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Preschooler banned for trendy haircut
Categories: Just For Moms, Toddlers, Preschoolers, Development, Education
The last time I took my 7-year-old in for a haircut, the stylist gave her a photo book of hairstyles to look through while we waited for her turn. She turned immediately to the young adult section and chose a pink striped, spiky do that reminded me of Cyndi Lauper circa 1983. Because it involved color, lots of product and daily styling, I told her she would have to choose something else.
When 3-year-old Tavis Cook's mother allowed him to choose his own haircut, he also went for something intended for an older kid. His choice didn't involve color or lots of product, but had intricate designs - tramlines - shaved into the hair on the back and sides of his head.
While his mother, Donna Cook, thought her son's new haircut looked nice, his preschool did not. When he showed up for class at Riverside primary School in the UK with his trendy hairdo, she was told to come pick him up and bring him back when his hair had grown out. When she got there, she says she found her son distraught. "When I arrived he was in floods of tears. I can't believe they'd do this to a little boy like Tavis," she says. "He is the most placid, lovely lad, he's never in trouble."
Those in charge of such things at the school say Tavis' haircut broke the rules, although Donna Cook claims she checked to make sure it was okay and found there was no policy regarding hairstyles in the preschool class. There has been no comment from the school on the matter, but the North Tyneside Council is advising Cook on her options.
I feel bad for this little guy. Here he was, probably feeling all good about himself with his cool new haircut and they just shot him down. I think he looks fine and don't understand why some people get so worked up about hair.
When 3-year-old Tavis Cook's mother allowed him to choose his own haircut, he also went for something intended for an older kid. His choice didn't involve color or lots of product, but had intricate designs - tramlines - shaved into the hair on the back and sides of his head.
While his mother, Donna Cook, thought her son's new haircut looked nice, his preschool did not. When he showed up for class at Riverside primary School in the UK with his trendy hairdo, she was told to come pick him up and bring him back when his hair had grown out. When she got there, she says she found her son distraught. "When I arrived he was in floods of tears. I can't believe they'd do this to a little boy like Tavis," she says. "He is the most placid, lovely lad, he's never in trouble."
Those in charge of such things at the school say Tavis' haircut broke the rules, although Donna Cook claims she checked to make sure it was okay and found there was no policy regarding hairstyles in the preschool class. There has been no comment from the school on the matter, but the North Tyneside Council is advising Cook on her options.
I feel bad for this little guy. Here he was, probably feeling all good about himself with his cool new haircut and they just shot him down. I think he looks fine and don't understand why some people get so worked up about hair.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 15)
Justin 4-07-2008 @ 4:35PM
Good followup post to the other haircut posts... Must be the season hehehe.
I think this has two levels of wrong to it...
I think firstly the mother was wrong to get her child's hair cut like that. Yes it may have seemed like an interesting idea, and yes I'm sure he thought it was a good idea, but sometimes you just don't go with it when confronted with something like that. I'm sure we would all like to do something crazy once in a while, but to do it and not expect some kind of reaction? I think that's where she went wrong.
I also think the school was wrong in the way it responded to the situation. I'm sure the school never actually had a written or enforced policy about the above, but I've also seen my share of schools who feel they can "re-write" the policy at any time without any notice just as they see fit. I think it was right that the school took some form of action, but their actions were not appropriate. For a new child coming to a school it's not appropriate to just outcast them for how they look. Especially at an age where they probably won't understand it and didn't mean any harm in what they did.
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Uly 4-07-2008 @ 9:38PM
"I think firstly the mother was wrong to get her child's hair cut like that."
Why? It's hair. It grows out.
Crystal 4-08-2008 @ 8:52PM
Its a haircut...that's it...a haircut...i cut my own hair as a kid and made it choppy looking...does that mean i should have been sent home?
taylor 4-08-2008 @ 9:53PM
how is the mother wrong? seriously, i can take it that you do not have any children. it is a hair cut on a 3 year old, it will grow back! come on now people! get serious! the school over reacted! he is a 3 year old child, it is not like it was some gang type hair cut, it doesnt harm anyone! i just dont understand people sometimes!
Bonnie 4-08-2008 @ 10:54PM
First of all, I don't think the mother did anything wrong in allowing her son to pick out a different hairdo. I have let my children have every style and color that is imaginable and they turned out to be lovely young adults. The school is completely out of line to expel a child so young for a hairstyle. At best, they should have told the mother that it wasn't a good idea to have such a cut, asked her to not do it again and let it go at that. People just love to ruin a child's self esteem and pride in themselves, and at such a young age, shame on the school and anyone who agrees with them.
luvly 4-08-2008 @ 10:59PM
ooooooh pleeeeeez!!!!!!! there are worse things this little boy could've brought to school....think about it!!!! self expression is a part of the making of who we are tell the board to remember they weren't always grown-ups, oh my goodness!!!!! Grow the freakin heck up!!! he's a child whom in their own immature way have altered...even if it's miniscule.
Bobby G 4-09-2008 @ 12:08AM
I agree the school's response was heavy and showed an incredible lack of poise. Did they not think about the impact on the child at all?!
"...All and all your just another brick in the wall..."
To point number two: I don't see this as a case of where the parent needs to act like the parent. This wasn't about something that could cause anyone harm. Kids need to be allowed these opportunities of self expression. This is about the school personnel reacting badly, not about a bad kid doing something wrong the way it must feel to be in the eyes of the child. They should be ashamed.
"...Hey teacher! Leave us kids alone!..." (I hope you all recognize the Pink Floyd song lyrics here.)
Poor kid. Repressive school. Unlucky, well-meaning mom.
eugene 4-07-2008 @ 7:37PM
nice to see crazy isn't restricted to America.
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isisaquaria 4-07-2008 @ 8:26PM
I see nothing wrong with the cut-the school is wrong
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Justin 4-07-2008 @ 9:56PM
Perhaps I should re-phrase
I think the mother is wrong to cut his hair like that... and not expect some kind of backlash or whining or such to take place. (And sadly that backlash will most likely be pointed at him, not her, as it was in this case)
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ninainindia 4-07-2008 @ 10:15PM
It's just a haircut! How schools can even consider this a reason to send a child home is beyond me.
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Jorn Knuttila 4-08-2008 @ 9:50AM
This kid will remember this trauma for the rest of his life. Way to go.
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Jessica 4-08-2008 @ 12:08PM
"trauma" Are you freakin' kidding me? Trauma--heehee.
Amy Tocci 4-08-2008 @ 10:17PM
Way to Go? OH MY....what a horrible response! - Go ahead and be the MAN! Be the big brother! - THERE is not a thing wrong with self expression at ANY AGE, I'm sooooo sorry there are so many stuffy closed minded followers in our world - Where will all our great minds come from if everyone is only alowed to be exactly like everyone else? I'm so disappointed in the drones!!!!!!!!!!
elliott alper 4-09-2008 @ 12:42AM
HE WILL SEEK REVENGE WHEN HE IS 20 YEARS OLD AND FIND THE TEACHER AND GOOD LUCK TEACHER
Elizabeth 4-09-2008 @ 5:28AM
..........he's being sarcastic, I thought.
hedgerow 4-08-2008 @ 9:33AM
As parents we have to pick our battles with our kids. Things that are temporary, ie a haircut, are minor. His hair is not unkempt or untidy, and it isn't offensive. It is a temporary, harmless expression of self. If his hair is anything like my sons it will probably last 2 weeks. Right now my 16 year old has a flattop hair cut with his nickname, DJ, cut into the back of his hair. He attends a very conservative, private, Baptist school and the administration found it very amusing that when they have to remind most boys to keep their hair of their collars(per the dress code) DJ found a way to follow their code and make it fun.
Pick your battles.
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sadieroo 4-08-2008 @ 9:34PM
"Pick your battles"?? WHO is the parent?? The boy is seven!! Your son is sixteen, and (hopefully) capable of living with the consequences of his decisions. For heaven's sake, we need parents who are willing to be PARENTS and not friends to their children. Be responsible and set limits for your child. If you don't do it with haircuts (when they are seven), you won't set bed times, get them real nutrition, etc. Be responsible, if you are going to be a parent.
hedgerow 4-08-2008 @ 10:00PM
The parent is the one picking the battles. It is is a haircut for crying out loud. Even at 7 there are times you can let a child begin to make decisions. Start with the small decisions and work your way up to the big ones, building as you go. Even a 3 year old is capable of making simple decisions(ie Should we have carrots or raisins for our snack today? instead of "Eat the carrot stick, I said so")
And the thought that allowing a child, your child not a drone of the state, choose a haircut is irresponsible parenting is laughable.
Sue 4-09-2008 @ 3:32AM
Yes, you DO pick your battles as parents. Picking battles is hardly shirking the responsibility of parenting, nor does it mean that you will not give your child a bed time or feed him/her nutritiously. That is absurd conclusion.
We must give children the freedom to make some choices in their lives, particularly harmless types of things. Giving children choices is actually good parenting. Children need to feel that they have some control over their lives in order to develop and mature in a healthy way. They will have to be adults and make all of their own decisions one day. Hair seems to me hardly something to get in a twist about.