Except you're not considered a geriatric patient until you are 35 and up, so really your friend's doc was off by 2 years.

What killed me is when I had my kids, the first time it was a c-section and a (young) 20 something told me I'd recover easily from loosing a liter of blood becuase "You're young." I was 33.

And then my second (VBAC) a nurse asked me "How old are you? What, 12?" I struggled a bit since I don't think about it much and muttered "Uh, I'm.... 34 years old." She stopped talking after that.

Okay, whatever!

Reply

Almost all the woman in my family had kids over the age of 33. My mother in 1979, had her first and only child at the age of 33 (which just for the first poster, her name is Ethel too!)

My fathers mother had a child at 50, and that was in the 60's, and my mother's mom had a child at 37.

why is it such a huge deal now when 40 years ago they were doing this too?

Reply

I turned 35 during my first pregnancy. Believe me, when they scrawl "AMA" (advanced maternal age) across all your records, and you have to go in for extra doctor's appointments, you really do feel old!

Reply

Me personally I had my child when I was 32..had him on my birthday. I was glad that I waited until then to have my boy. I felt like I could be a better mother. Now I am 37 and probably will be having another one in the next 2 years. I see nothing wrong with it. Now I gotta say I don't want to 45 or so popping out babies, but that is just me personally.

Reply

I had my first child at 36. My doctor gave me the "you are at risk because of your age speech", which upset me very much. I felt he wanted to put fear in me and make me feel bad. It was my first, I didn't know what to expect..I don't feel the doctor had the right to be so negative based on statistics. Doctors should lighten up if all is fine...He made what should have been a pleasant experience very difficult every time a test or appt. came up...Since there is a possibility of having a 2nd. I have changed doctors.

Reply

I remember when I had my youngest at 34, it seemed so strange to be called old. That seems young to me now.

When I went in to the Emergency at 49 years old, hemorrhaging from a surprise pregnancy at 8 weeks along, the triage nurse looked at my age on my chart, and then looked at me like I was crazy. She didn't believe I really was pregnant, said, "No, you can't be. Are you sure??" Umm, yes, I had betas & u/s to prove it...

Thanks so much for the mention of my pregnancy stories website! I originally started it because I got tired of being told it was impossible to get pregnant over 40, without medical help.

I didn't understand this, since from personal experience, friends and family, and reading stories online - I knew that not only was it possible, but that it happened more than fertility doctors will admit to.

So I went looking for 100 stories to prove my point. Now I have a collection of 4,550 stories and still growing!

Catherine, from http://pregnancystories.blogspot.com

Reply

My mother had me when she was 40; I'm the eldest of two. She said that at the time it was extremely unusual and that she had fears that her decision would result in birth defects. I think it's awesome that she was such a trailblazer for older parents :)

Before I decided against children, I wanted to wait until later to have kids. My mother has done everything and been everywhere and I wanted to make sure I had no regrets about having children at a young age. It also greatly affected their parenting style as well, because they were very aware of the fact that they would not be around as long as other parents, so we were taught to be independent and resourceful from a very young age. I am very grateful for it.

But now that they are older, it's been tough. They seemed to have aged overnight and as a result of poor financial planning, bad luck with their health, and the lack of a support system within our extended family or family friends, my sister and I became their providers and caregivers at 20 and 18. It was tough. Speaking as a child of older parents, I would advise those choosing to wait to have children to take some extra precautions with their health and with their money.

Reply

I'm 19 and now 17 weeks pregnant of my first child. I have young parents myself, my mom is 40 and my dad is 45, and it's much more fun having young parents. Me and my mum wear each other's clothes, we even go partying together. Because they knew (know) what it was to be young, I was always let free to do what I wanted, and my parents supported my every decision. I can tell a lot more things why it's fun having young parents, but the main reason : my parents can watch their grandchildren grow up, and maybe their children. And I can do the same with my children.

I notice the big difference with my parents and the parents of my partner. His parents are 50 and 60 something, and they're from a total different generation. He can't do this, he can't do that. His parents wouldn't let him or his sister go out before they were 16, they got their first cellphone almost in last class of high school, they couldn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend... They're very conservative too, as in 'no sex before marriage' (oops...). And he's only 3 years older than me!

So, I believe it's better to get kids young : more fun for the kids, and for the parents too. I would be ashamed to say to a friend : 'I'm 20, and my mum is 60...'

Reply