Mom Gives Public Punishment To Son, 12, Accused Of Bullying

She did not label her son as dumb, she labeled his actions as such. I applaud this mother for taking action and would accept advice from her any day of the week on how to parent my children. Where do I sign up for that class?! I did something similar with my son when he got himself kicked out of school at 8yrs old for fighting. He thought he was getting to stay home and play, my thoughts were he could pick up trash from the sides of the road for the day. He didn't get kicked out of school again until he was in highschool and it wasn't for fighting. The column says that "Many parents and even more teachers weighed in, agreeing that too many parents are absent, disengaged and UNWILLING to discipline their kids." Unwilling is the wrong word to use since the government has made it nearly impossible for you to discipline your child. I have a 17 year old girl who has decided she doesn't like my rules and moved out. The law states that I can't stop her from making this choice. Fine, I figure let her learn a lesson but when she decides it's too hard in a couple of weeks and tries to come home...well I don't think so. Only, the law states that I have to let her come back. I think that's crap...if I don't let her back into my home and CPS gets wind of it I could lose my other children or end up in some stupid parenting class that doesn't work. The government needs to step back and untie our hands so we can take our rights as parents and teach our children morals.

Should he wear a hat that says "Thief" or "Bully"? How about the kid that got ripped off and shoved around? What does that child feel for the rest of their life. A little public shame might help the kid to restrain himself in the future making life better for all concerned. Including himself. Just a thought as everyone is different and is entitled to their opinion.

I'm sorry but I think we should see more of the Dunce cap maybe we wouldn't have so many problems with the children today I won't drive school bus for that reason because I would have all the parents mad at me for kicking them off the bus for disruptive behavure I think we need more parents like her the love and logic program only is good for so much not everything I think she did right

You must not have children. There comes a time when the only thing that will help is a little public humiliation. Do you think him humiliating his mother was okay? I applaud this beautiful, brave woman, and I hope more parents take a page from her book. I did. My daughter decided to start skipping school. I went to school with her. Held her hand and escorted her into every single classroom, and sat behind during each class. My child has now changed her group of friends, quit skipping class, and now actually tries to do her best. The only way to be a good parent is to use tough love when they do something incredibly stupid. As far as the hat goes: you are what you do. I bet this young man will thank his mother for her love. My daughter has.

I have two children. Granted, they are not as old as some of your kids. Perhaps, I will change my mind over time. However at this point in time, I don't agree with what this mom did. Perhaps "dumb" wasn't the best word to describe my opinion of her tactic, but I don't think that what she did was the best.

Having said that, I go back to my initial sentence, "Personally, I think that every child is different and it's up to the parents to figure out what's best to discipline them." That doesn't mean I have to personally agree with their decisions though.

Would you feel any different if that kid walked up to you, bullied you and stole your purse? You say dumb parent, but that parent may have saved someone (maybe even you) from being another victim of someone who simply sees something they want (and didn't work for) so they just bully someone and "take it".

I've seen young kids rob people and I wondered what there parents would do if they knew ... before they were put in jail.

Two questions/statements for Rousseau:

1. What is wrong with using a punichment another parent has used? Aren't we all supposed to learn from each other? Why is it wrong that she was the third parent to use it?

2. Majority of teens "hate" their parents at one time or another during those years. I really don't think that he is scarred for life....humility in teens is really good for them.

Nothing is wrong with parents using punishment they saw someplace else, everyone does it, our parents punish us and we use what they did on our kids, same thing. I do know that teens hate their parents at one point or another (or say they do), but I can't help but believe that this child will NEVER get over what happened to him, what his own mother did to him.

We're supposed to love our children, in good times and bad, not make a spectacle of them. There are better ways to go about punishing our children. Ironic to think how so many people are backing what she did and giving her kudos on it, but it's abuse to spank your child? I think what she did can be seen as abuse, emotional abuse and torture with physical humiliation thrown in. I'd like to know if you would seriously have your child parade around with a sign on his neck like she did to her son. This is the year 2008, not medieval times, it is much like the stocks where they would put theives and the filth of the town to get mocked in public with hands and feet bound. What she did is not as extreme but it has the same purpose behind it.

It wasn't his Mum that did it to him, it was the result of his actions. Grown-ups have to take responsibility, this teen just learnt a little of that.

That would be great,and we can sit around a camp fire singing cheerful songs and hug each other. HE STOLE and HE BULLIED. How humiliated was the kid he did this to? He has to understand that there are rules and that breaking them there is punishment. He should have to except responsiblity for his CRIME. If you read todays headline you see a city that watched an elderly man get run over and didn't lift a finger to help him. Is that what as civilized people we have become? A people who except criminals and condemn the victims. I say bring back tough love and stop coddling our children.

I think that you have tough love confused. Tough love is showing our children to do right by doing something that makes them confront what they did wrong. There is nothing LOVING about having your child humiliated.

On a personal note, I got bullied as a kid, through my entire school experience up until high school and even a little then too. I never have wanted more than an apology and a reason of "why". To this day I STILL don't know why but i've moved on.

Tough love would be having the bully go up and apologize to the kid he bullied in public, during school or something, over the intercom at school or something like that. To apologize to his parents, sacrificing allowances and outings as punishment, letting him EARN his fellow citizens trust by participating in things that force him to be kind to other people and other children. Having him volunteer someplace...that would be tough love, to show him that others have feelings. My parents practiced tough love and would NEVER have done something that that kids mother did to him. Just because we don't publicly torture and humiliate our children doesn't mean that we coddle them.

I agree! The parents expect the school to do the dicisipline and then when the kid complains they get mad at the school! Hey then you do the dicisipline because I'm sure as h*ll sure that the teachers and other faculty members are tired OF DOING IT!

Yes, I am a college student and when I volunteered doing the k-3rd lunch, I was horrified at these kids! 2-3rd graders weren't too bad as we had to barely get onto them. HOWEVER, 1st and especially kindergarten, were horrible.

I think I would have made the boy were the sign and stand at the door of the school instead of on the street. And at lunch and after school doing the same thing. Showing the ones he hurt instead of on the street to people that didn't know him.
Sometimes it's so hard to know what is the best way to deal with things as a parent, but his Mom did step up and I praise her for that.
When my 3 son's were 3, 4, and 5, they caught the bathroom on fire, I could have spanked them, used time out, or taken things away, but that to me would have been forgotten shortly, so what I did, which at the time seemed so mean, was I loaded them in the car, took them to the fire station and asked to see the chief, about 6 other firefighter were standing there, and I made those 3 crying, scared to death children tell the chief what they had just done. Each one of those men talked to the boys.and I must say, I was the one holding back tears, but the boys never played with fire again. they are now 25, 26, and 28, hard workers and have stayed out of trouble. Sometimes as parents we have to take a different road to lead our children on the right one.