Picking your battles

by Linda Lee (Subscribe to Linda Lee's posts) Apr 17th 2008 12:30PM

Categories: Toddlers

"Don't pick your nose, Riley."

A tiny toddler hand creeps downward from his snout-hole for .0008 seconds, then dives back in.

"Do you need a tissue? Let's get a tissue."

Obstinately, my boy stares at me, his finger still creeping around his nostril. The sight of my beautiful child reduced to a vacant, booger-mining apparition is suddenly too much, I lose it and raise my voice. "STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE RIGHT NOW."

Does he stop? No he does not. We are in a Boundary-Testing Stage, where whatever command I issue is challenged. No drinking juice allowed outside of the kitchen? Then he'll put one foot through the doorway, his eyes never leaving my face. "This?" he asks, grinning wickedly, his cup held high. Is this okay, then, this annoying deliberate ignorance of the rules? "This?"

With nose-picking, he gets sullen and annoyed with me, and frankly I get equally annoyed with him because GROSS. God, a nose-picking kid; I love my boy but BLECH.

So! Any of you have any advice re: nose-digging? Currently my best tactic is distraction ("OH HEY IS THAT A BIRD OUTSIDE??"), is that the best I can hope for at this stage?

Comments (22)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

miller 4-17-2008 @ 12:51PM

Holy crap would I love to get my 2 year old to stop picking her nose too. My toddler has raised it to the 'pick it out of my nose and put it in my mouth' level which is a double BLECH!

I wish I had some advice but unfortunately I am dealing with a two and half year old (who we are trying to potty train) and a 5 month old who both have their own way of testing MY limits and theirs as well.

I will be checking back to see other comments.....anyone?

Jen Henry 4-17-2008 @ 12:57PM

My 3 1/2 year old daughter does this ALL THE TIME!!! Drives me nuts! We actually woke up to a bloody nose this morning because she was picking it as she was dozing. Sigh....

For me what really helped was choosing a key phrase...rather than constantly telling her no I chose the key phrase "Yuck!" That way if we were in a public place I wouldn't have to announce to others what she was doing. It seems to work well. She responds much quicker to me simply announcing "Yuck!" than when I try to explain anything to her.

We've also noticed that if we teach other friends and family the code phrase that she still responds to it, so it doesn't just have to come from me.

I guess it's a little psych conditioning but it works wonders!

Jen
http://furoreandfrenzy.com

kate 4-17-2008 @ 12:58PM

yeah same boat. my three year old has also reached the picking and eating stage. uuuuugh. and with a seven month old i don't always catch her at it. my new tactic is "no picking your nose IN PUBLIC." i'm planning a gradual backtracking- no picking your nose outside, no picking your nose downstairs, no picking your nose ANYWHERE but the bathroom. i figure, eradication is pleasant to dream about, but unlikely to happen anytime soon. might as well work with what we have.

Anne Glamore 4-17-2008 @ 1:06PM

I handle like the penis fondling - it's something you do in the privacy of your bathroom.

Uly 4-18-2008 @ 9:59PM

Agreed. You've restricted the behavior without making it a power play, and he can wash his hands when he's done.

Michaela Redeker 4-17-2008 @ 2:19PM

I think Riley and my Emma would get along FANTASTIC.....and she would probably teach him to EAT them as well ;-)

Will check back to see if someone has good tips on how to stop it, but I am not getting my hopes up, they'll probably just grow out of it.

Melissa 4-17-2008 @ 2:19PM

Oh my god, my daughter is doing the same thing. The other day she handed my husband a booger....well, that was kind of funny but it's been bad. I've tried ignoring her, telling her to stop, distractions - but she is determined and just snaps back "I do it!!" with a furrowed brow. I don't think it helped that she had constant colds from February til about now. Sorry I can't help but I sure can relate.....gross.

Chris 4-17-2008 @ 2:44PM

There's this poem called 'Warning' by the amazing Shel Siverstein. It's about a snail that lives up everyone's nose. After reading it to my 4 year old, all I have to say is 'remember the snail' whenever his finger goes near his nose and he asks for a tissue. Works like a charm.

Chris 4-17-2008 @ 2:48PM

Oops...Shel Silverstein

Sheryl 4-17-2008 @ 3:14PM

I second the Shel Silverstein poem. That's what I used to dissuade my daughter as well.

Tess Capra 4-17-2008 @ 3:55PM

It's called "Warning" --

Inside everybody's nose
There lives a sharp-toothed snail.
So if you stick your finger in,
He may bite off your nail.
Stick it farther up inside,
And he may bite your ring off.
Stick it all the way, and he
May bite the whole darn thing off.

Jack 4-17-2008 @ 4:16PM

I've successfully modified my princess-obsessed daughter's behavior by saying "princess don't pick their noses," "princesses always wipe their bottoms," etc.

mrsgryphon 4-17-2008 @ 11:14PM

We tell our 2yo that it's something you do at home in your bedroom or the bathroom if you have to. We're trying not to make a big deal out of it, to avoid the power struggle if we can.

Jenni 4-17-2008 @ 6:22PM

The more you fight it, the more they do it. My advice: without really saying anything at all, just gently redirect their hand. For example, we are sitting reading a book and the finger goes in the nose, I gently pull his hand down out of the nose without even stopping the story. A lot of the time it's just become "a place to put it" kind of. It's like thumb sucking. It typically happens more when there is nothing to do. The less of a deal you make it, the easier it is to break.
I also give gently reminders if necessary. For example, as he's telling me a story, finger in his nose, I quietly say "wow! That's a great story. Don't forget to keep your finger out of your nose."
It's one of those things that eventually, they will grow out of; but mostly they just need constant reminding. The bigger deal you make out of it, the more the problem is going to exscalate

ame s 4-17-2008 @ 7:20PM

I agree with Jenni, try to redirect their hand.
With my older daughter, saying "People are watching you" nipped the habit in the bud. Younger daughter was never much of a picker.
Sad note: I had a friend in high school; beautiful popular girl, she would be looking you in the eye during a conversation and commence to rootin'! Right there, in public! In front of God and the whole world! I ran into her a couple of years ago (20 years out of high school) and yep, went mining for gold right there in the mall. Break that habit any way you can! There is nothing more gross than a rootin 40 year old woman.

natasha 4-17-2008 @ 10:20PM

My now 3.5 year old spent a good six months of picking his nose and then eating the prize. His favourite spots to do this was in public of course, just as a nice old italian lady would ask him his name, his finger would ram his nostril and then head to his mouth, and then repeat a couple more times for good measure. I ignored it completely, which I must say was a tad difficult! But after about six months, the frequency diminished heaps. He got bored with it and now hardly ever does it.

kiltmama 4-17-2008 @ 10:50PM

Perhaps the only thing less pleasing is one brother who picks the OTHER brother's nose!!! It happened in the bathtub tonight! I honestly think the 18mo just saw nostrils for the first time as his 4yo brother's head was tipped waaaay back for hair rinsing. I'm sure in his little melon, he thought "hey, look at that hole - wonder what's up there?!" Big brother was not pleased. At all. Which, of course, only made little brother more determined to get his finger up there!

Janet 4-18-2008 @ 12:45AM

When my now 13 year old daughter was 2 1/2 she was constantly picking her nose in public. One day I told her that nobody wanted to see her doing that. Consequently, the next time she commenced picking she held her other hand over her nose while she dug away and proclaimed " Nobody see it now mommy!"

Annika 4-18-2008 @ 8:17AM

My 3 year old used to just walk around with his finger in his nose all the time. I've tried ignoring it. Its a phase right??? He's kind of outgrowing it....BUT... Just wait until Riley moves on to the hands down the ass of his pants phase, we're moving on to that one.

isisaquaria 4-18-2008 @ 9:30AM

No pickers here....question came to mind as to why---Has Riley seen someone do it which MIGHT tigger the action in him? I think that MAY be the culprit--

I know that my kids, to my knowledge, did not see that until school and when they asked--we said it was a nasty "dirty" habit-so they never wanted to do it. Plus, I cleaned the little noses and taught them how in the nightly bath sessions-so the urge to pick may have been negated by a lack of material....JAT

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