Hot on HuffPost Parents:
Are Toxic Chemicals To Blame For Rising Rates Of Autism?
Melina Bellows: Why Being a Mom is the Coolest Job Ever
How to halt bedtime delay tactics
Filed under: Toddlers Preschoolers, Preschoolers, Development/Milestones: Babies, Bedtime
I think it's easy to underestimate the manipulation tactics of a two-and-a-half year old. After all, most of them can't properly form their words, they are unabashed by wicked knarled tangles on the back of their heads, they would wear pyjama pants and one brown sock in public if you let them. But for any parent who's witnessed the brilliant finesse of their small child's delay tactics at bedtime, it's easy to understand: these tiny people are much more cunning than they appear.
I've become used to the regular strategy, which starts at about 7:30 PM.
"After I line up dis car!" my son cries, and slowly, agonizingly brings the red fire truck up behind the police car. Then he needs his three stories, and then just one more, one more, I promit, DEN bed. And he's a rotten promise-keeper -- so he wants one more, and who am I to deny him a book? Then he wants his water, then a snack (a firm no to that one, teeth have been brushed) Lately, though, he's been successfully potty training and he has morphed this new development into his own nefarious purposes. Last night, he had to GO TOIWET four times before bed. It was strictly a delay tactic and I knew this, but was reluctant to tell him no -- as he managed to dribble some out each time and I am so grateful for the effort that I don't want to discourage it in any way. Even if I knew I was being manipulated, and the clock crept up to 8:30.
There's an article on CNN that has some great tips to circumvent bedtime delay tactics by children, and though it's a few years old, it provides some gems that I hadn't considered. A few of my favorites:
1. Make a chart. Check off all the boxes: when your child has put on pyjamas, brushed teeth, combed hair, etc. When the tasks are all complete, bedtime is non-negotiable. I like that this establishes routine and encourages participation.
2. Read at other times. This is one I hadn't considered, but one that I'm going to think about. Book reading can be drawn out a very long time at our house, so perhaps it's worthwhile to consider reading at naptime or during the day.
There are a lot more useful hints here.












ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
4-21-2008 @ 9:21AM
Ethel said...At our house, or should I say, in MY house, either go to bed and be quiet or you sit on the floor while I do chores until you are ready to get in bed. Why? Because there are other delay tactics, like getting on top of the 5' dresser, pulling all the clothes down in the closet, jumping up and down on the bed, and in general horsing around with you brother.
Reply
4-21-2008 @ 10:05AM
Anji said...As usual, Orion and Nolan are clearly communicating telepathically to make sure they're behaving in exactly the same way. Orion needs to sit on the pot AT LEAST five times after his bath. We have it at the end of his bed at bedtime, and for some reason he thinks I'll read him his stories/poems while he sits on it. Uh, no way buddy. Pull your PJs up and get into the damn bed!
Reply
4-21-2008 @ 11:28AM
SKL said...I agree with reading at other times. For us, bedtime means getting in bed with Bear or Doll, being tucked in, and being left in a very dark room with the door shut for the next 12 hours. Right before bedtime we go potty and while the girls are on the potties we do brushing, last bit of water drinking, any necessary changing, and if everyone's in a good mood, a couple of storybooks. Mom decides about that, though.
Reply
4-22-2008 @ 2:20PM
Jessica said...It seems like so long since I have heard any stories about Nolan.......I MISS HIM!
We still read at bedtime but I don't let her delay me on that one. We read ONE book and then she gets ONE opportunity to "read" it herself, back to me. It doesn't become an issue b/c I have never swayed on that one. What a meanie, huh.
I like reading before bed b/c it really seems to help calm her......especially after her dad has spent the last 30 minutes wrestling with her and getting her riled up!
Reply