A SAHM's dirty little secret

That's fine, but don't whine when you're 45 years old and you decide to go back to work and find out you have to start at the bottom where we started when we were 24. We will be your bosses, and we will not be sympathetic.

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So comments are deleted if they are not completely in agreement with the columnist? Niiiiiiice. And, so confirms my view of this forum.

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I sort of thought that the point of "feminism" was that there should be a real choice available to women: work, or stay home, and that, optimistically, women who make either choice ought to be supported and affirmed.

Hirshman really hasn't done herself any favors (and I think she's mostly viewed as a loud-mouthed kook and not any kind of an expert on the topic, particularly by working-away-from-home mothers) with her extremist, intolerant views.

However: the so-called "choice" of being a stay-at-home mother can hardly be described as a choice at all when it's only available to women who are married and whose husbands make enough money, steadily, to make staying home a possibility.

Being a SAHM is work, and hard work (I did it for 14 months) and most mothers will tell you that working outside of the home is a necessity-driven sacrifice, not a way to save themselves from the rigors of diapers and ring-around-the-rosy. But it's also basically an upper-middle and upper-class issue. A single mother making $24,000 a year as a CNA or a restaurant manager doesn't have that kind of a choice available to her.

I am so totally turned-off and frankly grossed out by anyone who espouses their particular "choice" (if that's what it actually is) as being the only right one. Every family and family dynamic is different.

I work outside the home, away from my 3-year-old son, and I love what I do. In turn, he loves pre-school and spending summers at home with Dad, who's a teacher. Am I envious of them spending the summer at the beach, the ballpark, and the playground? Of course, almost every day. But do I basically think of myself as a person who works, in an office, at a specific job, for money every day? I do, and when I've tried not to, it's felt wrong and thrown off the rhythm of our family.

Parents (not just mothers; I know stay-at-home dads too): do what works for you, your kids, your career, your family, and your particular situation, and don't feel obligated to explain your choices. That's how we end the Mommy-Wars.

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Who does she think she is to tell anyone how they should live their life? Yes, I believe it is every woman's duty to show her independence and to speak on behalf of how they feel about their rights and what could be done to better improve societies views on women. But, it has always been about choice. Always about liberties and equality. With that being said she is going against everything she stands for by putting down women for their right to be at home with their children.

There are women out there that do horrible things to their babies who makes us all look bad but whether a mother stays at home or works is her prerogative. As long as she is a good mother and a good person.

It's people like her that make it difficult for all of us. Instead of being compassionate and understanding, as well as strong and determined she chooses just to judge and demand.

She is as bad as the people she speaks out against. Honestly.

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