Telling lies
Categories: Preschoolers
My three year old has just recently started to explore the nuances of telling the truth.
He's beginning to experiment with what happens when he tells a story that his more tall tale than truth. Right now his tall tales are harmless and imaginative, and I can tell he's weaving together snippets of information that he's heard from books, along with the wild color of his own imagination.
The problem is I'm not quite sure how to teach him about telling the truth.
As adults we are constantly sending mixed messages to our children. We say we're "fine" even when we're exhausted and moody and miserable, when someone asks. And who really expects the cold hard truth when they ask, "Do I look fat to you?"
In fact, lying is a huge part of social tact, and the people who haven't mastered the fine nuance of bending the truth somewhat stick out like a sore thumb.
We don't want to know every detail someones trip to the dentist or whatever, when we say a simple "How are you?" in passing. You know those people, right? The ones that launch into full narratives--and you're sort of stuck there nodding and smiling, even though you don't actually give a crap what they're telling you about?
But how do you explain this to kids: that telling the truth is always important and necessary, except when it isn't? Is there is a difference between honesty and telling the truth?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
pbhj 5-14-2008 @ 4:05PM
>>> You know those people, right? The ones that launch into full narratives--and you're sort of stuck there nodding and smiling, even though you don't actually give a crap what they're telling you about?
If you don't care, why ask?
Reply
Uly 5-14-2008 @ 10:58PM
I just ignore the lie and proceed as though they'd told me the truth.
For the longest time, my older niece didn't wipe when leaving the bathroom. This is a real problem, she's very prone to infections. So every time she left the bathroom, I'd remind her to wipe. A lot of times, for whatever reason, she'd lie to me. "I already wiped" - well, I can see she hadn't, there's no paper in the toilet. I could start a big thing about how Lying is Wrong, but it's a lot easier to just tell her to "wipe again". I know she's lying, she knows she's lying, and she knows it's not doing any good - that's all the lesson she needs.
I also don't set her up to lie. If I know, for example, she hit her sister, I don't ask "DID YOU HIT YOUR SISTER???" I just say "Hitting your sister means you get a time-out. Go stand in the corner until you feel ready to behave and talk about your behavior."
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