The way the kid bounces
Categories: Kids 5-7, Development
In preparation for our big move to the east coast, we spent last week in New York looking for a place to call home. Ellie and I roamed around the tri-state area, meeting real estate agents and looking at houses. We took taxis, trains and cars and exhausted ourselves trying to see as much as possible in a short period of time.
Ellie didn't particularly enjoy all this traipsing around, but I insisted that she join me. I wanted her to be involved in the process of deciding where we will live. I wanted her to feel like she had input and that her opinions mattered. I asked her to take an active role and she did - asking questions, expressing her likes and dislikes and generally being very grown-up about the whole thing.
Since we announced that we are moving, I've often heard the standard "kids are resilient, she'll bounce right back" encouragement. And while I generally agree with that, I also know there are many different directions in which she could bounce. Leaving friends behind and starting over somewhere new can be intimidating even for an adult. By including her as much as possible, I am hoping to give her a sense of self-worth and confidence that will serve her well when she is a stranger in a strange place.
For now, this is all I can think to do to help her cope with this huge change in her life. What about you? Do you have experience and advice to share about easing the pain of moving away?
Ellie didn't particularly enjoy all this traipsing around, but I insisted that she join me. I wanted her to be involved in the process of deciding where we will live. I wanted her to feel like she had input and that her opinions mattered. I asked her to take an active role and she did - asking questions, expressing her likes and dislikes and generally being very grown-up about the whole thing.
Since we announced that we are moving, I've often heard the standard "kids are resilient, she'll bounce right back" encouragement. And while I generally agree with that, I also know there are many different directions in which she could bounce. Leaving friends behind and starting over somewhere new can be intimidating even for an adult. By including her as much as possible, I am hoping to give her a sense of self-worth and confidence that will serve her well when she is a stranger in a strange place.
For now, this is all I can think to do to help her cope with this huge change in her life. What about you? Do you have experience and advice to share about easing the pain of moving away?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
CLM 3-31-2008 @ 5:38PM
I'm a gov. brat, so we moved ALL the time. When I was younger, my parents would take me by my new school so I could get an idea of where it was and how to get around. They also signed me up right away for some type of activity (t-ball, ballet, etc.) so I would meet kids my own age. As I got older, when possible, they would take me house-hunting with them. I don't recall feeling particularly intimidated by the moves, but I do remember that one important thing to me was learning how to get back to my new house from various points in the new neighborhood.
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Nancy 3-31-2008 @ 7:43PM
When we moved we let our son decorate his new room so it would feel more "his". This helped him adjust to a new house. We also spent a lot of time wandering around the neighborhood on foot talking to all the people who lived in the area. During our walks we met adults who were very helpful and also kids. The adults who didn't have kids were kind enough to tell us where kids about my son's age lived. This way (even though it took us about 3 times as long to get unpacked) my son had friends to play with and knew how to get around the new neighborhood.
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Sandyone 4-01-2008 @ 9:35AM
My 6 time veteran 13 year old recommends making a video of Ellie and her friends. We also have been given photo albums as parting gifts.
Neighborhood walks are excellent.
I'm sure there's a Kid's Guide To NYC (or maybe near the area you guys are moving). There is a fantastic website for NJ field trips. Sure wish I could remember the name of it for you!
Ellie is sensitive, so you'll have to strike a balance between her fears/loss and an optimistic outlook. Yeah, you have to consider her feelings, but she also should learn that life happens, things change and it's not the end of the world. I have found this balance difficult to achieve!!!!
Also, know for yourself that it takes about a year to get settled. I was bound and determined to get settled quickly with this last move. It's just not something that can be rushed, as I learned the hard way this time.
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