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Abstinence pants, because chastity belts are so 17th century
As a parent, you hope your child will have the good sense to wait until they are mature (and hopefully, married to the perfect person you've carefully chosen) to become sexually active.
Of course, you're also hoping they will one day remember to close the refrigerator door all the way and put their dirty clothes in the hamper instead of in a sodden heap in the middle of the floor.
Kmart, home of the blue light special, is offering a piece of apparel (that strangely, is only available for girls) designed to serve as a giant post-it note on the virtues of being virtuous: sweatpants that say, "True Love Waits."
Would-be Lotharios are sure to take a step back and smack their foreheads with an open palm when the bubble font and cheery rainbow graphics on the thigh and backside reminds them of the wise words of MC Hammer, "Can't touch this!"
Personally, I find the purity ring a more straightforward and less open to misinterpretation symbol of abstience than these pants. And what exactly does "true love waits" mean, anyway? Does true love wait for: The weekend? Parents to be out of town? Until after 10 PM? For the third date?
|Sure, anything that serves as a reminder is useful.||1329 (15.1%)|
|No, and just one permanent marker can turn it into an ad for teen sex.||5768 (65.6%)|
|Maybe, you just never know.||1702 (19.3%)|