Single moms looking for love

That a single mother would "look for love" instead of raising her children is tragic. That she would simultaneously indulge her exhibitionism is even worse.

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I gotta say, as a single mom, I'm more than a little skeeved-out by this. My first priority in life is my kid; everything else is secondary. I have found, at least for me, dating and feeling like I'm being a "good" mom to be mutually exclusive; at least right now, the dating has to be on hold. To think of putting all of that mess on TV for the world to see? In a word: "NO!"

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I would have to disagree. I am a single mom, and I think you need to look for love (or companionship) if your end goal is to get married. Some people believe that "love will find you" but I think that is a load of crap (at least for my situation...). I commend these women for having the strength to raise their children, and miraculously find time to date...it's a cruel world, and "going it alone" is a near-impossible task.
Yes, my son comes first, but a happy mother makes for a happy family...and if that means looking for love, then so be it.

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My dad raised me as a single parent, and he did not date while I was growing up. His focus was on me and creating a stable life, not one with various women coming into and out of our household. He did start dating when I was close to graduating high school, and eventually did get married 5 years later. I appreciate that so much, and if something ever happened to my husband while I am still raising our children, I would not be dating for a long, long time.

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What a nice choice you've made for your family - it's amazing that you realize dating and raising kids are mutually exclusive ventures!

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I would agree with the commenters who feel the two do not belong together. I have watched my 7yo BIL grow up with getting attached to woman after woman moving into my FIL's house. It is confusing and damaging to the child. My FIL has absolutely no concept of this damage and I find it to be completely selfish.

I am not saying that one should not date at all, but that it should be done with great care and caution.

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..Don't get me wrong, I am not an advocator of bringing a lot of different men or women into a household if you are dating. There are boundaries and adult circumstances (such as the roller coasters that comes with dating) that children should not be exposed to. I think it is possible to date without exposing your children to these elements.

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As a single mom of over 8 years, I know how lonely and unfulfilled my life has been, and what a struggle it is emotional, financially, and physically, etc... without a Dad in the home. Therefore, I would be on the show and I admire any woman who would try to meet the right man in any moral way she could, not only for her own needs but for that of her child. There are so many unmet needs that single moms face daily, and anyone who would criticize others attempts at dating to meet the right mate are just either bitter or somehow otherwise blocking out any sort of compassion and mercy towards the needs of others. And life is scary in general, there are scary people everywhere, so none of us need more "psycho-babble" advice saying we can't "expose" ourselves and our families to lots of people. Internet dating over years of trying to meet someone and make a relationship work exposes us to plenty of potential stalkers and there is NO way around that...so unless you want to live in a bubble, or on the moon, or alone for the rest of your life, you have to take a chance on meeting someone new. Maybe you have been hurt and are afraid to trust, but just pray and ask for strength and faith in our Creator and Protector to provide and guard us from those with wrong motives and to bring only the right soul mate. Though I pray and get no where in this search myself, I am always blessed with more "shalom" from the heavenly Father, (shalom is the Hebrew word for peace), so do humble yourself and in so doing you open up your heart and life to receive blessing and not curses. I pray that all who read these words will receive a blessing, May Yahuah, the Elohim of the Hebrews and Creator of all, bless you and your family as you seek Him with your whole heart!! SHALOM!!

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What's most clearly illustrated to me by the comments posted here is that the picture of dating and being a single parent really isn't one to be drawn in black or white. It seems each of us have had our own experiences, being single parents, or being raised by single parents, or knowing single parents. I was raised by a single parent who did not date when I was younger and unlike Lisa, I really wish she had. I have no doubt Lisa's experience with her father was what was right for her, but I also know that my mom not seeking love during that time for me was confusing - and it's easier than I would like to put romance on the back burner in favor of necessities and life, as I live as a single mother now. Considering the possibilities of dating is not something I do lightly, nor do I drag my children along an emotional rollercoaster - I'm careful, cautious, for the most part I'm not dating at all - but I'm open to it, and we have candid and open discussions because I would very much like to be the sort of role model for them who can recognize my own shortcomings or areas that could use improvement, who has few qualms in admitting to them and then taking them head-on. This doesn't mean brazenly converting myself from a conservative working/PTA mom into a bar-hopping trollop - that's the black or the white of it, when in fact it's very gray. I'll get a babysitter and go out for a drink sometimes, after they're in bed, and I won't close doors to longer term possibilities - I'm staying open, in part because that's what I want for them.
Thank you to Amy for your thoughtful and thought-provoking response - knowing that there are open and accepting people like you makes it easier to try and be one myself. Thank you.

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