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Contest calls adoptive moms "non-moms"
Categories: Adoption, Playground Bureau, Media
A few years ago, my best friend decided to build her family through adoption. Recently, she became Mom to an amazing young boy. She's taught me so much over the last few years, both about the process but also about how how to be sensitive to adoptive parents and children. So I was shocked when I read that a company called Teleflora, which is currently sponsoring an America's Favorite Mom contest for Mother's Day (Donnie and Marie Osmand will crown the winner on NBC's Primetime tomorrow night), categorized adoptive moms in their contest as "non-moms." An adoption blogger complained, and the company quickly realized their error. They've now change the category to "adopting moms" and issued an apology on their web page.
I really don't think Teleflora meant to be hurtful, but I do think that they weren't taking the feelings of families who have adopted into consideration. By "non" I think they meant, "moms who came to be parents by less than conventional means." They included stepparents, grandparents, and neighbors in the category. Still, I can't help but be amazed that anyone thought describing a mother as NON was appropriate, or that moms of any origin wouldn't be hurt to be categorized as such.
I'm grateful that Teleflora took the complaint seriously and made the necessary changes. A mom is a mom is a mom, after all. What do you think about Teleflora's blunder?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
CLM 5-10-2008 @ 4:38PM
Wow! That had to be embarrassing! I'm an adoptive mom myself and I think I'd have been a little taken aback. I don't like that step-moms are also non-moms. In my book, if you are doing the parenting, you're the mom. It will be interesting to see if this happens again around Father's Day.
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Ethel 5-12-2008 @ 4:24PM
As a full time stepmom of two amazing kids, I take offense to being called a nonmom. I'm with CLM. Whether you are a step, or adoptive or a grandparent, friend of the family, aunt whatever, if you are there everyday doing the work, you are the mom. Teleflora needs to get a clue. In this day and age you can't possibly have a narrow definition of family.
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ninainindia 5-11-2008 @ 9:49AM
And now they are still in a seperate category, why? They are moms. Very strange.
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dee 5-11-2008 @ 10:00AM
More than one blogger complained. Every adoption board I visit was full of outraged readers, most of whom sent off e-mails to NBC (who is hosting the special), The Today Show (who promoted it), Teleflora (the major sponsor) and Marie Osmond (the host and "non-mom" of several adopted kids. While the apology and category name change were nice, they obviously don't really get it, as adoptive moms and step-moms are still separated from the rest of the moms and categorized with neighbors, grandmothers (also moms, by definition) and others. I won't be watching and I'll just have to get my mom's flowers somewhere else.
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Bethany Sanders 5-11-2008 @ 9:52AM
Dee and ninainindia,
You both make good points. Many moms have said that categories don't belong in this kind of contest in the first place.
Thanks for commenting!
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Maxie 5-11-2008 @ 11:57AM
I am saddened and outraged. I am a single mother, who decided to pursue adoption to form my family. I don't even like to think of myself as an "adoptive mother" now that my daughter is home with me. The adoption is something that happened; it does not define who we are NOW. We are a family like any other. But, according to Teleflora, my parenting, and my relationship to my child is the equivilent of a neighbor who steps in - from their website:
"The essence of this category still focuses on a grandparent, neighbor, step mom, or mom to adopted or foster children, each one raising and loving a child. "
They didn't "take it seriously and fix the blunder" - they made a cosmetic change and slapped a bandaid on it. They did not "fix" it.
It goes without saying that I will never use Teleflora again.
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DONNA 6-22-2008 @ 12:53AM
I have just adoptive my grandson and if it was't for him i don't know what i would do. he is my life now that my husban is go, so if you get the chance to do it go for it.
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