Keeping the clutter down: present-free birthday party
Categories: Kids 5-7, Holidays, Development, That's entertainment
One of my son's kindergarten friends recently had a birthday party with a unique request: No gifts, please.
Instead of adding to an already massive menagerie of stuffed animals and plethora of plasticized playthings, attendees were asked to simply to include a list of their favorite books or movies inside a birthday card to give the birthday girl and her mother some new treasures to search for in the library and video store.
Changing the focus of the party from the accumulation of unnecessary goods to a special time spent with friends (with cake and games!) made it a less harried affair for everyone involved. The birthday girl wasn't inundated with junk and parents of attendees didn't have to aimlessly wander the aisles of Target looking for a gift for a child they don't even know that well. If you're looking for a way to simplify and de-clutter your household, a present-free party might be a great way to keep the playroom inventory from creeping up.
Coming up with a list of books for the birthday girl was enjoyable too. Our picks are in the gallery.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Nancy 4-03-2008 @ 1:54PM
Another birthday party idea for young kids that I used is to have the attendees buy a copy of their favorite book and donate them to a shelter for abused women and children.
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Eva 4-03-2008 @ 1:54PM
My daughter's first birthday party was present-free. Well, some people brought presents anyway, which was sweet. But we really didn't need any clothes or toys or books and it was nice just to celebrate her birthday without the materialism.
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queenoqueens 4-03-2008 @ 2:16PM
I like the idea, although I never implented it for my child. I knew my child was so looking forward to the gifts.
One thing for sure though....for the love of God do away with the goody bags. Talk about useless junk. At my daughter's last party, we took a picture of the whole group dressed up and let them decorate a frame for it as a take home gift.
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RobMonroe 4-03-2008 @ 2:34PM
I really like the picture as a take home gift! Very creative, and thanks for sharing it!
Meagan 4-04-2008 @ 12:33AM
I second that. Great idea, I'll have to remember that.
aprilkelm 4-03-2008 @ 2:33PM
Great for the parent. Sucks for the kid. Just saying.
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Kerri 4-03-2008 @ 4:51PM
As a parent, I can totally appreciate no-gift parties.
But, from a child's point of view, the majority of kids will think that no-gift parties, well.... suck (for lack of a better word! lol). I can just imagine my reaction if my mother told me that I could have a party, but no presents.
Yes, presents can be expensive, and they totally clutter the receiver's house. But if it causes that much mess, then your kid had too much to begin with! Plus, it teaches the giver about giving to others.
I think kids are growing up too fast these days. Taking away presents from birthday parties is just one more way to take their childhood away.
Also, giving to charities is great. But birthdays are supposed to be their special day. Save the charity giving for the next day, maybe when you go thru their old things to see what you can get rid of.
JMO
SAM 4-03-2008 @ 4:12PM
I have tried to do the no gifts party. Most parents think it's fine. They know their kids don't need anything either. Plus, if you have 4 friends with 2 kids each and you spend $15 on a gift, that's $120. And that doesn't include relatives who I would like to buy for. But one parent told me you can't go to a kids party without a gift. So we buy gifts. But I am all for the no gifts.
We also get a lot of gift cards, so there really isn't anything for the kids to open anyway.
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Linda 4-03-2008 @ 4:28PM
We had a no gift party for my daughter in February. Instead of gifts we asked everyone to bring a donation to a specified charity. They good either bring money or items to donate. I figured it kept new toy clutter out of our house AND taught our daughter the fun associated with generosity to others. We received a lot of positive feedback from the other parents.
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CLM 4-03-2008 @ 5:28PM
I like the idea of a gift-free party. When I was a child, I got gifts from my family and a few close friends and did not really have any expectation of getting anything beyond a birthday card from anyone else. Birthday parties were a gift from my parents, and it was about cake, ice cream and games with friends.
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ame s 4-03-2008 @ 6:37PM
When my girls were younger, it was a practice to invite every kid from the preschool, pre-K & lower elementary class. Ack! My girls' birthdays are 2 days apart in early January. The last thing either needed (or I wanted) was another dozen or more gifts for each kid. We would have a small family party where they would receive gifts. For the "friends" party we invited them over for cake and asked them to bring items for donation. Two years it was pet food for the local humane society; one year it was gently used clothing, food for the food bank. Their favorite was the year we asked for toys to give Toys for Tots a boost.
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Rob O. 4-03-2008 @ 9:30PM
This only sucks for the child if he/she has already been conditioned to equate birthdays with gifts. We're hoping to head that issue off by starting with our little guy's 2nd birthday later this month. (He's adopted, so this is kind of his 1st birthday party.) He already has plenty of toys and books, so I'd rather we focus on an enjoyable party instead of stuff.
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AB 4-03-2008 @ 9:54PM
That's fine for a two-year-old, but once they are a little older they will learn to equate birthdays with presents soon enough.
I think that their birthday is their special day and presents are part of that. If people ask, I suggest Legos, things for the Thomas Table and Playmobil, because that adds to the appeal of the stuff they already have and gives those toys renewed attractiveness instead of becoming just one more thing to clutter up their rooms.
And I love the idea of a picture in lieu of a goodie bag!
Anita 4-03-2008 @ 10:32PM
My daughter just turned 8 last week and we let her have a small, in house birthday party with her friends bringing her gifts but we did not buy her any. I could not think of anything to get her and I hate the clutter of useless plastic junk. Even my daughter could not come up with anything she wanted except for a horse. So my husband and I promised horseback riding lessons this summer if she agreed to no gifts from us on her birthday. Last year I brought her on a trip to San Diego with me in lieu of gifts.
She's fine with no gifts from us as long as she gets some from her friends and then I always steer the parents, if they ask, towards disposable items like sidewalk chalk or craft supplies. I actually proposed the idea that her friends contribute items to the local animal shelter (she loves animals) instead of gifts for her but that went over like a lead balloon!
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LMT 4-03-2008 @ 11:08PM
(((((applauding Kerri!)))))
I couldn't have said it better and completely agree with you!
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SKL 4-04-2008 @ 1:15AM
Here's a novel idea: how about NO BIRTHDAY PARTY? Talk about saving time, money, and space. We never had a single birthday party when I was growing up, and I would like to follow the same rule for my kids - though I already did a little thing for their first birthdays, requesting no gifts - that one was special and combined with a welcome-home (adoption) celebration.
Instead of an all-out birthday party, we had other rituals such as going out to a nice restaurant with our parents, getting extra allowance, handing off chores to the siblings, and a small family celebration with cake and ice cream and a few gifts. I really think this made us feel more special than a crazy party with a gazillian hyped-up kids would. Most of our neighbors/relatives didn't do birthday parties either, so there was no social pressure to do so. Nowadays, there may be some pressure, but I plan to resist it with all I've got.
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acs 4-05-2008 @ 12:51AM
I went to a party recently with a great no-gift party idea. Instead of bringing a present for the bday boy, everyone bought a book and wrapped it for a book exchange. As each child left the party s/he picked a wrapped book out of a basket. Everyone left with a great present and the bday boy got one, too.
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pum-e 4-18-2008 @ 6:57AM
we are holding my mum a 60th birthday and don't want everyone to bring presents, we instead want to send them oversea for a holiday how do we word this so one get offended???
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