One-third of married moms have cheated!

I am not naive, and know that marriage has its challenges, but THIS I do NOT believe. One-third is a huge proportion, and not consistent with other surveys of infidelity.

P.S. To Micha, my heart breaks for you. Yes, you are one of the people who has done her best and has a right to happiness, before your child reaches 18. Try to imagine explaining all of this to her someday. She'll be aghast, and feel terrible that you sacrificed so much. Give that some thought, and try counseling, for yourself alone. There may not be anything you can do to change things right now, but you aren't condemned to live like this for 12 1/2 more years. It's not a jail sentence we're talking about. You know, this wouldn't be expected of you in most Western countries, not even in the U.K. (Not even Princess Di remained faithful -- remember?) So why do you think it has to be this way here?

Reply

I think what the reality is not that people can't sustain monogomy, but that people want more of everything yesterday. We have been marketed to think that if we don't have more sex, more clothes, more cars, more phones, more relationships with different people; that somehow we are missing out. And it is a huge misconception that we all fall pray to to some degree and leaves us on a continuing chase of nothing. We are a product of advertising that sells us more, more, more of nothing.

As for the argument that people are not made to be monogomous, that isn't true. People are made to be attracted to many others based on certain chemicals in our bodies. But there is a whole other set of chemicals that also gives us the drive to want to pair bond with one person. So we are neither made to be promiscuous or monogomous. We are actually made to be both and neither. It's the fact that we have the ablility to choose what we want, is what seperates us from animals.

People cheat, people hurt each other, people love each other. At the end of the day, relationships aren't perfect because people aren't perfect. But there are still people getting married and there are still people hoping to make a lasting commitment.

Reply

Wow, all these complaints about men... how about this: You get married to a woman and you get a job. She goes out and spends all the money you make. She nags you about everything. She wants you to magically know everything she's thinking, and yet she could care less what you think. She is a manipulative liar, and you're stuck with her because you have a shared responsibility - a great little kid.

Yeah, I wouldn't have sex with her either. I wouldn't even want to look at her. Let her cheat, then she can't get half my money. Then some other poor sap can learn the horrible lesson you did. The lesson: NEVER GET MARRIED.

Reply

The answer lies in the use of birth control.

Expanding on the comment by "Mybusiness," consider this: one very common reason for wives to no longer be attracted to their wives comes from their use of contraception. Once women are done having kids, and even hit their menopause, the use of birth control ends and so their body's chemistry changes. They wave goodbye to the hormones attracted to their contraceptive mate and they say hello to a new set of hormones that find their husband unattractive.

Don't believe me? Do some research. I suggest starting at the link below. And ladies, stop pumping your body full of unnecessary drugs and abortifications, aka birth control.

God bless!

http://www.janetsmith.excerptsofinri.com/

Reply

I have read most of the comments on here and I am truly amazed on how some of you speak of your marriages. I never read a marriage manual that said a marriage would be easy befor or after kids I have read that it takes time, communication, understanding, honesty and love. I am the mother of 4 young children and let me tell you it is not easy to always keep the "spice" in your marriage but ask yourself when was the last time you put something hot and amazing on and taunted your husband for an unscheduled romp. Men are very much like babies themselves and need to be wanted a little. I really feel it is not primarily the man's job to keep the fire blaring hot. To the WEAK ladies (and I use the term with caution) that have cheated on your spouses you may think your fat lazy unsupportive, unattentive husband is the worst ever and maybe he is but guess what he didn't get that way overnight, something caused that behavior. You may think the grass is greener on the other side and it probably is for awhile then guess what SAME OLD STORY. Think of what you do to your children and be woman enough to leave instead of being the "victim" that you don't get enough attention. Think of the lived that YOU created not alone I might add and how this could destroy their spirit. lives and future relationships. If you are pathetic enough to cheat you deserve everything you get once you get caught because by the way you will their is no perfect affair. I guess I really can't relate I do have a marriage of 12 years and 4 children later that get's hotter by the day but true story that's two people working towards the same goal a happy healthy life and a fabulous sex life.

Reply

Women marry to have children. For women that is the primary motivation for marriage-being a mother. The man is an ATM.

This article will serve as a warning to the few men out there who think with their brain.

Marriage in America, with the divorce laws and Family Court so heavily tilted to the advantage of women, is a great option for women and a very very foolish one for men.

Sad but true.

Reply

Damn straight!! I will take everthing that dog has to offer me . Dont get me wrong I love my husband . I have the financial security ,the beautiful children, the beautiful house and the vacations. He gets a cook and housecleaner and everthing else that goes with managing a large house and family. I get to keep my lover on the side .. OH! I GIVE MY HUSBAND A LITTLE FROM TIME TO TIME. JUST TO SHUT HIM UP.!

Reply

This survey is so flawed from a research standpoint it is ridiculous! You do not have any demographic information to state how long they are married, age, ethnic background etc. This is as bad as the Shere Hite survey many years ago! You have no control on people taking it multiple times so it may not be actually 34% for that reason alone! Who is likely to read cookie magazine & AOL body...very different people! Not my 69 yr old mother who has been married for 46 yrs! Get someone who knows how to do research doing these surveys. You got men now suspicious of wives, hiring private detectives & just think if you already have a domestically violent husband. He hears this & then is convinced with his lack of logic he already has!

Reply

I think most of it comes from lack of sex and excitment. Thats why a lot of married guys LOVE strip bars or cheat on their spouses because they will always have that sex drive. Women need to be and stay erotic and please their men. Also this corporate woman stuff is getting out of control. They are married to their jobs and have this attitude that comes with it. Plus it doesn't help when they pay more attention to the men at work than the man that lives under the same roof.

Reply

This is nothing new, I first heard of this phenomenon years ago, and it only verified what I had already observed, that a woman's love only lasts 3 to 4 years. I'd seen many couples be soooo in love for a while, only to later see her begin treating him like dirt later on. She go from 'tend & befriend' to 'hate & berate'. Some have suggested that this is due to a hormonal cycle developed when the human species needed produce genitic diversity. Thus, primal woman would seek a new mate about the time her child from the first guy was about 3 to 4 years old. Yup, that's right, today's women can't control their primal urges!

Reply

I happen to be going through this now with my parents. Being an adult child who is married and out of the house, it doesn't affect me as much. However, I have younger siblings who still live at home. What I can't understand is how my cheating parent didn't take the consequences their actions would have on their children into account when they used such poor judgment. The embarrassment alone is enough to breed years of resentment.

Reply

I have read most comments and some of you people have rocks in your head instead of brains. It is NOT primarily the mans job to keep the marriage "hot" I am the mom of 4 young children and have never read a manual that says marriage was easy before or after children but I have read that it takes compassion, love, communication and understanding. Ask yourself when the last time was that you get all dolled up and taunted your husband into the bedroom, it is NOT primarily the man's position to keep the flame burning hot. For all you cheating ladies ( i use that term with caution) You may be fooling your fat lazy unsupportive unattentive husband but you are truly fooling yourself once upon a time you did love that poor slob laying on the couch....Cheating is the weak way out be woman enough to leave and think about what you are teaching your children about life love and relationships history always repeats itself. You may think that the grass is greener on the other side and it probably is for awile but then thing get old and comfortable and it's the same old story. You can't expect a man to get all hot and bothered over a dirty t shirt and shorts that have cheerios and fruit snacks stuck to them. Take some pride in the way you look like you did before children and maybe you will get the attention you deserve. Kathy Murphy you are a poor excuse for a woman and what goes around comes around their is no perfect crime everyone gets caught eventually. I wish you luck you will need it.

Reply

never cheat on her my life was spent working she left me when igot laid of in 89she had money in here fcu and as soon as she , got thru paying the loanor second lien on the house she had more income to splurge,plus the cop she had the hots for her ,made things even worse she was hard headed and left me with the kids she lived with the cop for eight years found another fool to marry her poor guy she had mood swings and diabetes and dint know why she acted the way she did left us broke she could care less about her family like abandoned dogs on the street now she wonders why her kids dont remeber her b ds she,s a total piece of dung, god bless her doubt he blesses adultreses, but she married a millionare , lucky sob she has three homes ,rv and money in the bank she will leave her money to her bro i got screwed with her 401 k , ikept the house and bills she got off easy no chiukd support kids lives were ruined

Reply

I think that stats like this are sad. I also feel that noone should judge anyone else. Everyone has to do what they feel is right for them. Many time that infidelity is an issue...there was some major underlying factors that neither you nor I would know about. If everyone in the world were exactly the same it sure would be a boring world now , wouldn't it? I think it is most important to be true to yourself, because if you are not..How can you be to anyone else?
Hope every mom out there has a great Mother's Day!

Reply

Some women are conniving selfish creatures who place their own needs above the husband and family. So are some men. How do we know which will cheat and who will be faithful? Talk to them, their feelings will become known. No one can lie all the time.

Reply

I got involved with a married woman that I was crazy about. She called me up and we got rolling. For a few months, it was great, talking about possibly divorcing her husband, but then she started to cool off on me little by little.

Then she told me she wanted to take her marriage seriously. Shortly after that, I found her out with another man and I went nuts.

I always wanted to be married and have kids, but just couldn't seem to hook up with the right woman. So I've stayed single and no longer have any real interest because women change their minds too often for my liking.

Last but not least, she never got divorced but her husband died in his forties. She probably poisoned him. LOL!

Reply

I didn't believe this one either..I don't think that many women cheat on their husbands.

Reply