Motherhood would feel "violating" to diva Mariah
Mariah Carey is known for diva behavior such as requiring a red carpet lined with white candles to welcome her when she arrives at a destination and having a chauffeur for her dog, so it's probably in the best interests of everyone involved that she has decided not to have children but her reason why is a little unusual. The singer told OK! magazine she was childless by choice because, "I never wanted to feel violated and I know that's a kind of weird thing to say, but that's how I am."
She goes on to explain, "It's hard to have kids in this world. I don't think I could properly educate a child right now. Maybe in the future, but I actually haven't thought about it. For now, I enjoy my dog Jack's company. It's definitely because of childhood traumatic stuff. The whole not wanting to have a baby as a baby.
I don't understand what Mariah means when she equates motherhood with being violated. I didn't relish my girlie parts being on display during the birthing process and definitely wasn't one of those women enjoyed feeling the baby moving around inside. It felt like I swallowed a live trout and I sort of hated the sensation and just wanted the kid to stay still, concentrate on developing properly, and get the heck out of there in a timely manner. But I never felt violated.
There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be a mother, but when those feeling are due to a childhood trauma that's almost like double jeopardy. I hope Mariah getting some treatment to help work her way through whatever happened to her when she was younger.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
c_rousseau05 4-23-2008 @ 4:01PM
Before we judge her, which we should not be doing at all, but since you already have in this post you should ask yourself what did she mean by the word "violated"? I don't know what she meant but my closest guess is that having children would violate the world she has now, she's a diva, she loves her life and her not wanting children to share in that life with her is not a bad thing.
Having children is a personal choice and she's not a bad person for not wanting kids. Her statement probably sounds selfish to some but to me it sounds selfless, she admits to not having time for children and so why would she want to bring one into the world only to have to leave it with a nanny 90% of the time? She seems healthy, happy and content and she obviously is smart in knowing that her lifestyle cannot cater to a child. Having children is a blessing but if you don't have the time for them then why bother, all you will do is hurt them in the long run.
Whatever her childhood trauma is, i'm sure it's valid and she doesn't necessarily have to need help so that she'll change her mind about having children. Should she get help for whatever trauma that was? If she wants to, if it's interfering with her daily life, sure, but just because it keeps her from wanting children is not a good enough excuse. I don't think it's our place to judge her just because of a statement made in a magazine...you know how the media is i'm sure.
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Sandyone 4-23-2008 @ 6:01PM
Women who were sexually abused as children often have difficulty with childbirth. That's what popped to my mind when I read "violated". I know nothing about Mariah Carey's childhood (and precious little about her adulthood). Is she even married?
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dancingbarefoot 4-26-2008 @ 2:04AM
Perhaps, in struggling to explain what she meant she used a weird word. Or, perhaps she means that with her current lifestyle and media scrutiny that her privacy (and her child's) would be violated. Considering our need to analyze her attempt at explaining/defending a very personal choice, she's probably right.
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