Sharing a dorm room
Categories: Teens & tweens, Love & sex, Education
Parents of college-bound children, beware! Boys and girls, your innocent little babies, perhaps, are co-habitating in a single dorm room, with school approval! Even well-known, respectable schools such as Brown University, Oberlin College, and the California Institute of Technology are permitting this heinous situation. Next year, Stanford University will join in the debauchery and allow it.Sure, students say that nothing goes on and that they don't even watch each other getting dressed, but -- come on! -- these are college kids! Their hormones are raging! The fires of lust are burning inside them and there they are, dropped into those dens of iniquity known as colleges and you're going to tell me that there's no hanky-panky going on? Puh-lease!
Well, actually, according to those involved, it isn't about sex; it's about friends rooming together even though they happen to be of differing genders. "People are shocked to hear that it's happening and even that it's possible," said twenty-year-old Erik Youngdahl, a sophomore at Wesleyan University in Connecticut. But "once you actually live in it, it doesn't actually turn into a big deal." Youngdahl shares a room with friend and fellow Russian studies student Michelle Garcia.
"It ultimately comes down to finding someone that you feel is compatible with you," said Jeffrey Chang, founder of the National Student Genderblind Campaign, a group that promotes gender-neutral housing. "Students aren't doing this to make a point. They're not doing this to upset their parents. It's really for practical reasons."
In all honesty, it wouldn't bother me and I do think that men and women (and, despite the fact that they seem like kids to me, we really are talking about young men and women) can share a room without there being anything more to it than that.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Sabrina 5-05-2008 @ 3:35PM
I wish my college had allowed this, I had a number of male friends who I got along wonderfully with. Unfortunately I didn't have such great luck living with females! I just wonder about couples who are romantically involved and living in the same dorm room. The article says they've not really had a problem with couples who break up, but I think it would be awkward to continue sharing a room at that point.
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Jenni 5-05-2008 @ 6:57PM
I am absolutly appalled by this. I have been a college student and hated the fact that my mom wouldn't let me stay in the co-ed dorms. There boys and girls were separated by floors. Now, I am glad I never did. I have gotten more old-fashioned in only a few short years; but I know that this is absolutly inappropriate. Call me a prude; but I don't let my 22 year old step-son who lives with us in his room with his girlfriend at our house. Live together in a dorm? Not on my dime!
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mamaloo 5-05-2008 @ 7:37PM
The apartment dorms at my old Uni have always been co-ed and the showers in all dorms everywhere are co-ed. Yup, the showers. I've never heard that it's a problem for anyone. Kids interested in hooking up usually go to the club on campus to do it.
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Marylena 5-06-2008 @ 12:25AM
I would have roomed with my boyfriend, no question. He was also my best friend and still is.
Of course, by now, he's my husband of almost 10 years, but back then we would have been two romantically involved persons living together without the benefit of marriage. Many people, our parents included, would not have approved of this situation.
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Meagan 5-06-2008 @ 12:54AM
The thing is... once they're 18 they're adults. Not really, but legally, so... it doesn't and shouldn't really matter what we think about it. We've decided that they're legally responsible for themselves so we have to go ahead and LET them be responsible for themselves.
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Kirstie 5-06-2008 @ 12:08PM
I go to Drew University in NJ, and the issue of gender neutral housing is being debated by our board of trustees right now. The idea was brought up by our Gay-Straight Alliance, and looks like it'll be passed.
Personally, I have no problem with it .. if you're more comfortable that way, then good for you. I don't know that I'd participate .. my boyfriend and I aren't sure that it'd be the best plan for us. I mean, we already spend basically every waking moment together, and seeing that we live across the hall from each other we could easily be having sleepovers if we chose to. Having your own space is good, though, especially when you're this young.
Also, I can't see either of our Roman Catholic families being okay with us living together!!!
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Lisa 5-11-2008 @ 10:29PM
I'm a little insulted that all people seem to associate college students with are sex and alcohol...sure that exists and I know a whole bunch of hoes but I also know a fair share of virgins and students who are very respectful of eachother. Just because a room is co-ed doesn't mean there is raunchy animal sex going on every night of the week. By this point sex is everywhere, shouldn't the more important message be to teach safe sex rather than pretend everyone is waiting for marriage? Dear parents, there are lots of 15 year olds having babies....and they aren't finding themselves in that situation because of co-ed dorm rooms.
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Lynn 5-13-2008 @ 1:25PM
I think that it could be fine for the 18 and older students but those attending under the age of 18 should either be segragated into different dorms and supervised mostly or forced to commute to a colllege close to thier parent's house and not allowed dorm housing at all. I feel all of this mainly due to the statutory rape issues, yes they will do what they do but legally the colleges should cover themselves better since minors are there. Allowing under aged kids to dorm without supervision and co-ed would be like highschoolers being allowed to have sex on school property. JMO though. Maybe strict supervison of minor college students could reduce the violence of /to minors who are possibly more vulnerable as a rule. I know none of my kids would dorm or apartement reside until 18+ but again just my 2cents worth!
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Morgan 5-16-2008 @ 4:29PM
My school is just starting to do this next year as part of a pilot program. Honestly, for what we have to pay for on-campus housing we should be able to live with whomever we want. Also keep in mind that the reason my school started this in the first place is to cater to the needs of our transgendered students. With the new program, they have the option of living with whatever gender they feel most comfortable with (or with other trans people). I think it's funny everyone is flipping out over the possibility that kids might start having sex. Newsflash- kids who want to will, and do have sex regardless of who they're living with. "Respectable" schools are starting these programs to respect the needs of their student body.
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Nina 5-24-2008 @ 6:36PM
I think co-ed dormatories are a wonderful idea. American needs to remove its' prude head from it burried nook in the sand. If you think your child is incapable of having a friendship with someone of a different gender without sexual occurences, then you mistrust and doubt your childs competency.
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