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The ongoing TV hiatus
Filed under: Toddlers Preschoolers, Development/Milestones: Babies, That's Entertainment
It's been a couple weeks since we cut Riley off from the television altogether, and I never thought I'd say this but it's been one of the best moves we've ever made, parenting-wise. I realize not everyone agrees that it was a good idea to flat-out lie to him about the situation (brief recap: we told him it was broken) instead of setting boundaries and rules -- my in-laws, who visited recently, were also of the opinion that we should just tell him when he can and cannot watch TV instead of making up a story to avoid conflict -- but let me just say this: the TV is never an issue now. He never asks for it, we never argue about it, it's simply something that's no longer part of his routine in any way. As far as I'm concerned, this is a very good thing, as it allows me lots more time to argue with him about how much juice he can drink instead.
I've never been an anti-TV-for-kids person and I'm still not -- hell, television taught my son to recognize and sound out the alphabet, thanks to this video -- but the MIA boob tube sure is working out nicely at the moment. Tantrums have decreased, and, well, I hesitate to say this because it seems sort of controversial, but I swear to god his speech and capacity for pretend play have noticeably improved. We spend lots of time talking about the imaginary things he's doing or thinking about (you might almost say an annoying amount of time, if you were kind of an asshole parent. Hi!), and he's talking up a STORM.
Plus, no Noggin soundtrack to bore into my skull during the day. Steve, I like you, you seem like a good egg, but I do not miss your Thinking Chair song.
So, no TV for him = a good thing, for us, for now. But will he be mainlining as many DVDs as possible when we embark on a 7-hour drive to Oregon later this month? You bet your bippy.
Do any of you have rules for how long/when your kids can watch TV? What works best for you?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 3)
4-01-2008 @ 9:35AM
Sandyone said...Our cable went out back in December (the morning of our big Army-Navy party...we couldn't watch it). We haven't bothered to fix it and I am loving it. I am probably the biggest TV offender/addict in my family and I still miss it, especially during my late-term pregnancy insomnia. However, I'm so happy not to have to argue over "just one more Suite Life, Mom?"
We still have videos and DVDs going, but those are a finite source.
Everything doesn't have to be a battle. We don't stock the pantry with crap and then dole it out as a discipline training tool. We have some crap in the pantry and it's kept out of sight. It comes out when WE want it out.
I try to never compromise my integrity. Once you do, it's easier the next time. I'll always try to give an honest explanation/answer, but sometimes the best thing for a kid is the most direct/simple/understandable explanation.
"well, I hesitate to say this because it seems sort of controversial, but I swear to god his speech and capacity for pretend play have noticeably improved."
I don't know about the speech, but the pretend play ability should have absolutely no controversy surrounding it. Better relationships with siblings has also been extremely obvious around here.
Reply
4-01-2008 @ 9:32AM
Rob O. said...I really don't understand why the concept of a road trip sans DVDs is so incomprehensible.
When most of us were kids, there was no in-car movies or video gaming. Heck, we didn't even listen to the radio! We were allowed to bring along a couple of books and a few small toys and that was that.
Maybe I'm off on a tangent here, but the fact that most parents feed into (and encourage, through action) their children's desire for immediate entertainment gratification may very well be one of the contributing factors for some of the disorders, such as ADHD, that're plaguing our society now.
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4-01-2008 @ 12:32PM
tall.princess said...I agree here... I remember great road trips with my family (going back to as young as 4 I remember) w/o DVDs or any other electronics. I can't understand why parents now think that "OMG we're going to food shopping (insert store here) and we have to put a DVD in for a 5 min car ride." Do kids really not know how to entertain themselves at all anymore.... do they not know how to to look at books, sing songs in the car, converse with their parents, etc?
4-01-2008 @ 9:36AM
Alicia said...I limit my children to 30-60 mins. a day. They are 7, 5, and 3. Usually it is right after school (In the morning for the 3 year old.)
TV hasn't been a problem in our house. We have it in our family room.
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4-01-2008 @ 9:38AM
Alicia said...And that just shows your ignorance on the condition of ADHD.
Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe ADD & ADHD (and they are different) have been around forever, but because of the way that our society works today not only is it recongnized, but now it can be treated?
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4-01-2008 @ 10:52AM
Meagan said...Studies show a correlation between tv watching and adhd. This may be simply because of the growing recognition of adhd rather than a result of tv watching, but choosing to interpret the data in the most obvious way does not make someone ignorant.
4-01-2008 @ 12:33PM
Alicia said...They (and you) obviously don't have a child with the condidtion. I do.
So tell me how him, not watching tv until 3 (We didn't own one), and for 30-60 mins. a day since caused his ADHD?
4-01-2008 @ 12:56PM
Mel said...Alicia, please try to grasp the notion of correlation vs. causation. Nobody has said that your son has ADD because he watched tv as a child. What has been said is that some studies have shown a CONNECTION between tv-watching and ADD. You seem to eschew these studies based merely on the fact that your child did not watch tv yet has ADD. That is not at all inconsistent with the studies; remember, there is only a CORRELATION. As in: when one variant increases, another variant tends to increase. You seem mighty defensive. Nobody is blaming you.
4-01-2008 @ 3:30PM
angela said...I'm not a fan of TV-as-babysitter, nor am I a fan of DVDs in cars. But TV does not contribute to ADD/ADHD/whatever it's being called these days. It is simply a chemical imbalance in the brain caused by the body's inability to process certain foods. That is all.
4-02-2008 @ 7:58AM
Sandyone said...Actually, I have a little theory on ADD/ADHD. Our nation was founded by people who couldn't sit still/wouldn't put up with the status quo.
I suspect that if we brought the first colonists and the founding fathers (and many of our great, early scientists), they'd all be labeled with ADD/ADHD. Back then, it was a valuable skill. Today, with our technologically advanced, sit still and listen classrooms, ADD/ADHD is the kiss of death.
It's just a theory, though.
4-01-2008 @ 10:09AM
Anita said...Our TV is in our basement and no one ever wants to go down there so the kids (5 and 8) don't ask to watch it. They never really have so I can't say if it has helped or hindered them in any way. They do spend a lot of time on the computer playing games and I am trying to figure out if I care and if that should be limited.
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4-01-2008 @ 9:53AM
Shawna said...My 2 yo LOVES TV... and that's why we try not to let her watch it very much. If we get seduced by the idea of "only 15 minutes in the morning while she's eating her breakfast" in order to get ourselves ready for work, the result is invariably a meltdown when we turn it off. Solution: no TV in the mornings if we have to go anywhere. We haven't set daily time limits but we do indulge her with a movie (she loves Stuart Little) or couple of short shows in the mornings on weekends.
Weekday evenings she sees TV if one of us turns it on to watch it while the other's getting dinner ready, but we choose shows that won't warp her little mind like Friends re-runs or house-flipping shows. It's actually a bonus that these are totally boring to her. I expect even these won't be watched much as soon as the weather improves.
As an aside, if I could find Sesame Street I'd probably let her watch it, but where the heck is it? I've never seen it in our local cable listings. Surely it's still around?
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4-01-2008 @ 11:25PM
Jess said...It's on PBS. Good ol PBS. Not on cable. Check there.
4-01-2008 @ 10:01AM
laura said...We don't have cable--that helps a lot. So for our 2.5 yr old it is PBS and DVDs from the library. He is pretty much only interested in Thomas the tank engine and Sesame Street. He will rarely sit still and watch anything, and usually needs/demands mommy and daddy to watch with him. So, after 10 minutes (approx 2 thomases) when he's moved on to something else, we turn it off.
I think Linda does know that ADD & ADHD is a condition not induced by television, but as a former teacher, I have to say that a LOT of kids have a hard time concentrating and sitting still but will soothe with a creepy Pavlovian-like ease if you turn a television or computer monitor their way. And I too believe this has to do with too much tv, video games, etc.
Way to go, Linda! I applaud you for not using the TV to distract Riley while you're tied up with the baby.
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4-01-2008 @ 10:06AM
laura said...Shawna--where I live Sesame street is on from 7-8 am weekdays. Also, there is a Sesame Street podcast ... you can find it from iTunes podcasts if you search through PBS. And there's lots of Sesame Street DVDs at our library.
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4-01-2008 @ 11:34AM
Shawna said...Thanks laura! I never thought to check the library for DVDs. I'm going to look at their online catalogue right now.
4-01-2008 @ 10:27AM
Christina said...We did the same thing with TV - stopped cold turkey and it also stopped temper tantrums/bad behavior. He is allowed to watch a show each weekend day. We also ended up going back to 10 minutes a morning of one show to get the kiddo dressed when he was going through a rough patch. I think it is important to set rules and parameters. My parents completely go rid of cable in the early 80s because of MTV (so old fashioned no!?) And we survived with many lovely TV and non TV memories alike. We still saw shows that were popular but it was limited to the ones we could get in. Finally, we do not watch the TV in front of him or tempt him with that. He knows we watch it after he has gone to bed and we have talked about that with him. Mostly I think about the whole live by example thing. If we get out to exercise, garden, play with our son he will understand you can balance some TV with other enjoyable activities. It is amazing to see the difference!
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4-01-2008 @ 10:55AM
Meagan said...Don't feel guilty. It's obviously working for you.
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4-01-2008 @ 11:34AM
Dawn said...When we cut off the TV we noticed the same thing - decrease in temper tantrums, playing in a much more thought out and extended way and a definite improvement in not only her speech but her vocabulary. We still give her a few hours a week but now she seems to enjoy it and isn't upset when it's turned off.
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4-01-2008 @ 12:29PM
try2doitall said...My two (12 and 9) are not allowed tv during the week. Saturday at dads is a tv free-for-all so Sunday at moms is games, books, outside, and fun. We might watch a mom approved movie, but as a rule Saturday is the only day they get tv and with both of them having high grades and top reading scores, I think it is working.
As a kid my parents didn't even own a tv until I was 12 and it didn't kill me. My kids will survive.
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