Tips for raising charitable children
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Do you give? When are were you taught to do so as a child? Do your children? But, how exactly do we create a culture of giving in the home?
It doesn't start the way I think about it--that scene from Mommy Dearest where Mommy makes Christina give all her presents from her birthday to the needy children, except for one. After a struggle she is allowed to keep two presents, but not without building in resentment. So how does one do it, the right way?
Well, the tips provided by MSN Lifestyle's Home Sweet Home are a good start. Kid getting a new toy? How about encouraging him or her to part with an older one (still in good condition, only gently loved or used). Do the same with clothes. Also mentioned is to demonstrate giving by buying a few extra canned goods for a food drive when doing the regular grocery shopping. Giving, like anything else, it says, is a habit--something that is formed over time with repetition.
Another suggestion is to take cash--from presents or allowance--and split it into savings, charity and personal spending money. Now there's a way to teach kids about money! If only my parents had employed that. I did have a piggy bank, but this is totally different. They did always give to charity and to our church though. An addendum to that tip is to match the gift that your child makes. Now that would be something!
Yet another good suggestion is to allow your child make the choice of whom to give a special gift around the holidays. Angel trees and other programs used to help children in need around the holidays can add something extra to your child's holiday spirit and understanding of giving when he or she gets to help another child.
The idea is that if you plant the seeds of giving now, your children will grow to understand what giving is all about, appreciate what they have, and take care to share with others who are less fortunate than they are. It's the ultimate form of sharing, in a way, and makes good sense to teach our children.
Mommy Dearest's approach? Not sure it instilled much but anger and hostility in her daughter, even though perhaps her mother was trying to do the right thing.
What say you to these tips? Worth it, or trying too hard? Are there other, better ways to teach our children about the art and joy of giving?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
SKL 4-01-2008 @ 9:35PM
Personally, I think it would be best to model charitable giving by simply giving to charity yourself, and letting your kids know what you are doing and why. Also, sharing books with the child where charitable giving is an important part of the story.
I don't believe that giving because you had to, were guilted into it, were paid by Mom and Dad to do it, or are using Mom and Dad's money to do it is charity. The urge to give can and will arise on its own, if a child simply knows what charity is, and is aware of charitable opportunities that he/she can participate in. When the opportunity and motivation do arise, it's important to make sure the child is able to see the positive results of his/her gift. No reward, praise, etc., is necessary; knowledge of having done a kindness is more than enough.
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Sherry 4-02-2008 @ 3:38AM
I agree with SKL on this one. Live it yourself, let them know about it, and your kids will learn it.
I don't like the idea of forcing my kids to donate or give up their stuff or bribing them to give to others or taking a percentage of any money they get as gifts for charity or any of that. If someone did that to me I would be really pissed off and less inclined to be charitable because I would probably feel rather resentful.
I want them to learn to give because it makes them feel good to help others, not because I forced them or brided them or guilted them into it, even if the way it is done is clever.
I also try to focus on this the whole year. So many people just do this sort of stuff around Christmas, but there are needy people in July too.
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Karen 4-02-2008 @ 2:34PM
With all of the economy stories on the news, there will be more and more news stories about an increase need for food stamps, etc. I suggest making your child aware (age appropriate of course) while making sure they still feel secure in their own life.
And then I agree with those above. Model charitable giving. It doesn't have to be money. There is also a need for giving time, effort and energy. Also, it is good to model compassion for those that are in unfortunate situations. So often we ignore people who are struggling. Or if it is friends that are now going through tough time, they often avoid us out of embarassment. Make sure that your children see you being compassionate and not judgemental about their circumstances. There are plenty of other opportunities to teach them the value of hard work, etc.
I have found that with my children, if they are made aware of someone that is in need, they often try to come up with ways to help on their own.
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Tree 4-03-2008 @ 2:40PM
I like your suggestions. I use the donating gently used toys idea when trying to scale down the massive amount of toys they accumulate throughout the year. (love the relatives but it's just so much!)When I explained to them that there were children who don't get toys like they do, and asked them to pick some toys that they loved but were ready to give them a new home and let another child love it, they did it willingly. They even picked toys that I thought they'd never part with. They really got into it. I think children have a greater capacity for charity than adults do sometimes.
I also think example is important and try to give my own things along with them.
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