One-sided conversations with an 8-week-old
Are you seriously waking up because you heard my laptop opening? Listen, it's not like I'm looking at PORN over here, Judgey.Smiling like that will get you nothing, Mr. Manipulator, except your mother's total inability to act like a rational adult. Who's a mushy? Who's a poochy? Dylan is! Yes you are!
Hey, nothing quite like a freshly-changed diaper to poop on, huh? Unless of course it's my HAND.
"Goo"? You seriously just said "goo". That was so over-the-top cute I am looking for the hidden cameras.
Get your little squirrel paws out of your mouth, dude, I'm trying to feed you over here. Don't make me break out the duct tape.
I hate to tell you this, but you have a zit. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's an adorable zit, but I'm not sure this bodes well for your teen years.
Did I not just file those nails yesterday? You are like a teeny tiny Wolverine.
The full-body joyful squirming is enough on its own, you don't have to add the openmouthed smiling and cooing. How much can a person be expected to take? My god, my heart is like an over-saturated sponge dinosaur.
Say, what's with all the grunting? . . . Oh.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
stephanie brown 4-04-2008 @ 11:54AM
Wow, I can't believe it's already been 8 weeks! I know time flew (over here, in NC, with a totally unattached blog reader) with Riley too....I guess before we know it Dylan will be sitting up and crawling and then walking, and OH MY GOSH your family is just too much for me! :)
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Jaidnoire 4-07-2008 @ 12:27PM
Hee...this reminded me of your poetry back in the day...
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Andrea 4-07-2008 @ 4:07PM
Here's one of my more commong phrases with my 12 week old: I know you're happy that I'm putting a dry diaper on you, but kicking at my hands means it takes longer to finish up so you can fill the diaper again. I'm just sayin'...
Or...
How does THAT stink come out of someone as cute as you, girlfriend?
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Saki 4-08-2008 @ 6:14AM
Linda,
how wise and funny your words, it's exactly how I feel now, Lucas is 8 weeks old, does have a zit, and I use a laptop to work on. The rest is regular behavior for a baby, right? :)
I took the liberty of using your post in my blog, http://daniel--lucas.blogspot.com/, fully credited, of course.
Obrigada!
Saki
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