Me, Juno, and Jamie Lynn Spears
Categories: Teens & Tweens, Adoption, Bump Watch, Mommy Wars, That's Entertainment
This weekend, I rented the Oscar-nominated film, Juno. It's easy to see why this little film generated such buzz. It's funny, smart, and heartwarming. It also brings up the perpetually relevant topic of teens, sex, unplanned pregnancy and the ever-contentious issue of "choice". As a mom, these are issues of great interest to me. As someone who has personally dealt with an unplanned pregnancy prior to marriage, it is also a subject dear to my heart.
After watching Juno, I came across an opinion piece in the Boston Globe about the film by Ellen Goodman, a well-known feminist writer. Goodman is critical of Juno and a "wave of movies about unexpectedly pregnant women - 'Knocked Up', 'Waitress', and 'Bella' - all deciding to have their babies and all wrapped up in nice, neat bows". She expresses deep concern for the row of tweens sitting in front of her in the movie theater while she watches Juno. What misleading messages, she asks, are "being absorbed through their PG-13 pores"?
Goodman is certainly not alone in her thinking. Many adults, pundits and parents alike, expressed outrage at the recent announcement of 16 year-old television star, Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy. In a society that offers abstinence as an "option" for teens and follows up with information about "safe sex", the parental fury over Jamie Lynn is presumably about her carelessness and ultimately, her decision to keep her baby - not her sexually active status. And understandably, no one wants to see a teenage girl go through the stigma of pregnancy, the pain of giving up a child, or the hardships of raising a child when one is seemingly ill prepared.
When I first learned that I was pregnant, I was 27 and in the middle of a series of on-air live auditions for a seat on ABC's "The View". I knew that the producers were seeking a single 20-something and that my untimely pregnancy would likely cost me the job, no matter how well I performed. Moreover, the auditions (11 in total) were going to continue for several months due to the immense ratings boost they were providing the network; it would be nearly impossible to disguise my condition through the process. I made the difficult decision to publicly announce my pregnancy (on the show). Sean and I got married in a small ceremony a month and a half later in Arizona.
I was in a committed relationship, but I was not engaged when I learned of my pregnancy. Sean was still in law school and I was on the verge of launching a television-hosting career on the hottest daytime talk show. Professionally speaking, the timing couldn't have been worse. Plus, I was deeply aware of the embarrassment and disappointment this would cause my devout Catholic parents.
Of course, there are difficulties that one must endure in making any tough choice. Witness Juno waddling through the school hallway, missing out on prom, and enduring the stares of peers, the judgmental look of a school secretary and the insensitive comment of an ultra sound technician during one of her prenatal visits. Her wit, good humor, and steely exterior did little to dissipate the pain I felt for her during those scenes - a testament to the fine acting skills of this film's rising star.
I was not a teen, but I could certainly relate to the feelings of despair that drove Juno into the "Women Now" clinic. However, what Juno (and the women in the other movies) learn, is that life's problems always look their worst when they first present themselves. In those moments we are very susceptible to underestimating our own strength and the willingness and ability of others to help us through. But it is precisely when we are gripped by fear and self-doubt that courage counts most. The films and heroines that Ellen Goodman dismisses as "fantasy" all celebrate this little life secret, crumpled bow and all.
As I have come to learn for myself, an unplanned pregnancy and child often results in unplanned and unexpected joy - and not just for the mother. What Goodman and others, fail to grasp is that in order for that to happen, one must have faith, hope, and the unsullied optimism of a teenage girl to believe in such things.
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Reader Comments (Page 2 of 2)
Ramona 4-23-2008 @ 11:43AM
Mel, thank you for your thought-provoking comments. I was in error to assume that everyone would understand what I meant by the word "society". The actual definition is as follows:
"A society is a grouping of individuals which is characterized by common interests and may have distinctive culture and institutions. Members of a society may be from different ethnic groups. A society may be a particular people, such as the Saxons, a nation state, such as Bhutan, or a broader cultural group, such as a Western society."
When I say that society has a resonsibility, I an speaking of the individuals that make it up..me, you, etc.
"WE shape society, every day, with every action" Yes, absolutely. This is my point. We, as a society, or better said, as a "grouping of individuals" influence others by our particular actions.
Your example of magazines is correct. We, as a grouping of individuals" make the choice to either buy the magazines or not, so therefore, we are making the conscience choice to financially support what they stand for, or not. Of course, we are all individuals and have our own free will. That is the beauty of humanity. Our influences, financially and otherwise, directly contribute to the direction of our world as we know it. If we don't buy a particular magazine, for instance (and I don't personally have anything against magazines), then eventually it will need to change its marketing or go out of business.
I know the last comment I made was that we all need to take some responsibility, and I stand by that. "we all" , as individuals, make up the society in which we live, so however you want to look at the word, we all do have a direct impact.
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Mel 4-23-2008 @ 12:03PM
Thanks for clarifying. You and I mostly agree, Ramona. Where we diverge is that I believe that the only way for society to improve is for families to improve, while you seem to see it as more of a give-and-take. If I'm understanding you correctly, you're somewhat aligned with the notion that "it takes a village." I am not. I believe that, no matter how bad society is, the presence of a good family will turn out kids who do right. Society cannot undo the benefits of a good family. It begins and ends with good families, and as long as families are as fragmented and piecemeal as they are, we can't legitimately ask society to appeal to the lowest-common-denominators that these families are turning out.
Ramona 4-23-2008 @ 12:19PM
Mel, actually I believe strongly in both. I feel that, as parents, we are responsible for the souls of our children. What we teach them in the home will help them when they go out into the world. There is an incredible breakdown of the family unit, and I believe this is why we see things like teen pregnancy, violence in schools, etc. I have to believe that what I teach and instill in my children at home will be enough to safeguard them from the "evils" in the world outside our front door.
However, I do believe that each of us should be active participants in cultivating a positive and moral society for those who will follow behind us. Taking religion out of it because I know everyone has different religious beliefs, there should be certain moral standards that we, as civilized people, adhere to. I do, to an extent, believe in "it takes a village", but with the important point that it must first start in the home. However, this philosophy is dangerous in our world today because not everyone agrees to a similar moral foundation.
Thanks for your responses :)
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ALS 4-24-2008 @ 8:44PM
As the mother of a daughter I also think movies like Juno are good. I think alot of times girls get into these situations because they think it will be "fun" and "want something to love". Movies like this show, to a degree, that it's hard and there are some big decisions that have to be made. Sheltering your kids from reality always ends in disaster.
Rachel: I went to school in Hayward with Sean. I actually dated one of his close friends. Small world. One of my friends told me about this site...had no clue of the connection until I saw a picture of Sean and your mentioning your husband was DA of Ashland County....I had heard that was what Sean was doing. I like your blog and your honesty. Your doing a great job:)
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Jill 5-03-2008 @ 9:50PM
I was also a young parent, age 23, with a "unplanned pregnancy." Although, I was engaged I felt ashamed being a Catholic and also having to break the news to my parents. My soon to be husband was delighted and very supportive, however getting married in our church and telling our Priest was difficult. Luckily, our Priest was accepting of us and pleased we wanted to expand our family sooner rather than later!
Looking back, I wonder what it would have been like if we waited to start our family another year or two. If I was able to finish my degree and find a job, would I be at home with our two chilidren now? The thought crosses my mind, however I feel blessed and honored to be a full time Mom.
Another twist is that I am adopted. My birth mother was only 18 when she had me and wanted me to be in a great Catholic home. I had a wonderful upbringing and credit her strength for allowing me such a great life and parents. Now being a mother I understand what my birth mom went through on deciding to give me up at such a young age. However, I credit Jamie Lynn and other young moms for making the sacrafice and owning up to a "mistake." The mistake may have been terminating the life just because of their age.
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