Gwyneth Paltrow didn't know she had post partum depression
Categories: Babies, Celeb kids, Celeb parenting
I always believed that post-partum depression came adorned with some pretty strong warning signs: constant weepiness, contempt for the newborn baby, deeply wracked guilt about that contempt. But apparently, post-partum depression is not always immediately evident, as displayed via Gwyneth Paltrow's recent confession that she had post-partum depression after baby number two, and didn't even know it.
Gwyneth told Vogue magazine about her post-natal state of being: "I felt really out of my body. I felt really disconnected. I felt really down...I felt pessimistic." It wasn't until after she was through the fog, Gwyneth says, that she began to see that the disconnectedness and pessimism was post-partum depression.
This article really struck me. I was sad after I had Nolan, I felt hopeless and disconnected from friends and family. I felt a perpetual hollow in my stomach, but since I never felt any resentment toward my baby, I figured that all those feelings were simply a combined result of sleepless nights, a shattered lifestyle, and a new view on the world.
In all honesty, I'm still not sure whether I had post-partum depression or just a wee shock at the way my life had changed. OK, OK: I think I probably had post partum depression. It's just not a fun thing to say, you know: hey, I was temporarily a little bit crazy, after my baby came out of my body. But I am OK now!
Google "How do I know if I have post partum depression?" and you will find hundreds of articles listing various symptoms of the condition. But since so many of those symptoms are synonymous with the normal reality of new motherhood (diminished interest in sex, anxiety, weight loss), it's really difficult to make a self-diagnosis.
If I could do it over again, I would have admitted to my Doctor that I was crying to much. And perhaps asked for help a little more than I did. Perhaps the number one key to understanding post-partum depression is in admitting that it's not a shameful thing.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Nicola 4-17-2008 @ 11:33AM
I was lucky enough to break down in tears on one of our early midwife home visits, so immediately got some support and advice. Like many new moms, I felt like this new depression, this "my life is over" feeling, was just the way it was. I had a baby. My life is over. Right? Obviously, no, and the support and love of my midwife practise and my friends, also the knowledge that it would pass, helped me to get through those few hormonal (and horrible) weeks. As the previous poster said, it felt exactly like coming out of a fog. In fact, I can tell you exactly that it was on Day 18 (I was at a new moms class with my son and wrote "Kellan 18 days" on the board to sign in), and later that day, the fog lifted. Once it had passed, I could see how ridiculous my depression had been and finally come to love and cherish my life as a new mom.
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Meagan 4-17-2008 @ 1:00PM
It's not ridiculous... it's a chemical imbalance. I realize that's probably not how you meant it, but it's important to remember that depression is caused by physical things and is not something the sufferer is responsible for. Too many people are ashamed of being depressed.
Christina 4-17-2008 @ 11:40AM
I had a really horrid time after my son was born. I cried constantly, silently by myself and berated myself for being this way. I worried about crazy things, I felt terribly low about myself and how I looked/felt. I had moments were I felt I wanted to drive myself off the road (not my baby, just me) or harm myself (again just me, not my son). I thought I was a shitty parent because I could not give birth naturally and I resented my body for being this way. I never told a soul because I felt so out of it, scared to admit that I felt those things and I assumed that it was just part of the process. This went on for a LONG time at least 6-9 months!) It was like living in a fog cavern 24/7...
I told my midwife about the adventure that was my post partum life with my son when I went in for my 1st prenatal exam. She is going to watch and ask good questions this time. She told me that she should have recognized this in me, that I likely could not have said it to her myself. I know how I felt last time and I have told people about it so I think I will be better prepared if I get in that spot with this baby. Just knowing a medical professional will ask me the questions that need to be asked makes me feel calmer. It is scary and funky and horrible. And I hardly recognized I was this way (or could really see it) until after the fog lifted and even now it seems totally surreal!
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Stacy 4-17-2008 @ 12:10PM
I had the baby blues for about three weeks after my son was born. I didn't realize it at the time, and was in complete denial that there was anything wrong with me...One day I woke up, and I felt happy again. It was the strangest feeling, and only then did I admit that I was suffering from any sort of depression.
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the goddess anna 4-17-2008 @ 12:47PM
I know I've told my PPD story here about a billion times, so I won't go into it now. I would just like to say that depression is a very serious thing, and that anybody who feels sad, blue, out of sorts, etc at anytime should seek help, even if you don't believe you could be depressed. I still battle my depression daily, and it's going on three years. Nobody deserves to suffer from this.
What I can't believe, although I've experienced it myself, is that there are still health professionals out there who believe that PPD isn't real, that it's just women upset that their life has changed. It is very real, and very devastating if left untreated.
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Sabrina 4-17-2008 @ 1:07PM
Yes, it's a chemical imbalance, but yes, it's also in response to major life changes! If only they didn't add the "just women" to that definition, maybe doctors would take it more seriously. I had it bad with both kids, and never got any help. I wish I had, I lost so much time being sad, angry, confused and resentful of my DH.
Michelle 4-17-2008 @ 12:58PM
I think I knew I had it after my 2nd child was born, but I didn't have time to deal with it, so I refused to acknowledge the fact. I mean I had a preemie in NICU, a child younger than 2 at home, my husband, a cop, who not only went back to work immediately, but had recently lost his father to a long battle with cancer, so he couldn't bare to see his son hooked up to all those tubes and wires looking exactly like his father had looked when he died.
I had people who didn't understand that a preemie is not just a small baby calling me daily to see if he had gained weight and asking when he was coming home, and I was still sick, so I resented that my body had failed to safely and successfully house my baby for 40 weeks.
I pushed everybody away, even my Pastor. I stopped answering the phone, unless it was the hospital. I stopped going out, unless it was to the hospital. When I was finally able to hold him, I used to hold him and imagine what would happen if I just let him roll onto the floor. My daughter could stop being shuffled around and abandoned and could have her Mommy back and life could return to normal. I was just constantly having to leave one to go care for the other, and I couldn't be there for my husband, because I wasn't there for myself. (I always laid him back in the isolette or handed him to his nurse and walked away at that point.)
It was a miserable time that I am not sure how I managed to get through and I wish one of the nurses, or my Pastor or my Mother(who revealed to me a month ago has suffered minor depression on and off her entire adult life) or someone would have pushed back and could have seen my struggle. I think I struggled with my PPD for a couple years, even now, 3.5 years later, I have periods of time where I don't even want to get dressed and face the world, not really even my kids or my husband. But, I'm supposed to be grateful (and I am, BELIEVE ME, I AM!) my baby survived and is doing surprisingly well. So, just like then, I put on my smile and I do what needs to be done.
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Meagan 4-17-2008 @ 1:07PM
If you're still having periods of depression three and a half years later, you might want to talk to a health care professional about it. If you don't like the idea of being on anti-depressants (I know I don't) you should be able to find someone who can treat depression with therapy... Note: I am NOT a health care professional and probably have no idea what I'm talking about.
the goddess anna 4-17-2008 @ 3:47PM
As a person also still suffering years later, I want to tell you I understand. And I'm sending you a virtual hug. (hug)
I still have those days too, where I don't want to get up or face the world. I haven't gone back on meds, though, as I hated what they did to me (they might have given me seratonin, but also weight gain and other issues). If I may be so bold, try meditation and some light yoga. The meditation gives you a few minutes (I do 15) to take a break and the yoga is exercise, which is a natural seratonin upper. : )
Emma Leigh 4-17-2008 @ 1:38PM
I had the same experience as Stacy above. I didn't realize there was something wrong until I came out of it. It was almost like a veil was raised. I noticed the change after I started a routine exercise program. My doctor said the exercise probably made the chemicals/hormones balance themselves.
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Jan Bay 4-17-2008 @ 1:56PM
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the inability to help yourself part of depression?
I have never suffered from anything other than mild depression, but when I was in that state I found myself unable to make positive decisions and only got relief when a family member saw what was up and pushed me to take steps. I think that if that had not happened then I might have kept sliding until it was more than a minor setback.
Jan from http://www.unique-baby-gear-ideas.com/
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Jessica 4-17-2008 @ 2:49PM
I wouldn't necessarily say it is an inability to help yourself, b/c if that were the case there wouldn't be so many treated people out there. I think it would be more accurate to say there is a strong sense of self-loathing, over the depression, that creates a self-imposed isolation and embarrassment in telling others.
Maureen 4-17-2008 @ 3:22PM
I had the "blues" pretty bad after my first. My mom said she had the same thing and it usually lasted about 3 months. That is how long it lasted for me. I cried way too often. I was just so sad all the time. I never felt resentful of my child but I did fret constantly about doing the "right" thing.
I didn't want to ask for help from anyone, I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't even want to go out. After about three months I started to feel a bit better, but I don't think I felt completely 100% until about 8 months after the baby returned (when i finally got my period).
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Amanda 4-20-2008 @ 10:56AM
I hope that as more women begin talking about this both new mothers and the people around them will begin to identify this sooner, so that life can be restored sooner. Joy can be experienced.
Amanda
http://hibernate.sarabearco.com/near-dear-causes-category/for-the-whole-family/
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