A glow in the dark, for those who have lost
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I read about 70 blogs a day, most of them parenting blogs. Many of them are funny, most are well-written, all are provocative. Of my seventy favorite bloggers, three have lost babies in the last two years.
The first time I read about a normal, everyday Mama losing her newborn, I cried. Alone in front of my computer, tears streamed for hours in hurt, horror and dismay. I had not yet given birth to my own son, but even at eight months pregnant, I understood that there can be nothing worse in this world than losing a child. Karla has remained one of my favorite bloggers, and there is rarely a day when I don't think of her lost baby girl Ava, and all she meant to her parents.
I died a little inside when I read about Kate's loss of her baby boy last year, and then again recently when my blog friend Jen lost her brand new girl. It's not a topic we like to talk about, the death of an innocent new soul, but it is one that needs to be acknowledged and addressed, supported and discussed, in order that healing might begin. Until now, there have been few online resources that have even attempted to address these kinds of unfathomable loss.
Kate emailed me the other day to tell me about the birth of a new site: Glow in the Woods. The site is, according to its mission statement:
"For mamas of still babies, tiny babies, lost potential of all kinds.
In the beginning you stagger, disoriented, through this storm.We want to be a glow through the trees, a golden refuge of log and glass. Stumble up the steps, shake off the snow and the crust and the stiffness, cross the threshold to be encircled by figures welcoming, nodding, easing you to a roaring fire and piping hot tea and wine and whoopie pies and whatever else warms you from the inside out."
It is an example of something good and well-meaning and hopeful in this tangled forest of blogs, and I already know its presence will help aching souls who are experiencing the deepest dread of any parent.
I have the utmost respect and admiration for the women who have come together to bravely share their stories and experience, in hope that others might take comfort. That's what Mama love is all about.