9 year old rides subway alone

by Angie Felton (Subscribe to Angie Felton's posts) Apr 7th 2008 3:00PM

Categories: Kids 8-11, Development, In The News, Gadgets & Tech

Negotiating for more independence is a rite of passage for children, so Izzy Skenazy asking his mother if he could please, please, please be allowed to go home all by himself isn't that unusual.

What is unique is that nine-year-old Izzy's mode of transportation would be via subway in a city with a population of over 8 million.

Lenore Skenazy, a columnist for The New York Sun, left her son alone at Bloomingdale's in midtown Manhattan with a MetroCard for the subway, a subway map, $20 in cash and some quarters for a pay phone. He made it home safe and exhilarated by the adventure but the reaction from the article she wrote about his experience was decidedly mixed.

"Half the people I've told this episode to now want to turn me in for child abuse. As if keeping kids under lock and key and helmet and cell phone and nanny and surveillance is the right way to rear kids. It's not. It's debilitating - for us and for them."

However, Skenazy told Ann Curry in a TODAY show interview there were many people who shared with great fondness their own first journey alone, "So many people – the ones who aren't castigating me as crazy – are all regaling me about the first time they took the subway. And for most people, it's a great, happy memory. People love that independence."

It's interesting that you can be taken to court for child endangerment for leaving a sleeping two-year-old buckled in a carseat inside a locked car, but there isn't much guidance when it comes to leaving a child home alone or allowing them to travel by themselves.

Source

Comments (34)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

ELC 4-07-2008 @ 3:21PM

Kudos to them - for having both the desire and intestinal fortitude. 9 might not be the right age for every child to try this, but if he and his mother thought he was ready, than more power to them.

Jenni 4-07-2008 @ 3:35PM

I still remember the feeling the first time my mom let me stay home by myself...for about 15 minutes while she ran to the store. I was so proud of myself that I could handle it! It grew from there to more responsibility. Children don't need us to be there every second of every day; they need to be taught how to be independant and do things on their own. Yes, a parent needs to assess what their child is ready for, but I see much less of this independence.
In today's society, it's scary giving them some freedoms; not because they can't handle it, but because there are some very scary and bad people out there. Our jobs as parents is to teach them how to handle those situations, and to stay out of them. Teach your child well and trust that you did a great job teaching them.

sarahs 4-07-2008 @ 5:08PM

And I object that there needs to be guidance from the "higher ups" (whoever they are) to tell us what to do in this scenario, or that scenario... It says to the kids that we adults don't know how to be independent. And isn't that what we want to show to the kids? I know I want my kid to be able to think for himself.

Karen 4-07-2008 @ 5:13PM

Jeez, he's nine, not four. A nine year old seems perfectly capable to ride the subway alone to me.

eugene 4-07-2008 @ 5:31PM

This wouldn't even be worth talking about in South Korea or Japan.

Mel 4-07-2008 @ 5:46PM

I think this woman is either evil or criminally insane, but that's really beside the point. There will always be one or two crazies. What I'm shocked by is that anyone would actually ratify her behavior! I have no idea how to square this with all of the general parenting hysteria out there, particularly on this site. It's this site that presents everything from light bulbs to barbies as harmful, risky, detrimental to kids. But it's totally fine to abandon your kid in NEW YORK? You know, I have a feeling that those who think this is ok are also the ones screaming about the perils of the internet. If a 9-year old on a NYC subway is ok, it seems that pretty much anything is ok for a 9-year old. Seriously, I can't think of any situation more rife with danger for a kid than a NYC subway. Yet, like I said, people are brimming with hysteria over freakin' myspace. Myspace is a safe haven compared to the streets of NY. And you all better not be the parents who make a brouhaha over a movie date between 14-year olds.

CLM 4-07-2008 @ 8:13PM

Have you ever been to NY?

Jen Henry 4-07-2008 @ 9:08PM

In other countries with populations every bit as large this is not uncommon. My nephews are growing up in Japan. Their first day of school? Their parents put them on the train and send them on their way. That's how people travel.

Now it wouldn't be right for me to drop my kid off in on a NYC subway because we don't live there and aren't familiar with what is safe and what can very well be dangerous. My kids would likely get themselves into trouble due to pure ignorance. But a kid that has lived his whole life in NYC has known nothing else. He'll be fine and has a heck of a lot more street smarts than I do now.

I guess I must be one of those loonies that think it's ok given the context the mother did it in. But I also bet she spent a lot of pacing the floor in the meantime until she heard from him that all was well.

Jen
http://furoreandfrenzy.com

lulu 4-08-2008 @ 10:59AM

Mel, I live in NYC. Do you? Doubtful. Guess what, kids (gasp!) take public transport to school. Five days a week! You're completely ridiculous. And why is it that damn near every post of yours is whining (GOD THE WHINING) about how much this site sucks? Stop reading this site if that's lame to you.

Ethel 4-07-2008 @ 6:03PM

Jeez, my sister was selling papers downtown at around the age of 7. We both would walk miles to go downtown, alone. Even scarier is that we were allowed to stay on a beach tending a fire while our folks were fishing on the boat, on a beach that was across the water from a road and the nearest household was many many miles away, when we were at the youngest 8 years old! I would walk the beach, on top of the logs, with my dog and a few times encountered wolves.

So, what's scarier, the subway or being away from people? The subway is fine most of the time on most of the lines. What if he needed to use the subway and didn't have a clue? It's a valuable skill, and worthwhile for the future.

Mel 4-07-2008 @ 6:10PM

"So, what's scarier, the subway or being away from people?"

If you're saying that the subway is safer because there are people around, you're wrongly assuming that those people will pay attention to and help your kid. Which, in essence, is the same as admitting that a 9-year old need supervision on a subway. I don't know about your town, but NY'ers are notorious for their apathy for what is going on around them. Most of the time they just aren't paying attention, and even when they are, they do not intervene. So, I say it's way safer for a 9-year old to be alone than to be surrounded by disinterested, apathetic commuters.

Also, the biggest threat a 9-year old faces is OTHER PEOPLE. Kids this age don't stick their hands in escalator belts, etc. That's not the type of thing that I really worry about with 9-year olds. Mostly, I worry about OTHER PEOPLE hurting them.

ScrappyMom 4-07-2008 @ 8:12PM

You know NYC is not as bad as some of you allege. Every town and city has its bad parts but come on people. Blatant statements like these "NY'ers are notorious for their apathy for what is going on around them." that's a bit much. I've had many MANY positive experiences in the City! Every child is different and what exactly is the kid's age... just turned 9 or almost 10? And where exactly did he go from midtown? Oh many places in Manhattan are safer than others, just like they are in many other areas!

lulu 4-08-2008 @ 11:00AM

Mel has no idea what she's talking about. I'm a New Yorker. She has no clue. She's working off of some tv stereotype of all people in this city. Wouldn't be surprised if she's never even been here. However, if her stereotype will prevent her from populating my city and spreading her idiocy, then please, by all means, think we're complete jerks. And never ride the subway! Personally, I enjoy kicking people in the back of the knees (helps if they're elderly) and laugh when they buckle forward and flop in front of the trains. And hey, no one cares because we're all so apathetic!

Uly 4-07-2008 @ 8:18PM

I was riding the train by myself at only a year older than that - in NYC, in the early 90s. The world wasn't any safer then than it is now, indeed, it may have been more dangerous.

And - yup, totally fine, as are *most* children who ride the train alone.

He's, what, in the fourth grade? In two, three years that means no more school bus (if he has one at all), and he'll have to take the train (by himself) to school anyway, and back, every day.

Incidentally, once again Mel shows herself to have no clue what the fuck she's talking about. I live in this city. I routinely see people go up and randomly help tourists. I routinely see them stop if they see a small child (younger than nine, certainly) who looks unattended, and search for the adult. I routinely see people run after others saying "Wait - you dropped this!" or "YOUR BAG IS OPEN! YOU'LL LOSE ALL YOUR STUFF!" or "Hey, your money is falling out of your pocket!". They notice little things, and they sure notice big things. My sister got her purse snatched *once* on the train, and three people jumped off to help her grab the guy (no luck there, alas, but they tried). Three people! That's insane for "apathetic commuters".

Meagan 4-07-2008 @ 10:34PM

According to violent crime rates it was indeed more dangerous in the early 90s than it is today. We just buy into the illusion that everything is more dangerous now because fearmongering on TV gets more viewers.

Uly 4-07-2008 @ 11:29PM

Oh, I know it's safer. I don't know why people insist on feeling unsafe - we're all much safer than we've been at virtually any point since the invention of cities.

Wireful 4-07-2008 @ 9:12PM

Look, if you are not from NYC, it is difficult to understand what it means to ride the subway as a nine year old. If your view of NYC is based on movies, TV, or even visiting as a tourist, you just don't possess the right frame of reference. Yes there are eight million people in NYC, only about 1.5 million in Manhattan, across less than 23 square miles. It is densely packed, but not very big. Really, NYC is a city of neighborhoods and it is far more like dozens and dozens of small towns all right next to each other than it is like a traditional city you might imagine.

I do live in NYC (Brooklyn) and while I don't know that I would let my daughter ride the subway at nine, I don't particularly see a problem with a mom who knows her own kid's ability doing it. It is so easy to think of NYC as this big bad place, but I can assure you, it is populated with human beings just like where you live. You have to have a pretty dim view of humanity to think people in the "big city" are too dangerous for a third or fourth grader to be around.

If a nine year old on the subway asked me a question or directions, I'd help him out in the a second. But more importantly, so would 90-95% of the other people on any subway car. The other 5-10% are tourists who probably are more lost than him and a few people in the car are just jerks. The bus ride he took is even easier in that it is above ground, the streets are numbered, and once you see what you are looking for, you ding the bell and get out within a block or two of your street. On the sidewalk, you'll get a slightly lower percentage of helpful people, maybe 75%, only because tourists skew this number and you get more people in a hurry getting to work. That still means three out of every four people help out this kid and point him in the right direction.

As far as kidnapping goes, I'm not sure I can offer anything to alleviate these fears. Yes, a nine year old could be kidnapped on the streets of New York. He could also ask an adult to to buy a lottery ticket for him on the way home and he could instantly win a million dollars too. Maybe, he could win the lottery, and then while jumping up and down celebrating, a van could pull up and kidnap him, and none of the dozens of people on the sidewalk within 50 feet of him who saw it would even notice, much less call 911. The statistical improbability is mind boggling, but hey, in New York, anything can happen.

In the end, this kid went less than two miles, on a subway that goes in a straight line and he had a map for, and on a bus that goes in a straight line that he had a map for, in a city that he lives in, making a trip he had probably done hundreds of times before. Might I add in a part of town where rents for one bedrooms start above $3,000 and houses start around $3 million, not that it makes it more or less safe, but it ain't the slums.

He wasn't dropped in the bush blindfolded with a compass and told to find civilization. He was in his hometown, albeit a very big hometown. I grew up in a town of 8,000 people in Iowa and in third grade I rode my bike to and from school two miles, with friends and sometimes by myself. Adding three zeros to that number doesn't change what my ability as a nine year old was, the ability to find my way home on the streets I traveled every day.

queenoqueens 4-07-2008 @ 9:15PM

I grew up in NYC. The earliest I recall taking the train was around 12 years old, without my parent's consent.

Although I feel that it's the first sign of the apocolypse that I'm agreeing with Mel, I have to say she's right that 'other people' being the threat. And there's plenty of 'other people' in NYC, where crazy wack-jobs can easily go undetected.

And for that reason, I would hesitate to leave my kid anywhere amongst strangers at 9 (not just NYC). Oh, how I wish I could be as carefree as the parent that does this. It might be a fantastic learning experience for the child, but I personally would not have a moments peace while my child was away from me.

All you have to do is read the crime blotters in the NYC papers to see that there's enough crime there to be worried. Adults can use their knowledge to practice caution, but can a 9 year old child? I'm not so sure.

lulu 4-08-2008 @ 11:08AM

Here's the thing: OF COURSE there's going to be more crime in NYC than whatever town you live in, merely because there are MORE PEOPLE HERE. Makes sense, right?

But I tell you now that whatever horror your mind is creating regarding NYC is the SAME HORROR that can happen *anywhere*, no matter the size or density of where you live.

And let's not forget that NY kids grow up with a street smart sensibility that you're not likely to find in a small town. I speak from experience. I grew up in a town with a population of 50 people, and now that I've spent the past decade in NYC, I can vouch for the fact that I've learned vastly more here than I did in my "safe" home town. Never mind the fact that a neighbor was found out to be a pedophile and no one suspected because our home town was just so quaint and trusting.

Yeah. It's definitely NYC only that you have to worry about.

queenoqueens 4-08-2008 @ 11:31AM

Lulu,

I was born and raised in NYC and I was aware of the crime there. Based on my perception, I think the odds of something bad happening might just be higher there, and you need to exercise a little more caution than you would in a lower crime area. Makes sense, right?

I just think a 9 year old is perhaps a little too naive to be left alone anywhere. But I suppose it depends on the 9 year old.

Also, when I'd go and visit as an adult, I'd read the papers and was always surprised by the *quality* of the crime, nto the quantity. It just seemed a little more heinous there.

That being said, I was fortunate enough to never be a victim of violent crime there, but I did exercise a lot of caution. I feel lucky that the worst that ever happened to us was that our car and house were broken into and vandalized.

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