with naked time, that can sometimes improve things if your baby hates being on his stomach.

SKL 3-25-2008 @ 4:23PM

My girls get their "beats" regularly. The other vitamin B.

As far as tummy time, it probably makes gross motor things happen faster on average, but how important is that? Now your kid can run in the street or fall down the stairs long before he can understand why it's better not to. My kids didn't get tummy time, and it probably delayed their walking milestone by about 3 months. But they have great small-muscle control, both talked early, they are all-around healthy, bright kids. Our home is relatively peaceful because by the time my girls figure out how to get at something, I'm able to teach them what they may and may not touch / do, rather than chase them and yell "no-no, no-no" all day long. I'm still trying to figure out why I should feel badly that they haven't yet started climbing on my furniture and getting at everything that isn't attached to the ceiling. Or that my wee one holds sustained concentration on books at an age when many kids are jumping from one kind of mischief to another just because they can. That said, if I'd had them with me as infants, I would have tried to make tummy time work up to a point. But not to the point of making them scream.

CLM 3-25-2008 @ 5:17PM

Butt-pats always make my little guys smile. I don't know if it's the sound or what, but it makes them happy.

isisaquaria 3-25-2008 @ 5:19PM

All 4 have had tummy-time. My 12yo slept on her tummy as soon as she could roll over to her stomach herself-I got tired of flipping her back over. The 5yo wouldn't sleep on her back @ all, again I got tired of trying. The twins- by force of medical intervention will sleep on the back, but she prefers the tummy-he the back.

The butt-pat is amazing and still works on my 5yo if she is feeling unwell. I used to work in daycare (b4 kids)--and at naptime, the four girls in the toddler room looked like we were playing bongos on tiny hineys.

And for those who will berate me for tummy sleepers-I called several drs-and all said as long as they wanted to roll over--let them. Except for the newbies-they are too little-they 6wks early, so they shouldn't be here yet.

Sarah M. 3-25-2008 @ 6:37PM

Chest to chest time is tummy time ;) so you are good!

David Robinson 3-25-2008 @ 8:02PM

As a retired pediatrician, when Iwas much younger I and my colleagues had never heard of "tummy time" and none of our patients had delays in lifting their heads. We did see flat backs to heads and plagiocephaly but they all grew out of it when they adopted the upright position. I have only ever seen 1 adult with plagiocephaly and that was so mild, he had to point out to me and he is a very successful doctor. I certainly don't think it is worth half an hour of tummy time if that means 30 minutes of unhappiness.

juliebeth 3-29-2008 @ 3:42PM

oh yes! the butt pat! it always works. uncle paul in action:

How To Submit Photos:
If you'd like your children (any age will do!) featured on ParentDish, upload photos into the ParentDish Flickr Pool. Be sure to read our main Flickr page for more information.