Jenny McCarthy: Jim could have any 20-year-old
Categories: Celeb kids, Celeb parenting, Behaving badly
Women in their thirties can wear take-no-prisoners red lipstick without looking like a clownish kid in a candy store. They can wear sky-high heels with panache, easily relate life experience and favorite quotes from famous authors, without sounding laughably pretentious. Many have started families: they finally understand the mind-blowing power of their own bodies. They know what they want and who they are, so much more than they did in their twenties. So why do so many feel inferior to twenty-two year olds when it comes to desirability?I just finished reading this People blurb about Jenny McCarthy, bubbling over about her relationship of several years with comedian Jim Carrey, 46. McCarthy -- a beautiful and vibrant 35 says of her Carrey:
"He could have any 20-year-old perfect girl with perfect breasts, and he stays. He has really opened his heart and his life to us. I'll forever be grateful."
The insinuation is that a nubile girl barely past her teens is preferable to a beautiful famous Mom in her thirties. She'll forever be grateful? Why, because she is a 35-year-old woman with a child and he still chooses her? Man, I might be too sensitive on this topic, but it makes my heart rumble.
A lot of my friends are skidding up toward the mid-thirties mark, and my stomach catches in my throat each time one of them says wistfully, looking at the skinny waist of a 23-year-old "I remember when I looked like that."
I can't say I've never been envious of a prettier, more dewy-faced girl, but I do realize that I'm in the prime of my life. I've had a baby, learned who I am, understood that my body is more amazing than I ever gave it credit for before. I am finally comfortable in my own skin, understand a little more about the soul underneath it.
I wish celebrities wouldn't perpetuate the notion that youth is better. I wish the tides could somehow gently turn to celebrate motherhood, fine lines and work-worn hands, the wisdom of age and the real beauty that comes from experience.
Sure, Jim Carrey could have any 20-year old with perfect breasts. But he'd sure be missing out.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
queenoqueens 5-02-2008 @ 3:26PM
Yes, I wish the insecurity that so many fall prey to would just go away. It's terrible when we take our value and just hand it over to someone else to affirm or deny.
There are some folks (men and women) for which physical beauty is the end all. Let them have their youngsters, and leave everyone else to more meaningful business.
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Nicola 5-02-2008 @ 4:06PM
I have to say that, at 32, I definitely feel the strain of growing older on my appearance. It was all so easy in my 20s, looking good, keeping fit, never put on an ounce of weight, endless energy. I looked and felt YOUNG, beautiful, desirable!
Now, well, not so much. My face is showing the signs of age, wrinkles and loss of elasticity. My body is fit, but doesn't hold it in the same way. If that makes sense. There is no tiny waist and pert little back side. I look like somebody's mother. Somebody's mother who works out every day, sure, but still, a mom.
And, heck, I AM a mom! But, it doesn't meant that its easy to deal with the loss of all of that powerful sexuality and youth. My husband is no spring chicken himself, but sure, if he could have a 22 year old, he'd be off like a shot. I know that we'd all love to say, "Not MY husband!", but I'm simply being honest. Is not exactly unheard of.
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mamaloo 5-02-2008 @ 4:21PM
You have to realise that Jenny and Jim live within a culture in which women 30+ have extremely limited viability and almost non-existent sexual worth. Famous men of any age, physical shape and proclivity (as long as they are rich and/or famous) can have their pick of any 18-22 year old girl fresh off a bus, desperate to get ahead in any way. And the men, to an extent that would really blow your mind despite the general normalness of mean elsewhere on the continent, have accepted it as the normal culture.
I think hearing a funny, smart, loving woman of any age say such a thing as Jenny had is a bit sad, but considering they are from LA, it's understandable.
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Nicola 5-02-2008 @ 6:50PM
Being that I TOTALLY see where she's coming from, and also that I am a southern California native, seriously, am I skewed by my cultural upbringing? Is this not normal? I'm not being snarky. I'm being serious! I live in the midwest now as an adult, but obviously my entire worldview was shaped by growing up in southern CA (where I was born and lived until grad school). I'm interested to see how other ladies feel on this topic. Because, me, I feel very "ick" and old in my 32 year old body...
mamaloo 5-02-2008 @ 5:09PM
I think it is very much a part of that culture.
Me, I'm 37. I've never bought into the beauty myth, so turning 30 didn't phase me one little bit. As I've gotten older, I have shed more and more of the accoutrements of fashion until all that is left is me. I surround myself with people who have similar worldviews. As a mother and a business person, the last thing I have time for is pining for the perfect heels or fancy purses or the right colour lipstick.
But, if you grew up in a culture obsessed with youth and looks, where young nubile girls were arriving daily willing to do anything asked of them, the other side of 30 would seem old and crochety.
And, while I don't think men are imbeciles, I think it must be VERY hard to not think with your d&ck when you live in a culture that is as permissive as SoCal's is, where young flesh is constantly on offer and new flesh is constantly being restocked.
Thank goodness I live up here in the frigid north amidst a micro-culture of artists and thinkers. There's less pressure and judgment regarding age and looks, in my experience.
Derek 5-02-2008 @ 5:10PM
I'm going to file this one under "taken out of context". One, I'm willing to bet alot of men would take 35 year old Jenny over a handful of 20 somethings.
Second, like another poster stated Men of fame, such as Jim do have the option to pursue younger, "prettier" women. BUT... I have a feeling Jenny is reffering more to the idled responsibility of these perfect breasted women vs. choosing to spend his time with a 35 year old MOM with a "special" needs child. Though, Jim seems like just the right kind of person to deal with a child with Autism.
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spotlight 5-02-2008 @ 5:47PM
i think you nailed it. taken out of context and i also think she was talking about the "perfect breasted 20 yr old woman vs. choosing to spend his time with a 35 year old MOM with a "special" needs child"
Jennifer 5-02-2008 @ 5:13PM
My husband is a personal trainer at the elite level of his field working in LA/Hollywood. He could have any bimbo that he wanted (he is also in amazing shape so it isn't like we are talking hypothetically.) He has dated them before and he chose me. I am not in perfect shape and wasn't when we met. He is 29 and I am 31. "Perfection" of body is not always the most desirable thing. Personally I feel sexier with each passing year. Sexy is not always about what your body looks like but how you carry yourself; that is something most 22 year olds just don't get and something any real man totally understands.
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Becca 5-02-2008 @ 7:02PM
I'm thinking that she meant something closer to "I'll love him forever for it." Because like others have pointed out, it's more than just the fact that she's not 20 any more.
I'm 48, my Husband is 40. He happens to prefer older women. Until 10 years ago he never even conceived of being married to anyone. He didn't lack in female companionship. He chose to marry me, raise a child with me, and he stays faithful to me. Because he loves me, and I love him.
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Eva 5-02-2008 @ 9:06PM
I'm not too familiar with her attitude. My main beef with my body isn't how it looks but its milk production capacity and its tendency to preeclampsia. Other than that it does what I need it to, so that's great!
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JustMyThoughts 5-02-2008 @ 10:00PM
"Me, I'm 37. I've never bought into the beauty myth, so turning 30 didn't phase me one little bit."
Me, too. I think the difference is that, for me, being pretty was never a part of where I got my self-esteem. I think I'm pretty enough and I'm in good shape and I have all my original parts. :) But my self-esteem was always more about being well-read and funny and educated and hopefully interesting. So as my looks inevitibly deteriorate, it's not such a big deal because I'm still well-read and funny and educated and hopefully interesting. When you measure your self-worth based on your looks, that's a losing proposition.
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Carolyn 5-03-2008 @ 2:57AM
There are a ton of celebrities we could criticize for perpetuating negative stereotypes, but I don't think Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey belong in that category.
I agree that she was just trying to express how much she loves him. I'm grateful my husband fell in love with me, but I don't think that insinuates I'm undeserving. I'm just thankful for him, and him for me (I would hope!).
They seem to be genuinely happy. I say good for them!
Carolyn
http://www.momsontheedge.ca
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